Archives For Brooklyn


This may be the final death blow to all music everywhere. One day in the future we will say “Music, what was that? You mean the noises the iRobot Corporation makes for us so that we can pretend we live on Earth and not in our space colony?” That music.

Sure, not all of it was great. There was Nickelback. Some of it was secretly sonically delicious, like T-Swift. But atleast it was OUR music. Atleast there was heart and soul. Now, there’s only Sour Patch Kids. In a house. Tricking all of NYC into selling out.

Bands and touring musicians looking for sweet relief from their touring schedules may soon start dreaming about Sour Patch Kids.

A couple weeks ago, the Mondelez-owned candy brand opened up a house in Brooklyn where touring bands can recover from the rigors of the road. It’s called the Brooklyn Patch, and according to Mondelez marketing director Farrah Bezner, the Patch represents a long-term investment in indie music culture.

At what cost? Do you have to burn all your Pixies albums? Do you have to pledge allegiance to Generic Indie Band of the Month? Nothing in life is free, especially with shitty corporations funded by the terrible dentists. Tell me, Sour Patch ‘Kids’, WHAT ARE YOU GETTING IN RETURN?!?! Blow jobs?

Nevertheless, there is a quid pro quo associated with staying at the Patch. Artists who stay at the house are expected to create some content that Sour Patch Kids can share across a number of digital channels, which include a Brooklyn Patch-branded Tumblr as well as the brand’s Facebook, Twitter and Instagram accounts. Ms. Bezner said it is also exploring the possibility of adding further amplification partners.

Blow jobs.

“We’re a tastemaking agency,” said Alex Kirshbaum, Jesse Kirshbaum’s brother and a partner at NUE Agency. “They trust us.”

Look. Being a musician sucks. The pay is miniscule, if at all, and there’s a ton of hours on the road. But that’s why you have friends, or you meet other bands and crash at each other’s apartments. Don’t sleep at Sour Patch Manor. And definitely don’t trust people who call themselves a ‘tastemaking agency’. Those buzzwords have no place for people who are looking to create expressive, personal art.



The greatest Shabbat experience I’ve possibly ever had is back with their 7th event. Pop-Up Shabbat will be celebrating 90’s hip hop with the theme “Jew-Tang Forever.” Buy your tickets for this weekends event and get on their mailing list for future events!



Back in June, The Duckman and Double Sunday were invited to attend Pop-Up Shabbat’s 6th event, so we gladly accepted the invitation to experience Shabbat like this.

The night’s theme, Tikkun Olam (helping to perfect the world), reminds us to ask, “How we can help better the world?” Pop-Up Shabbat’s response is to provide access to organic and local foods to the community. They urged us that eating locally grown foods prepares us for a better tomorrow because we allow more room for self-sufficiency.

We met at the Ikea water taxi across the East River into Red Hook, Brooklyn. Oh lala, a perfect recipe for romance. We took a quick stroll to the converted warehouse at Pier 41. Three large decorated tables topped with framed prayer cards wooed us inside.


Friendly greetings were accompanied by apricot crostinis. We were invited to immediately begin our boozy adventure with masterly crafted cocktails. Spoiler alert: I became a gin-soaked mound of food by evening’s end.

Buzzing with excitement, people started filling in the open dining room. A two-piece jazz duo helped fill any potential awkward air between strangers meeting for an intimate homestyle dinner. We picked our own seats, and I hoped for fun dining neighbors that won’t mind my raging social anxiety. Speaking of social anxiety, the perfect elixir, wine, was freely being passed around like candy.

Our gracious hostess led the evening with a brief talk about this month’s dinner Oyganic theme. Beautiful, beautiful challah made its round (round, get it? cuz it’s round?). Pesto gruyère stuffed and traditional challah served with a strawberry rhubarb butter spread. C’mon. We quickly learned that this dinner ain’t childs play. Our chef, Sarah Schiear, is about to school us.


Then, spring pea gazpacho made with garlic scales, cucumber and mint. The presentation was stunning. These crisp and concentrated earthy colors played right into the farm-to-table theme.

Without delay, our entrees commanded their way onto our tables. Move on soup and make way for roasted carrot quinoa with smoked almond pesto. If that wasn’t enough, there was a second entree for meat-eaters: lamb shoulder roast with ramp salsa verde. Don’t think I forgot about you roasted asparagus and butter potatoes. If this dinner was a person, I would ask it for a second date. I was in love with every bite.

I wanted to eat everything the chef and her team prepared, but my breathing was becoming labored. I needed to walk and talk and get even boozier. When I come back from my rendezvous, but who did I see waiting for me on the table? Olive oil cake with rosé-soaked strawberries and lavender cream. I don’t know how to quit you dessert.


So relaxed, so full, and so boozy–I forgot that I wasn’t at home, and I cannot go lie down to “work this off”. We said our goodbyes to everyone, exchanged contact information, and gave to the tzedakah box.

