Tight pants are not good for your balls

If you’re an avid Simpsons / Seinfeld / King of the Hill fan, you have seen an episode where tighty whities are blasted for lowering sperm count. We have been told countless times that restricting your ball sack in any way will mess up your testicles. So it’s not the biggest news in the world to hear that skinny jeans are killing off the hipster blood line. But there is something you can do besides freeze your little fellas! No wait, actually there isn’t.

Listen, you’re fucked. Wearing correct fitting pants is not an option. It just doesn’t look as hot. Girls won’t be able to see the outline of your super huge package. So get ready for a life of twisted testicles, weak bladders, and childless fun. My suggestion is to invest in adult diapers when this happens. You’ll understand why the next time you’re at Bonnaroo waiting in a super long line to take a piss.

For your health!