$%#@ You Valentine’s Day!

I am not a Valentine hater. I love it very much because it means I have an excuse to buy chocolate and Dora the Explorer tattoos (that come with children’s valentines).

But I understand your dislike. Blah blah blah, commercialism, blah blah blah, mainstream consumerist, blah blah blah, love isn’t real. I get why the “romance” of V-Day makes you want to vomit up all those stupid little candy hearts.

So, for those of you who are not fans, may I please provide a glimpse into a way you may say, ahem, “forget you” to Valentine’s Day from our favorite blipster, Cee Lo Green. But wait, here’s the kicker. IT’S IN SIGN LANGUAGE. You can thank me later.

Feel free to buy me flowers as thanks for my endeavors. I will continually say “Accio Flowers hipsterjew readers bought me!” until they appear.