It’s like a shitty first person role-playing videogame from the early 90′s. Except all you do is imagine some pushy Hassidic salesman while staring at lots of electronics.

I just want to know: Did B&H pay Google to get this done for them? Did Hassidim forget that the internet is where the devil lives, and where temptation lies? God must be pissed, amiright? Expect B&H stock to plummet via wrath of god.

And when you get done with looking around, you can go to the B&H website and buy a moderately priced electronic device. Unless it’s on the Sabbath. God doesn’t like it if you place orders on the day of rest

If you wanna go on the tour, check it out here.

// laughingsquid

Coffee Common brings together world-class baristas and roasters with shared values, to create unique experiences that introduce people to the nuanced joys of exceptional coffee. We believe that great coffee is, at its best, a collaboration of an empowered coffee farmer, an artisan coffee roaster, a dedicated barista, and an enlightened consumer. We believe that great coffee requires study, experimentation, craftsmanship, and humility. Coffee Commons.

Seems like a good first date…

Helvetica & Hipster

This pretty much explains itself. You probably missed it. It ended on Sunday. And now you’ll be making shitty french-pressed coffee for the rest of your life. Forever burning your freshly ground $14/lb coffee beans. Or drinking Dunkin’ Donuts because you are an asshole from Massachusetts. Either way you suck and will never win the International Barista award for Baristas with Exceptional Excellence in Roasting, Grinding, and Condescending. May as well start drinking something terrible like tea.

See more photos of your dreams dashed here on laughingsquid.

Finally, someone within the boorish and stifling (just a presumption) NYC Traffic Department is thinking outside the box. Maybe they visited Portland, OR and got a little jealous about how ‘alternative’ and ‘trend-setting’ that city is?

Just wait until these bad boys are limited edition graphic Tees!

You should probably like this campaign, as the new signs are quite visually appealing. But in case you are a cynical asshole, hopefully this quote will persuade you otherwise.

Morse says one delightful and unexpected consequence of the project is that it has brought some haiku poets out of the woodwork. “One of the joys of doing this sort of thing is how many people have responded to it with their own haiku,” Morse says. “There’s just a plethora of haiku coming out. It’s so exciting.” (Via NPR)

Yaaaaaaay. Let’s have a haiku orgy. Meet me at the local free-trade coffee shop in Williamsburg for a haiku open-mic! Condoms and lube provided. Must bring own towel.

More crazy Hipster traffic signs at NPR.

Anyhow, this rant started because of a post describing 4 “Rabbinic Hipsters”.

Their profiles are as follows:

#1 is Amichai Lau-Lavie (not technically a rabbi) of Storahtelling, which holds High Holy Days services at Soho’s City Winery
#2 is Rabbi Jen Krause of the Upper East Side’s 92nd Street Y
#3 is Darby Jared Leigh of the New Shul in the West Village
#4 is Simcha Weinstein of the Rohr Center, a Chabad House in Brooklyn’s Clinton Hill.
(Via the Jewish Week)

Somehow they forgot the one seemingly-cool “Hipster Shul” in Soho that was featured in the NYTimes not too long ago.

Are Hipster Jews easily -er- tricked into doing religious things? Or are they just interested in non-denominational services that involve similar young, hip, people?

Asked how he feels about being deemed “hip,” Lau-Lavie, whose City Winery services attract more than 500 per service, told The Jewish Week, he prefers to describe his approach as “contemporary and authentic,” because “hip comes and goes.”

“If hip means appealing and out of the box, then I’m very happy and flattered to be out of the box,” he added. (Same link as above)

Sigh. One day we will be understood as something more than sheep. Something more than a group of people who automatically flock to the next trend or fad unknowingly and unwittingly. Until then, I’m gonna pray wherever I damn please.

That Hipster/Alt hotel is called Ace Hotel. The website alone is artistically appealing.

Not only do the Ace Hotels in Portland and NYC have Google Chromebooks for every room. Now they have Polaroid cameras, the preferred cameras of 5 out of 6 Hipsters!

So if you are a wealthy Hipster with ca$h monies, and are planning on vacationing in 1 of 4 stereotypical vacationing destinations, then Ace Hotel is the Hipster Hotel for you.

I’m usually not a big fan of live theater. If it’s funny and entertaining, it should be on tv. I should be able to download it and view it at MY convenience. Alone. Probably drunk.

But as I age and slowly mature, I’ve begin to appreciate certain kinds of theater. Legitimate theater. And theater that has themes that I, as a post-college male thespian hipster, can relate to.

My takeaway point: Anything relating to old school video games rules. If you want to nab yourself an HJ, just remember that. There is reason why BARCADE dominates the bar scene.

It’s like my wet dreams have all come true!

<<< more @ Laughing Squid <<<

Rural areas are totally ‘in’ for the new hipster generation:

“It’s just my comfort zone,” said Rebekah Blu, who has specialized in rock ’n’ roll, celebrity and what she calls Goddess photography and moved to town with her husband and two infants from the East Village two months ago. “You think of the East Village; you have local businesses, not chains, you don’t need a car, there’s lots of art and culture. You have a lot of that here, but you’re living in the country.”(NYTimes)

Turns out that north on the Hudson some young families of Hipsters are moving. Sure, you could call this another case of white flight from the urban area of Williamsburg. Which it is. Or you could ignore it and see it as a positive. Hipsters are embracing the outdoor lifestyle, something that Vermonters have done since they stole the land from Abenaki Indians.

Dave Lerner, a musician, found the Brooklyn life getting claustrophobic and moved to West Saugerties, a placed that seemed different but part of a familiar universe, where there was music and culture but you could bike, hike and breathe.

Will this trend continue? Will Williamsburg run out of Hipsters as they all move back to rural towns where some of them grew up, such as Akron, Ohio and anywhere outside of Georgia, Atlanta?

Time will tell.

(Thanks Adam D. for the tip)

Take a look at this picture. If that isn’t the Duckman without his hipster glasses, holding another man, after getting gay-married over the weekend in NYC…

Our mom is gonna be so angry if his husband isn’t Jewish. Oh, and she’ll be pissed that she wasn’t invited to the wedding. Typical Duckman.

(Thanks Abby for the tip)

Not too long ago Brian Williams went on a self-hating rant about hipsters. And he shat on NYtimes in the process, in obviously hipster-hating fashion. It’s one of our favorite bashing pastimes too, Mr. Williams. He mostly did this to prove how large his balls were in the trendy world of young people. And it worked.

Now he’s back, singing the same song but for a new commercial. You motherfucking sociologist wizard. I salute you.

(via Gawker)

Brian Williams…now w/ Deer Tick!

oh man, oh man.

so i had band practice tonight (we dont have a name yet). i promised myself i’d be out by 11, home by 12, and up nice and early for work tomorrow.

one beer turns into two beers turns into….well, midnight rolls around, and i’m just having so much fun, i tell myself ‘one more beer.’

i have that beer, enjoy it like there’s no tomorow, rock out for another hour, and begin to pack up and head home.

i get on the F train.

suddenly -

i.

completely.

forget.

where.

i.

am.

am i in uganda?

am i in guadalajara mexico?

where the god damn hell am i, i have no idea??!!

and then at the Bergen stop, when all hope seemed lost, i came across this:

PHEW!!!

now that i knew where i was, i hopped on the next F train, made my necessary transfer, and headed home.

if you ever get lost, just head to the manhattan-bound track on the Bergen stop and if you’re lucky like me on this chilly autumn new york evening, all your prayers will be answered.