Archives For nyc

hasid-cross-street

No seriously. Why did he cross the road? The New York Marathon is going on and you can see this guy just zip back and forth like he’s playing a game of frogger. What some people don’t realize is that when you play frogger in real life, people tend to get hurt. derp de derp. Maybe he heard about the legs and thigh sale.

// r/nyc

If you’ve been anywhere near the internet the past few weeks, you would know that Banksy has been hanging out in NYC. Or this is all some elaborate prank and he’s paying a bunch of homeless people to create in his name. Either way, New York has graffiti buzz.

banksy-truck

photo via Gothamist

One of Banksy’s recent pieces on the back of a truck ended up being the property of I and A Merchandising, run by an Orthodox Jew named Israel. Since this discovery, Israel has hidden his truck from being defaced. He also has received a many phone calls. Some asking to see the piece, others asking to buy the truck. One person offered 70K for just the back door.

My favorite part of this story has nothing to do with Israel and his truck. It has to do with the comment section of the Vos Iz Neias article on this Banksy piece. You would think that the quote:

The grumpier you are, the more assholes you meet…

would get someone to think before they post a comment about the artist or the value of art. But no. Grumpy assholes don’t care to read into anything other than their own thoughts. Especially in the comment section of a Jewish website… So although I don’t care much about Banksy, I run into moments like this where I see the genius in his work.

milking-th-cow-lenadunham

Lena Dunham was filmed milking a cow in New York for a Funny or Die video. So do what you do best HJ readers, let’s caption contest this one:

// Cosmopolitan

weiner-truck

The food cart business just keeps on getting more and more clever and niche. Just make sure you don’t ask for a ‘Carlos Danger with Hot Sauce’ because I’m pretty sure a guy is going to hand you a hot dog, but instead of a hot dog, it’s a penis.

// gawker

No one goes to the Opera. The opera is for rich assholes and people with European Renaissance fetishes. Sometimes someone genius, or insane, or probably a bit of both, writes an opera injected with pop culture. Specifically, in homage to the Mario Bros.

Jon Mann has created a Mario Bros Rock Opera. To say it looks amazing is an understatement. It should be made – it should be the next Fistful of Quarters of the opera world. It should encourage an entire generation to appreciate the opera as an art form.

We’ve missed it – but maybe this cultural masterpiece will come back to NYC. I mean, if Jeff Mangum can come back, I’m pretty sure anything is possible.

//LaughingSquid

hipster-v-hasid-bike

We have been keeping you up to date on the Hipster vs. Hasid bike war for three years now. We’ve taken you through the low moments and the super low moments. At the same time we’ve written over and over again, how the two groups learn from each other and help each other out in other ways. But riding bikes? Oh boy. There’s some problems there.

So you can see why a 52 year old Catholic mom, Miki Bone, from Dallas would be so interested in writing a play about the Hipster v. Hasid bike war called Division Avenue. Mix sexual tension, with funny looking hot people and you got yourself a story!

I will say, that this story is most likely 100% false in historical, social, and economical facts. It’ll most likely leave out a lot of parts of this story involving corruption, and the underlining dislike each group has for the other. That being said, maybe this is a good enough story to check out?? Bone did talk to the expert on bike wars, Baruch Herzfeld, whom probably steered her in the right direction. But without actually seeing the play, I can’t help but wonder…

errr

Division Avenue
June Havoc Theatre
312 W. 36th St
July 17 – August 3
$18
Midtown International Theatre Festival

// Free Williamsburg

Jewish Bikers for Israel

Chicky —  06/04/2013 —  Comments

chai_riders_israel

This is a thing, people. Jews on motorcycles who are in love with Israel. Mark my words, if such a niche can exist, my Jews for Jesus Converted to Jews Game of Thrones Fan Fiction Group is going to be a huge success! Can’t wait for Chai Riders to fight the Hells Angels and all their arthritic bones break to pieces.

jewish_bikers_israel

pro_isreali_bikers

//Gothamist

Good G-d people. Why has nobody seen fit to mention that the Jews are apparently taking over America?

With the election of Hipster-favorite Eric Garcetti for Los Angeles mayor last week, the trifecta is complete with Bloomberg in NY and Rahm Dahling in Chicago and now we can complete our quest for world domination.

But Garcetti is not only of Jewish heritage, he is also Hispanic-Italian. As this sweet lil article so lovingly puts it, he is a “Jew Dual Citizen Traitor”. He has, like, every swarthy gene available. Swarthiest of the swarthy. He is dripping in swarth. He is also the youngest mayor of LA in over a century. At 42, he is barely out of diapers.
mayor_eric_garcetti

But, don’t be put off by his square, vaguely Don Draper-ish jaw-line and moody beatle brows, he is just as hip as you or I (though I recently began dating someone who drives a brand new pick-up truck, so this may or may not mean that I’m out of the club). [Ed note: No, you're further down the rabbit hole than you ever intended.]

Garcetti wooed the hipster crowd effectively, so effectively, in fact, that he got his own fake Twitter handle. Which is hilarious actually.
2013-05-15-Screenshot20130515at9.57.02AM

So now politicians everywhere are beginning to realize that if they want to win an election, all they have to do is have a fundraiser with an EDM star and a guest appearance by Moby. Done and done. You got my vote. Moby always clinches my vote.

Rahm knows what’s up (And by that I mean the Hipster fuck who fake tweets for him)
t1larg.@mayoremanuel2

 

Unfortunately, Michael Bloomberg is a stuffy old man whose disdain for social media is widely known and whose fake Twitter merely mocks his inability to speak Spanish. Still hilarious.
bloom4-480x246

So to recap, we, The Jews, have taken control of both coasts and Chicago by using fake Twitters and exploiting hipsters. The End. Well done Us.

C’mon people. No need to pass judgement. This is America. The country where conservative southern Republicans, who run on ‘family values’ cheat on their multiple wives and still get re-elected or run for President. The fact is this is America, where we’re simultaneously obsessed with our politicians and celebrities’ personal lives, yet will get all in a huff due to or strangling Puritanistic ‘morality’. The worst part isn’t that we’re a country that gives second chances, it’s that we only give politicians a chance if they make a fake public apology and resign, then return a few years later.

I guess that’s what happens when we’re all a bunch of uneducated buffoons who have the collective political and historical memory of an Alzheimer’s patient who used to be a pro-football player. We deserve what we elect in our democracy, and it’s never that great.

So here’s to Jew York’s next possible philandering mayor, Anthony Weiner! Bring it on, Nate Silver.

NYC Jewish Boys

Double Sunday —  04/26/2013 —  Comments

jewish-dating-nyc

Since moving to New York City, I’ve received more dating advice than ever. “You can meet Jewish men anywhere! Walk outside and throw a rock, you’ll hit one”.

Yes, that is true. Jewish men are present in the city, but not present in my life. How do I manage to snag one for myself? This illustration is an example of my most recent attempt.

Originally posted on Double Sunday