Your Voodoo Zodiac Bullshit

The Duckman —  01/14/2011 —  Comments

Reports were coming out earlier that you were all being lied to about your zodiacs. For anyone that knows a little bit about astrology, they would know that there are 13 zodiacs, and each zodiac last for as little as 7 days, and as long as 40 days. But we have been put on a system that the Babylonians created. And by created, I mean completely made up.

The Cosmo News Network (CNN) blogged about this yesterday. Someone needs to tell all the people that got a zodiac tattoo that they are not a total fuck up. And for those who spent their life savings on Zodiac books, it’s okay, you can keep looking into the nothingness on the pages.

What CNN mentions but fails to make it a point is that the Zodiacs are a complete scheme starting with the Babylonians. Did the Babylonians know that the moon made the earth wobble, thus leading to the change in Zodiacs over time? Who knows. But what CNN states is that the Babylonians fucked around with the zodiacs because they only wanted twelve and only wanted them to be by season.

Thats completely unnatural and wrong. But the truth really didn’t matter to anyone at any point in this scam now did it?

Do you follow your sign?
Do you try to meet opposite zodiacs when trying to fall in love?
Have you ever bought your horoscope when buying groceries?
Would you ever be friends with someone that talked about zodiac signs all day long?

The Duckman

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Comments

  1. The Coach says:

    I used to be a Taurus and now I’m an Aries. I went from being a stubborn asshole to a neurotic mess…That sounds about right actually.

  2. Tennessee Lieberman says:

    hey so actually only astronomners include the thirteenth sign. astrologers ignore it completely. it may be complete bullshit, but i still love it. this is because my complete chart is pretty accurate. im a leo. its amazing. and i talk about astrology A LOT. i’m sorry, it’s just who i am. and i know this blog entry thing was posted half a year ago, which makes this whole situation really pathetic on my part lol :)