You have given us so much, how do I give back? I guess with this little bit of advice: When you shoot off fireworks, aim away from the face. Oh who am I kidding, many of you have shot giant guns and rockets. You know what to do. (This post is unintentionally sexual. So here are some photos of Bar Refaeli and Natalie Portman celebrating your birthday!)

Related posts:

1. Happy Birthday Hipster Jew!!!
2. Happy Birthday Barbra Streisand!
3. I don’t care if it’s your birthday

Hey there Israel. You keep whining that you can’t get no respect from everyone and everything. This is how you do it. Don’t be preachy about it though. Just be honest. And say ‘Yo, bros, have you seen this video? Yeah, Israel has some hotties and we allow them to dress in underwear and we don’t get angry. Technically. Sure, she doesn’t look ‘Jewish’. Not in a stereotypical way. And yeah, we’ve done some fucked up things toward Palestinians, and yeah, we’ve constantly made it our goal to ensure that they never get any legitimate power in the government. But have you seen Bar Refaeli? She’s hot. All men should respect and love Israel forever! Go team!

Related posts:

1. Tennis – Waterbirds
2. Anyone else not give a shit that MGMT is playing the Guggenheim?
3. Do you know any Jews playing SXSW?

An Israel organization, Lehava, who’s mission is to ensure that female Jews marry other male Jews, sent a letter to Bar Rafaeli stating their extreme displeasure in her relationship with shaygetz (Yiddish for male shiksa) hottie Leonardo DiCaprio. I’m no doctor but my professional opinion is that these grannies have a sever case of JMS (Jewish Mother Syndrome… (spoiler: future word of the week).

You might be thinking “Fuck off Lehava, let the girl do her shit,” but I will disagree. Bar Rafaeli fell off the Jewish path years ago. She married a guy just so that her hot body would be preserved and she wouldn’t have to join the Israeli army. She didn’t get the memo that the IDF breeds hot chick. Dating Leo, getting photo shoot after photo shoot, this girl was making it to the top.

More recently she has had some low moments. Getting some photos taken with “The Situation” might be worse than the Glenn Beck – Eric Massa interview. One step lower than being paid to have your picture with “The Situation” is paying to have your photo with Santa.

These grannies are jumping in at the right time. The girl is weak. Her career is possibly going down hill. She needs someone to coach her through this. They might not be the right people to do it, but atleast they know when to move in.

via Gawker

Related posts:

1. Jersey Shore Parties for Purim
2. Speed Dating Gone MAD

Oh Bar Refaeli…. How the mighty have fallen….

No related posts.