This Passover eat Vermatzah instead of boring matzah

Chicky —  04/15/2011 —  Comments

Yes, you heard that right. Vermatzah. Possibly the first ever matzah considered “eco-Kosher”. And you should buy this brand over every other crappy, Rabbi-certified hand-made matzah. Why?

There are a few reasons.

1) This eco friendly shit is as Vermont as Vermont can be. And it isn’t cheap. But hand-made kosher matzah is one of the few things that costs a shitload regardless. SO if you are going to pay the pretty buck, why not go for artisan, socially responsible matzah? You know the person getting your money will spend it on their craft.

Would a few good Rabbis certify 'eco Kosher'?



2) Artisan matzah?
Most handmade matzah these days is generic and is made in a ‘matzah factory’. I’m pretty sure that the Chabad controls many of these. Chabad dudes with long, curly beards. I don’t want that curly beard hair in my matzah.

A matzah factory is a factory, run by religious Jews, whose job it is to make matzah for the holidays. Round, burned, generic handmade matzah. It sucks. It always sucks. And it’s an easy way to make a buck off of Jews.

3) Rabbis have made the term Kosher into a political lobbing of law bombs
. So as far as I am concerned this is the only way you can use Kosher appropriately. And I AM knocking Kosher. Since ‘kosher’ has been abused by Rabbis who don’t pay illegal immigrant workers. So yeah Vermontzah, you can have the title as your own.

4) “IS VERMATZAH KOSHER? Vermatzah is Eco-Kosher.
However, it is not produced under Rabbinical supervision. At Naga Bakehouse we understand Eco-Kosher to mean a broader sense of “good practice” in everyday life that draws on the deep well-springs of Jewish wisdom and tradition about the relationships between human beings and the earth.” It’s full of hippie jargon. But that doesn’t stop it from being true.

So this Passover, if you are in Vermont (sadly they currently only sell it in 7 stores) I suggest you buy one of these puppies. This artisan craze is bound to take over the ‘alt Jew’ world. Jump on this train before eco-matzah is sold in the Hassidic section of Williamsburg.

Rock on you crazy hippies. If I had 14 bucks for matzah I’d bring some this home.

(If you are in RI I’ll be willing to get a box for ya. Send a text or something.)

Chicky

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Co-Owner/Editor of Hipsterjew.com. Comedian. Collector of souls. Sometimes my mom comments on my posts. See if you can figure out which one she is! (Hint: The one who tells me be to nicer and worries about my well-being.) Follow @chickywink

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