“A pederast. He’s a fucking pederast dude.”
“What’s a pederast, Bert?”
“Shut the fuck up, Ernie!”

Oh wait, these words can from sidesplitter.com, which gives an in-depth detailed account of how hard (pun intended) this movie tries to parody the real Big Lebowski.

Fact is, I love The Big Lebowski. And this parody, unlike others before it, has many things going for it. There was a huge amount of effort and production value put into this parody. It was made shot for shot, gag for gag, actor-for-look-a-like actor. Don’t believe me? Watch the ‘suitable-for-YouTube’ trailer.

http://youtu.be/LGb72TPj9l8

Everyone knows I love The Big Lebowski. Therefore I gotta rep this USA TV documentary, directed by the same guy who made the documentary The Devil and Daniel Johnston. For fans of all levels, this video will not disappoint.

“Gotta Get Up” – Asher Roth from Luke Tedaldi on Vimeo.

Holy shit. Fuck me. This must be the month that God hates me. I don’t blame him. I just wish he wouldn’t make it so personal. First there was the Big Lebowski Monopoly. Then Tara Reid made a shitty parody of The Big Lebowski for Funny or Die. And now? This bullshit?

Asher Roth. Way to overkill The Dude. This is the first time in my life I have zero interest in watching the movie. You killed a little bit of me.

Look. We obviously have a bit in common. No, not about love for college. But we are both Jews, with large noses, curly beards, and wavy hair. And we both enjoy The Big Lebowski.

But god damnit, you make me want to punch you in your smug bird face. Hoodie Allen and Kosha Dillz put you to shame. I hate you Asher Roth you are a hack with no skills of subtlety. Your lyrics suck and your mom should be ashamed of you.

This video brings out the white guilt in me. I wish I was not white and privileged like you. Worst part is that the instrumental is good enough that this shit is stuck in my head.

Seeing a movie 'a few times' doesn't give you the right to parody it, you self-righteous prick

(via somekindofawesome)

(picture via chinashopmag)

Everyone knows I am the biggest Dude fan inside the state of Vermont. It’s a fact. I blog about the movie every time I have an opportunity to. I’ve dreamed of starting a Lebowski bowling night at my local bowling alley. And if I had as much motivation as the Dude, I would join a bowling team. I digress.

I liked Tara Reid. She made me feel good about myself when I would say derogatory things about blonde women. It’s like she worked hard to fulfill every negative stereotype imaginable. But this monstrosity? The Dude does not abide, man. The Dude does not abide. I’m gonna be having some LSD-induced flashback nightmares after this one.

If I saw this when I was 16 I would have found this hilarious. Sadly Monopoly hasn’t been fun….well…ever. So I don’t thinking making a Big Lebowski version will keep my interest. I will give the Lebowski fan credit for making this board on his own. The best I ever did to show my support was buy a bathrobe and name a bowling pin ‘The Dude’. I only have one problem with the board: It’s erev shabbos dude, not arab shabbos. Goys.

(vie flavorwire and reddit)

Walter Sobchak: I told those fucks down at the league office a thousand times that I don’t roll on Shabbos!
Donny: What’s Shabbos?
Walter Sobchak: Saturday, Donny, is Shabbos, the Jewish day of rest. That means that I don’t work, I don’t get in a car, I don’t fucking ride in a car, I don’t pick up the phone, I don’t turn on the oven, and I sure as shit [shouts] don’t fucking roll! Shomer shabbos!
The Dude: Walter…
Walter Sobchak: Shomer fucking shabbos.

Another one of these restrictions is using technology created after the time of the birth of Jesus, circa 1AD.  This is where the people from rebooters.net have come to make sure we don’t replace our mothers with iPhones and Blackberries. These technophile-hipsters are trying to make Shabbos restrictions a little more modern, and I’m all for it. If you’ve ever gone an entire day without using an ounce of modern technology, you’ll understand how liberating the feeling can be. Just one more way to try to throw off the yoke of technology that is our master.

Jews and non-Jews alike can share in this wonderful holiday. As the NYTimes explains,

The manifesto’s guidelines were written in broad terms to leave it open to nonpracticing Jews, and even non-Jews, Mr. Rollman said. “Nobody wanted those rules to be like, ‘We should insist that everybody goes back to synagogue.’ ” Instead, the manifesto offers instructions like “avoid technology,” “find silence” and “drink wine.”

So tonight, may we drink our Herzog/Rashi wine, take a walk on this beautiful spring evening, and try not to compulsively check our cellphones every 30 seconds for a new text. As the Hebrew Hammer once said, Shabbat Shalom muthafuckas.

via The New York Times

• “At issue is a disputed agreement that the one-time couple would raise the girl in the Jewish faith, attorneys in the case say.

• While Joseph Reyes said he converted to Judaism after his daughter was born, he insists they never agreed to raise the girl in the Jewish faith, that they never kept a kosher home, rarely observed the Sabbath and only went to services a few times together with the child.”

The dad converted to Judaism. He got stiffed in a divorce and decided to take it public. That kinda makes him a douche. It also happened to go against his restraining order. Oops.

I think Mr. Reyes needs to take a page out of The Big Lebowski.

The Dude: Yeah, and five fucking years ago you were divorced.
Walter Sobchak: So what are you saying? When you get divorced you turn in your library card? You get a new license? You stop being Jewish?
The Dude: It’s all a part of your sick Cynthia thing, man. Taking care of her fucking dog. Going to her fucking synagogue. You’re living in the fucking past.
Walter Sobchak: Three thousand years of beautiful tradition, from Moses to Sandy Koufax…
[shouting]
Walter Sobchak: You’re goddamn right I’m living in the fucking past!

Thanks to Whitney for the article.

On that note, I realized the other day that materially I do pretty well in relationships. I’m not the type of person to just take and take and take, but for some reason they have historically ended shortly after my birthdays. Therefore, I get a good present every couple years (isn’t love grand?). For instance, in high school I received Weezer’s Pinkerton. I shouldn’t need to mention how influential that album has been on skinny white boys everywhere. Most recently,  I got the book “I’m a Lebowski, You’re a Lebowski”. The book is filled with wonderfully useless knowledge that any fanboy needs to know. The Dude abides.

At the same time, this has led me to another revelation: The relationships I have had ended shortly after my birthday. I’ll admit for a while I was a bit melancholy. I couldn’t figure out if it was a causual or direct relationship between my birthday and the breakups, like the relationship between fire and brimstone. I’ll be damned to leave it to coincidence or fate to decide this dilemma.

After a few brief moments of soul searching I (Above: My Second Choice) decided that the only explanation is that my birth was a phenomenal day. So impressive, in fact, that the girls became horribly jealous and petty. They knew deep inside their own hollow caverns of an excuse for a heart that they could never attain the boyish charisma and slight neuroticism that simultaneously makes me god-like and forces me to create these tepid excuses.

I can picture it now, shortly after my birthday, them pacing around a room wildly, like a bear caught in a trap. Considering it a ‘fight or flight’ moment, a royal rumble if you will, they chose to leave before their self esteems fell lower than the Dow Jones afer 9/11.

But man, those gifts were pretty considerate. Thanks again.