Archives For vermont

Come and listen to me and fellow comedian Will Betts interview Kyle Kinane about Pace Salsa, and then go on some wonderful tangents! Don’t worry, if you don’t care about the tangents, we talk about the salsa in the first 10 minutes.

If you don’t like laughing, I guess that’s cool too.

Hey all, I wanna update you about my life via Hipsterjew. I have a podcast. It’s a Vermonty podcast I’ve started because whenever I listen to VPR (That’s NPR, but specifically for Vermont, yeah we’re THAT local), I find myself wishing they were a bit funnier. A bit more bad ass, with more personality, and willing to say ‘fuck’ all the fucking time. So it’s called the 14th State Podcast, because Vermont was the 14th state to enter, etc etc history is boring. Kyle Kinane will be a guest on it this weekend!

Want us to ask him anything? Comment below, no matter how smart, asinine, or immature your question is!

So I’ll be posting that episode when it comes out sometime next week. I shall also be opening for Kyle Kinane this weekend, which will be exciting. If he comes to a city near you (check his tour dates), go fucking see him. He’s smart, hilarious, and bearded. And not in a Hipster way. Like he came out of the womb with a beard on his face, that’s how natural it looks.

What? What’s going? Have I suddenly moved to Austin, or possibly a smaller Portland? When did little liberal Vermont get someone as big as Fred Armisen to perform? In a Unitarian Church? The same one that saw Jeff Mangum perform in?

Now in the past I’ve been critical about Portlandia. I feel too many sketches go on too long after the punchline, or that too often the punchline isn’t big enough for the 4 minute set up. But that doesn’t mean I’m not a fan of Fred Armisen’s work, as a sketch comic, actor, and stand up comic.

So fucking excited.

Good work to friends Nathan and Natalie at Vermont Comedy Club.

Good things do come to pessimistic ironic assholes who live in small uber-white liberal northeastern towns. #northernwhitepeopleoptimism

Maybe it’s the cold I’ve been fighting. Or the fact it’s Wednesday. But I have no interest in writing anything remotely related to the news. So instead, here is a commercial of me that has aired recently in northern Vermont! Better watch closely or you’ll miss me!

I’m the enabler.

Today is a shining moment for Hipsterjew.com. We have been partially vindicated. We’ve worked weeks and years to take back the word ‘Hipster’, to have it mean more than ‘douchebag who dresses like they’re colorblind and drinks shitty beer’. And while we may still dress stupid, and drink crappy beer (only after we run out of microbrews), maybe we’re taking the word back. Hipster will one day be OUR word.

I,  you’re humble editor and Hipster Jew, have won runner up of Burlington, Vermont’s alternative newspaper 7Days’, reader-voted award as ‘Hippest Hipster’. I’m not entirely sure what that means. But friends keep telling me it means that “I’m more hip than #1, because #1 is a try-hard, and everybody likes an underdog*.

Which, I’m fairly certain, is the nice way of saying: First is the worst and second is the best.

DAMNIT MOM, DO YOU LOVE ME NOW!?!?

Also, I beat out Sen. Bernie Sanders, which will be the first and last time this ever happens. I don’t deserve it, but I’ll take it. I’ve been vindicated and now duped into believing I don’t waste my precious hours drinking heavily on this earth instead of drinking moderately while writing blog posts. Maybe one day I can be #1. Or I can atleast write more articles for VT’s #1 Hipster alt magazine, Thread.

Anyhow I just wanted to thank all of you who voted for me and made it possible for me to win this pointless award, but more importantly thank you for giving me something to write about. Today was a slow news day.

*Notably I’m still a terrible comedian. Inside sources say my reliance on fart jokes and Yo Mamma jokes are the cause for this mediocrity in the polls.

Although I have recently derided against the seductive whiff of DIY Kickstarter, I am a big fan of Kinky Creature, a Burlington Vermont indie rock band. Yes, I supported their Kickstarter. As I have for another friend’s wonderful San Fransisco-based band, Yassou Benedict (I know you have 40+ hours to go, but I am finally getting around to it, okay, Jeesh!)

Yes, two of the members of Kinky Creature are my roommates. Yes, that makes me incredibly partial. Yes, if I said I hated this music they would probably hit me with a bag of wet cats (this was their threat, not mine) until I cried. But I do love it. So don’t worry about me, Mom, I live to fight another day.

They are almost done with their cover for you, dear HipsterJew reader, of The Clash’s Overpowered by the Funk, the song that proved the death of punk music.

You may remember that Kinky Creature presented us with a song of their own, Whiskey Fingers. Now they present us to their EP, which you can stream for free below. Huzzah for the internet!

I’ve been to this store. It is full of Vintage things, such as mens apparel, costumes, and Hipster crap. You may be confused. ‘How do these three go together?’, you may be wondering to yourself while wearing fake Ray Bans and playing with your broken snap-watch (not from personal experience or anything). But to claim to be ‘vintage’ and then add on all of these extras? Next Salvation Army is going to start calling themselves vintage, and then the word will have even less meaning than it has now (which is pretty meaningless). Soon everything will be vintage, and then real vintage will have to call themselves ‘uber duber vintage’ and that’s just a stupid name. I’m not going to brag about my ‘uber duber vintage’ glasses frames.

Thanks a lot, Burlington Vermont vintage store Downtown Threads. I want to blame you for diluting the necessity of the over-used Hipster-approved word ‘vintage’.

Now show me what you have in terms of Hipster Crap. My trust fund is buying.

 

BRAINSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

If there’s one thing I learned from the movie Bubba Ho-tep (Although let’s be honest what DIDN’T I learn?) it’s that humans love to scribble on walls whilst pooing. Make up rumors. Call my mother a whore. Just don’t get downright mean because some Hipster is hooking up with some alt girl that you had your eye on the whole night. Hipster’s don’t hate you. There’s no need to hate something that is beneath you. So dump your jealousy in the toilet and start calling my mother filthy names. I won’t take it personally if you don’t.

Also, when you write this in a small town with 30 bars, and that particular bar is known for its ‘Hipster crowd’, you sound petty and whiney. Like my dad (some homeless guy on the street) always told me, if you don’t like Hipsters, go to a sports bar. Shitty beer is shitty no matter where you are.

<3 DJ Chicky

Country Living decided to showcase Neko Case’s (The New Pornographers, Solo) colonial-era Vermont farmhouse. (Vermont is made entirely of farms and maple syrup, and cows outnumber large mountain cats 1,000,000,000 to 1.) And when I say Vermont, I don’t mean like an area within 30 miles of public transit. I mean nestled in between Canada and New Hampshire. Zombie-proof.

And let’s just give a big woooowieee to this adorable little house-in-the-hills she owns!

The musician characterizes her decorative mash-up as “a combination of science classroom, hunting lodge, and Art Nouveau battleship.” // Country Living

Is this a trend? Indie musicians moving to liberal northeastern farms. I hope the NYTimes covers it soon.

All I know is that her liberal attitude towards abortion is perfect for fetus-hating, gay-loving Vermont.

“I should have been an abortion,” Case says, with her customary frankness. “The only reason I wasn’t was that my father was a Christian.” Air quotes didn’t quite land on that proper noun, but they hovered close by. He was also a heavy drinker, she says, and used drugs, and “he hated his life. And he reminded us of that every day.” // NYTimes

See more pictures here.