Jews know tradition. The tradition of Shabbat dinner was artistically and tastefully honored at Pop-Up Shabbat by sticking to a never fail formula: good food and good people.

photos by Adam Thompson

If you’ve been anywhere near the internet the past few weeks, you would know that Banksy has been hanging out in NYC. Or this is all some elaborate prank and he’s paying a bunch of homeless people to create in his name. Either way, New York has graffiti buzz.


photo via Gothamist

One of Banksy’s recent pieces on the back of a truck ended up being the property of I and A Merchandising, run by an Orthodox Jew named Israel. Since this discovery, Israel has hidden his truck from being defaced. He also has received a many phone calls. Some asking to see the piece, others asking to buy the truck. One person offered 70K for just the back door.

My favorite part of this story has nothing to do with Israel and his truck. It has to do with the comment section of the Vos Iz Neias article on this Banksy piece. You would think that the quote:

The grumpier you are, the more assholes you meet…

would get someone to think before they post a comment about the artist or the value of art. But no. Grumpy assholes don’t care to read into anything other than their own thoughts. Especially in the comment section of a Jewish website… So although I don’t care much about Banksy, I run into moments like this where I see the genius in his work.



If you have a business idea, or live in Brooklyn, and need funding, this is probably not the website for you. Clearly the best ideas have been taken. But if you’re looking to LOL at HIPSTERS and how UNORIGINAL their originality is, then this is the perfect website. A Brooklyn Hipster Business Generator. Not gonna lie, I want a slap bracelet.


Brunch, the Hipster Meal

Chicky —  05/28/2013 —  Comments

Everyone loves brunch. You like brunch. Your mom likes brunch. Your g-ma likes brunch. Brunch is the best meal of the day, because it’s breakfast bust just a little later because you’re hungover and a lazy piece of shit. Therefore it is also the perfect meal for Hipsters.

Now you may ask yourself ‘what does this weird rap/white person video have to do with brunch and/or hipsters?’ Beats me! All I know is that the title said ‘Brooklyn’ ‘Hipster’ and ‘Brunch’, and my brain took to it like a moth to a flame. For I am a slave to title-baiting videos.

I’m just glad this is happening. If there’s one thing we need more of in this world, it’s rich white girls making fun of other rich white people. Class warfare, amiright?!?

Adam Yauch Playground

Chicky —  05/03/2013 —  Comments

NYC has renamed a playground after former Beastie Boy Adam Yauch. What does this mean? Your children can one day laugh and frolic near a sign that says ‘Adam Yauch Memorial Park’. You know what would be better, though? If the park was made to honor Adam Yauch, arguably the Beastiest Boy of the bunch. Some new attractions that the Adam Yauch Memorial Park would include:

– Replace all slides with car hoods

– Vendor selling ice cream cones in the shape of 40 ounce bottles

– A brass monkey statue

– A fountain with free children’s brass monkeys (orange juice and cola)

– Whipped cream pies (to be thrown at the squares aka the moms and dads)

– Girls

– Porn reading rooms (for the dads and the kids who are 16+)

– A Paul Revere springy horse

RIP Adam Yauch. The world says Kadesh.

Jew York. The big Jewish apple. The center of the world, both secular and Jewish (yeah I went there Jerusalem, deal with it). Presenting our final installment of our HJs @ SXSW 2013 series – Jew York City.


Marnie Stern

Self proclaimed ‘negative Jewish girlMarnie Stern is as New York as one can get. Marnie’s Stern tans formation from singer-songwriter to modern day rock and roller…well it  can be well summed up in her song ‘Transformer’.

Homegirl can kick ass. But that’s not all;

“I never want to become that bitter musician who is pissed but there is a part of me that is just like, Motherfucker! Put some effort into it!” She says. “I want to hear effort. You can tell when something has been slapped together in five minutes.”

Marnie sighs and let’s out an “Oh God” so nasal and drawn-out she sounds like Fran Drescher. “I’m very comfortable in the underdog position,” she sheepishly admits. “I don’t know how to be anything else.”

Marry me?


Fort Lean

Up and coming band from Brooklyn. The video below says it all.


Allison Weiss

Allison Weiss is a five-person band under the moniker of the 25 year old Brooklynite front-woman Allison Weiss. Her best solo credit is when she toured with Lou Reed in Europe this past summer. Listen to her indie-pop below.


The Wellspring

This folk-rock duo, comprised of  Talia Osteen and Dov Rosenblatt live in LA but were originally from NYC. Their biggest credit to date is a song that played on House, below.


Elizabeth and the Catapult

Elizabeth Ziman is the leader of this musically beautiful group. Below is a soft, sad song ‘Thank You‘, which is the perfect way to end this unpredictable winter. Winter blues, good bye and fuck off!



