Walking around town this morning, I saw something quite disturbing. It was a hipster. “But wait!” you say, “YOU are a hipster. Otherwise, why would you be writing for this blog?” Wait, dear readers, let me finish.
This was an old hipster. A hipster over the age of forty. A man dressed up as something his child would be old enough to claim as his own. Someone desperately clinging to the last vestiges of his youth, ungracefully (and unconvincingly) pretending to be full of vim, vigor, vitality, and other words describing people half his age.
Look. There isn’t really an agreed-upon cutoff date for people in subcultures, but everyone knows past a certain age, people are supposed to grow up. My reaction would have been the same if that 40-year-old was dressed as goth or scene or whatever other high-school stereotype might still be prevalent. They’re called high-school stereotypes for a reason. And hipsters, being a (mostly) college-aged stereotype, is little better. I know people who look younger than myself that dress like professionals every day and go to high-paying jobs and do adult things of that nature. Then on the other hand there’s this dude who graduated college in 1991 and is acting like that was a year ago. PROTIP: Skinny jeans don’t suit you, guy. Time to hang it up.
Something else that really skeeves me out about the whole thing is that it might be a cover to pick up chicks half his age who would otherwise be attracted to hipsters. I mean, a sober she-hipster would obviously brush off this tryhard without a second thought. But one plied by a few PBR’s too many? Well, still I think the pathetic vibes coming from this type of dude might be picked up by even the drunkest chick, but you never know with these things.
Basically, my entire objection to this sight wasn’t the fact that he was old. I know everyone is going to be old at some point. You can’t live forever, and you can’t look young forever (unless you’re a celebrity and you feel like experimenting with multi-million dollar techniques, and those are a crapshoot). But look, when I’m that guy’s age I am not going to be hanging around coffeeshops trying to dress like and impress people half my age. That’s totally retarded, and more than a little sad. The older you get, the more the fashion of subculture becomes something closer to a Halloween costume. The-40-year-old-as-hipster is the equivalent of wearing a Spider-Man costume: Funny on October 31st, ridiculous and stupid any other day of the year.
My advice: Dude, act and dress like someone your age. Grow old with dignity. Marry someone from your own generation (when that chick you picked up at the bar is sober and hears you rhapsodizing about the decade before she was born, she’s going to hate your wrinkled ass). Then, when you pass out of this life, you’ll be remembered as a person, and not a tryhard.
Unless this is your casket. Then you’ll be remembered as diehard.
Ana
04/14/2011
Ok, I agree that it’s a little sad to see someone his age trying desperately to be cool, but I also feel bad for the guy. I mean, you’re 40, but you still love alternative music and fashion. You can’t help it. And there’s not really other people your age that get you. That probably sucks. I wore my Velvet Underground shirt to class the other day and one of my professors was like “I used to listen to them… back when I was young and radical…” and he looked so sad, it was heartbreaking, haha.
People like him need to get famous. I mean, no one’s telling Mick Jagger he needs to dress more professionally.
IronyOnRye
04/15/2011
Yeah, point conceded. If you’re a rock star or someone famous, you don’t have to play by the rules.
lastonerstanding
08/19/2011
I just turned 33 love alt and indie music and culture and I don’t care what people say I will never sell out. Age isn’t anything but a number do you think William Burroughs was like damn these guys Kerouac and Ginsburg are cool but they are 10 years younger than me we can’t hang. Do you think that 23 year old blonde in the french new wave shirt I was talking to last night at this rock club isn’t interested as soon as I tell her that I am 33 I am pretty sure that isn’t why we weren’t making out. Trust me if someone is hung up on your age they are not that cool, maybe I am wrong but I see guys in their 40′s dating girls in their 20′s pretty regular in the art/indie scene.
The Duckman
08/19/2011
33 is the new 23.
bay5410
04/19/2012
The fact that you call yourself a hipster but try to fit people into a certain category makes you kind of a hypocrite, wouldn’t you say? I thought hipsters were nonconformists.
Grow Up
08/03/2012
Skinny jeans don’t suit any man of any age. If you’re in your late to mid 20s you too are too old for that hipster shit. Fuck todays trend, go with a classic style. If you’re in your mid to late 20s you should want to be seen as an adult and taken seriously. Like it or not it starts with you appearance. I for one will not take a 25-30 year old man seriously in skinny jeans and neon tank tops claiming nostalgia for an era they never lived through. But maybe thats just me.
Foolsgold
10/14/2012
Really grow up? I never looked at the sub-culture as a age related thing, then again I don’t identify myself as a hipster, but I have been accused on more then one occasion. So what does the old hipster become after he “retires” what should he wear? do tell.. business suits perhaps? Trade is the VW for a Benz? Maybe finally use that associates in liberal arts? Get a “real job”? I am 28 year old male, have no college education, work 20-25 hours and week, wear tight jeans, have a paid off pad in a fringe suburb/urbanish area on the border of Detroit, have zero debt and try real hard not to participate in the system. I don’t want for much, I have a thousand dollar car and a few vintage motorcycles. I support myself, why would I want to become a sheep of the heard? aka grow up? My guess is you folks that identify yourselves as “hipster” its not really real probably just a style, a trend, a fad, a phase, a popularity contest? For the record I wear tight jeans and chuck taylors because they are comfortable. Did it ever occur to you that you are the one trying to fit in? Maybe grandpa hipster is just being himself. Anyway I’m ranting about a pointless topic. Excuse my poor,spelling, grammar and punctuation… never did finish the associate’s degree.