Hipster Jew » Star Wars

New Band Name: C-3PO with a Boner

Chicky — Wed, 23 May 2012 19:38:10 +0000

This needs to be a new indie band. Full of irony, pop culture references. And STAR WARS. FUCKING STAR WARS.

Urban myth says that the boner card may be real. I don’t care if it is or isn’t. Seeing a golden anorexic robot with an erection will let me die a happy man. TOPPS trading cards for the win.

//Laughing Squid

Perform a Darth Seder for May the 4th (be with you)

Chicky — Fri, 04 May 2012 21:36:47 +0000

Passover? Probably would be better if it involved Star Wars. And on College Humor it does. Complete with all the Star Wars-related puns you could fit into a 4 minute video. Bonus: People chanting the Star Wars theme halfheartedly, just like at your real Seder!

May the Schwartz be with you!

/Heeb Magazine

Darth Vader is probably Jewish (not black)

Chicky — Fri, 23 Mar 2012 15:47:51 +0000

Conspiracy theories abound! Darth Vader is NOT the epitome of African Americans (as they would have you believe in Chasing Amy). Nah. Darth Vader is a bonified, glorified Mensch. If you believe the picture below is real and original,

Which leads us to wonder? Was he hiding as a Sith during the Clone Wars so that nobody would uncover his Drewish identity?

Supposedly, if you believe in the Hebrew language and that everything that comes out of Hollywood is predominantly Jewish, then you should also believe that these are the words emblazoned on Vader’s chestplate: (Translation) His deed will not be forgiven until he merits.

Literally Vader’s life story.

We COULD get philosophical here, and talk about how many Vader was God, Luke was the ‘Chosen people’, and that God can sin. That God will not be forgiven until bad things stop happening to the Jews (never). Or that he allows them to not feel forever persecuted (maybe). Only Hashem knows.

Next I’ll be waiting for people to prove that light sabers are just 2 parts of the Torah scroll.

// io9

Star Wars Characters as Hipsters

IronyOnRye — Thu, 12 Jan 2012 19:59:44 +0000

Here’s a site that imagines some Star Wars characters as hipsters. A+ for effort.

However, I’m gonna have to give you a D in execution. Only one character is wearing a cardigan? There’s no skinny jeans, no flannel, no overly colorful tattoo sleeves/tattoos of stars and birds, boxy black lenses or empty frames are nowhere to be found. I was looking forward to seeing Princess Leia as the arty barista rocking some jeggings and kneehigh hooker boots with a scarf and deep v pastel tshirt. Maybe a pair of Porta Pros blasting the new Silversun Pickups EP? She’d have hipster bangs as well as the space danish hairdo, don’t ask me how, it’s my fantasy damnit. And this has failed to deliver.

I mean, Jango’s rocking the hipster look perfectly, everyone else just looks like a fashionista. Dressed far too well to be a real hipster.

Also, they painted Jar Jar and not Han or Luke. Really?

Han Solo has a message for you

The Duckman — Wed, 07 Dec 2011 19:28:48 +0000

IT’S A MENORAH!

I know you have already seen this photo. But if I don’t post it, I look like an asshole.

h/t @daveysaurusrex

Your nerdy Friday meme

Chicky — Fri, 08 Jul 2011 17:16:09 +0000

Star Wars is the theme today. Every good nerd and every 8 year old boy can spout obscure facts about the Star Wars universe. Because Star Wars fucking rules. So, for your viewing pleasure:

Everyone loves Dunkin’. I’m not just saying that because I’m from New England (okay yes I am).

I <3 Star Wars themed parodies.

(via Laughing Squid)

Happy Father’s day!

The Duckman — Sun, 19 Jun 2011 14:30:59 +0000

Is this even a real holiday?

George Lucas Strikes Back (trailer)

Chicky — Fri, 03 Jun 2011 16:26:44 +0000

If you were looking for the next nerdy viral video, here it is. In a world gone mad, George Lucas is abducted at the height of his career. Indiana Jones is huge, Star Wars is even bigger. But an imposter takes his place and rapes the golden empire of George Lucas circa 1991.

I know George Lucas is an easy target, but he deserves it. If you hated Indiana Jones 4 or Star Wars 1-3, you will lol until it hurts, and then you will cry a little. Because it’s true. It’s all true.

If only the smug prick had been frozen in carbonite.

Star Wars Uncut

The Duckman — Fri, 27 May 2011 16:53:22 +0000

I’m so late on this. I heard about it on NPR recently, and don’t care about Emmy’s or Golden Globes, or whatever the hell award movies wins. So obviously no one would tell me, and I would have no way of hearing about Star Wars Uncut. If you haven’t seen it yet, Star Wars Uncut is a projected created by Casey Pugh, a developer at hip Vimeo. Each scene in Star Wars was cut into 15 seconds clips. Random “directors” were able to claimed the clips and refilm them. Some of them are awful. Others are too funny. If you haven’t already checked it out, watch your young adult dreams come true here

Star Wars Uncut – Scene 173 from BEN JACQUES on Vimeo.

StarWars Uncut Scene 72 from Ryan Ortgiesen on Vimeo.

I once made IronyonRye a Star Wars Yarmulka

Chicky — Tue, 15 Mar 2011 20:42:54 +0000

Are you jealous? Are you? Because you should be.

Imagine a 14 year old Chicky, a fresh faced freshman on his way to public school. He has only 2 friends in the whole world, most likely because he smells bad and doesn’t know how to make real conversation. But then one day he meets IronyonRye. And they both discover they are huge nerds who will never know the touch of a woman.

So how would someone as Jewish as Chicky show gratitude for a blossoming young friendship such as this? Handmade yarmulkas, of course. Handmade motherfuckin’ STAR WARS yarmulkas!

And his friendship continues till this very day! A gay Disney movie if I ever heard one.

And now for something completely different: