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When in Rome…Insult the Way the Natives Speak

Something I was mildly prepared for (thanks Olsen Twins!) but not entirely ready to deal with was the ridiculous differences in American English and Ye Boring Olde English English.  They add letters to words like “flavour” and “colour”. They pronounce some words like “Leicester” and “Gloucester” without letters making it “Lester” and “Gloster”.  They spell things that require a z with an s like “organization/organisation”. In every stage of these Oppressions We have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A Prince, whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people

*NOTE: I just made a very dorky Declaration of Independence joke. Sorry, guys. I know probably none of you would get that because it was incredibly vague and loosely based on a document none of us have read since middle school. But, like… I. Had. To.

Alright kids, let’s check out some definitions pulled from various internet sources which prove my theory that the English literally keep up their language nonsense for the purpose of embarrassing American students at work and play.

Pants

  • American Definition:  an outer garment covering each leg separately and usually extending from the waist to the ankle
  • UK Defintion: men’s underpants

*NOTE: Brings a whole new level to “caught with your pants down”

Fanny Pack
  • American Definition: A small pouch on a belt, for money and other valuables, worn around the waist or hips.
  • UK Definition: vulgar slang for….um…well..packing something in the vagina. Fanny means vagina. I hate this place.
Rubber (the slang version)
  • American Definition: Condamns.
  • UK Defintion: erasers. WTF

*NOTE: This is interesting because both are utilized for the prevention or fixation(?) of mistakes.

There you have it. The reason why the UK and the US just can’t be friends. We’re just two star-crossed lovers staring at each other from across the Atlantic, not really understanding what the other is on about. However, the argument just made is null and void if you are an English lad(y) who happens to have the desire to provide a nice jewish girl with a marriage visa.

 

About author
I just learned how to use the internet yesterday! Who knew there would be so much frum porn? Follow me. @lipsitzngiggles
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  • May 19, 2013 19:47

    @SeanPaulsen 19, 21, 23. We are old :(

  • May 19, 2013 02:17

    @TheRiceCakes hell yes! Love you

  • May 18, 2013 01:51

    @vboykis aw that place is so cute and filled with rich 20-somethings drinking $100 bottles of wine.

  • May 18, 2013 01:48

    @vboykis also where did you go? Cantina? Im spending next weekend at Cantina drowning in margaritas.

  • May 18, 2013 01:45

    @vboykis you didn't instagram your meal. Must be a social experiment

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