Why did this past season of Jersey Shore give me Birthright flashbacks?

Chicky —  10/25/2011 —  Comments


Give the bro on the right a tan and it’s all Guido to me.

Just finished this season of Jersey Shore, and throughout the final episode I kept thinking to myself: Man, this shit feels like deja vu. And I finally figured out why. Guidos visiting Italy as a means of getting trashed and having sex is the same as Jewish bros visiting Israel as a means of getting trashed and having sex on Birthright. Don’t believe me? Look at these eerie similarities:

1) All the people on Jersey Shore were huge Guidos/Guidettes. All the people on Birthright are huge Jewish bros/biddies.

2) Every group of Birthrighters had that one kid who acted exactly like The Situation. All whiney and cocky but got into everyone’s business and eventually was rejected by the group. On the last day apologized so that people didn’t think he was a total fucking dick.

3) Most people on Birthright are there primarily to get drunk and hook up. Looking at the culture/history is secondary. Vinny said it best at the end of the season, “this part (the cultural/historical excursion) gave meaning to the place I’d been living in, I felt inspired”. I swear I heard like 15 people say this on our return flight.

4) Birthright is entirely fake life. Snooki admitted that Italy “wasn’t real life”. She’s a fucking idiot and even she knew that. Birthright, too, is entirely fake, like J-Wowz tatas.

5) Maybe 1 out of every 10 or 15 hookups in Birthright is between an American and an Israeli. The rest are American-American sexy relations. Same with Jersey Shore, where only a handful of real Italians were fortunate enough to leak their bodily liquids all over the “Shmoosh Room”.

6) Finally, nearly all the bars/clubs that they went to were full of Americans abroad or Americans on break. How many Israelis did you actually meet on Birthright while grinding in a club? Not many.

So, in conclusion:

Guidos visiting Italy is EXACTLY the same as Jews visiting Israel.

Chicky

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Co-Owner/Editor of Hipsterjew.com. Comedian. Collector of souls. Sometimes my mom comments on my posts. See if you can figure out which one she is! (Hint: The one who tells me be to nicer and worries about my well-being.) Follow @chickywink

Comments

  1. ck says:

    The awesomeness of this post is tempered only by the tragic fact that in order to write it, you actually had to watch an entire season of Jersey Shore. Man, that is what I call commitment – either that or a total lack of respect for the sanctity and the brevity of the time you have left on this God’s green earth. Either way, I chuckled so it was worth it to me. But at what cost? What cost!!

  2. Chicky says:

    Guilty pleasure. Totally worth reminding myself for an hour every week how much farther I could fall before I truly hate myself.