Michael Gerner hasn’t written a a raucous album since 2007, which is why their next album, An A.merican D.ream, coming out sometime in 2013, should be delightful and should be on your radars. Welcome to My Room, off of their 2007 work, is an indie-rock, foot stomping indie rock anthem.


Ravens and Chimes

Ravens and Chimes are a bunch of NYU grads who decided to form a band in 2005. Asher Lack, the singer, is the son of artist Stephen Lack. They’ve opened for lots of great acts, including The band Dan Deacon, Frightened Rabbit, and Sondre Lerche at SXSW 2011.


The Andy Statman Trio

The only Orthodox, Jazz group at SXSW in 2013 is The Andy Statman Trio.

Andy Statman, one of his generation’s premier mandolinists and clarinetists, thinks of his compositions and performances as “spontaneous
American-roots music and personal, prayerful hasidic music, by way of avant-garde jazz.” This modest man takes for granted that a performer
might embody several worlds in his art, and seems humbled by the fact that his music, like his story, is extraordinary.

Andy’s musical journey began early, when he was a child in Queens, not far from his current home in Flatbush, Brooklyn. Born into a family with a long line of cantors and some well-known professional musicians in the family tree, Andy grew up singing hasidic melodies in the afternoon Jewish school his parents sent him to, and listening to show tunes, klezmer, and classics – along with every other variety of music playing within earshot.

Below is Andy Statman playing the Chuppah March. Mazel tov.


Miracles of Modern Science

Miracles of Modern Science formed at Princeton, but is now resides in Brookyln. They play a lot of antique instruments. Below is an awesome video of theirs, covering She Drives Me Crazy. No idea how it doesn’t have tens of thousands of views.



Trummors are from Jew York, but they aren’t city folk. Hailing from West Saugerties, their music reflects their country lifestyle. These folks aint masquerading folksy hipsters. The real deal.

Well, do you?

I don’t.

This I discovered whence taking a quiz on da buzzfeed: Indie Rock Frontman or Random Guy in Brooklyn?. 7/14, my incredibly embarrassing score, is the sort of result that keeps people from getting into their top tier school choice.

I was demoralized.  Apparently to me, all Brooklyn hipsters look the same whether they be in a band or not. I’m ashamed. But shame excites me. So maybe I’m happy.

And if we’re really thinking about it, these “indie rock” band members are well-known enough that they are on Buzzfeed. So maybe they aren’t hipsters? Confusing.

Brooklyn hipsters

I’m pretty sure Brooklyn-ites always look like bandmates


Whatever. Let’s see how you assholes do. Then you can come at me.


My Mom keeps telling me I need to find a girlfriend. My mom keeps telling me I should drink less and go back to school and get a grad degree. All this time I kept making excuses; I was too busy, I’m trying to be a comedian, etc etc. Turns out I had the right idea, but the wrong execution. I need to blame my excessive drinking and lazier-than-shit attitude on my Hipster Lifestyle.

Via Brooklyn Vegan,

Sophia Anderson — who was in the car when ex-beau Daniel Sajewski drove his parents’ Mercedes into the home of an elderly Long Island woman — was granted “conditionally dismissed” charges in Riverhead court.

Now, she needs to stay out of trouble for six months — a task she can achieve if she avoids the borough of booze and sin, said attorney John LoTurco.

“She’s doing great . . . without the negative influences of Daniel and the allure of Brooklyn,” LoTurco said, adding that Anderson is now living safely with her mom in Connecticut.

“The allure of Brooklyn was her boyfriend’s circle of friends and the hipster lifestyle that was going on at that period of time — the drinking, the drugging,” LoTurco added.

See parents? I can be a drunk driving, spoiled fuck up! It’s totally okay. I’ll just blame it on some Hipsters, then move back into Hipster detox aka living at home somewhere in southern New England (that is a requirement, not a suggestion).

Looking at the picture above, one may correctly argue that these two are just rich preppy kids who were looking to score some molly and knew that the Brooklyn Hipster kids had it. But just think of the children! All these violent video games and drugs and Hipsters will influence them to do terrible, terrible things. I’m sure these two were perfect citizens before the entered Sin City.

I’m just glad they made it out alive. Fucking Hipsters.


Adam Sandler, we hardly knew ye. And by that, I mean we used to love you and have since pulled our hair out as you’ve slowly sold yourself to the highest bidder. We know you’re better at making movies – you did it in Funny People (even if most people complained about how long it was).

Sandler is a son of Brooklyn, so just sit back and appreciate his Sandler rendition of Hallelujah: Hurricane Sandy edition.

Make sure to donate money! Just text your credit card number to my cell phone and I’ll donate $10 for you.

Adam Sandler is the best non-frat Jewish frat boy. Maybe after this he’ll host E! The Soup?

I’m just glad to see Sandler is back to his 1998 form.