Archives For Anthony Weiner

weiner-truck

The food cart business just keeps on getting more and more clever and niche. Just make sure you don’t ask for a ‘Carlos Danger with Hot Sauce’ because I’m pretty sure a guy is going to hand you a hot dog, but instead of a hot dog, it’s a penis.

// gawker

Only in America is a politician judged on everything except their politics. Anytime I hear people complaining about Weiner, it’s how he cheated on his wife and therefore won’t be a moral politician – the idea is laughable. Politicians are people – people make mistakes. Last time I checked a politician should be judged on their, wait for it, public policies. If we all voted for moralists to be Moral President of the USA, I’d be all up in arms about Anthony Weiner. Is he smug? Sure. Can he be dick? Of course. But does that make him any better/worse than Bill Clinton (beloved Democrat), Newt Gingrich (2-time spousal cheater, Republican Presidential contender), or Mark Sanford (abandoned family to have an affair)? Only if you’re a ‘moralist’ ie an asshole.

I can’t say I like the way Anthony Weiner has handled parts of his campaign, but I do love how he stands up to this moralist asshole in Borough Park. And he does in typical NYC Anthony Weiner fashion.

We’ll miss you Anthony. Best of luck being a high-powered non-political rich person.

ny-post-weiner-jokes

We have been blessed for decades with hilarious tabloid headlines given to us by the NY Post. And as such an easy target as Anthony Weiner, you can assume that there have been many hilarious front page penis jokes. And you would be assuming correctly. But we almost missed out on a big one. So close. The NY Post put out a Late City Final that sucked. But the Metro Edition didn’t let us down!

weiner-nypost-covers

Anthony Weiner is an internet sexual prowler. Not content to ruining his career twice, he’s a man with an addiction and a need to prove that he’s reformed (until, ya know, the next time).

He’s smart, if by smart you mean creepy. Instead of keeping his online affairs to Facebook or Twitter, he also used….FORMSPRING?

Who uses Formspring any more, besides for 16 year old girls who need to be catty towards eachother, and/or sad lonely 16 year old boys who have crushes on previously said 16 year old girls?

Formspring Q #1:

Wanna see my weiner? No? TOO LATE.

anthony_weiner_penis

Q #2: Wanna have sex in my Chicago Condo?

Q #3: Wanna win the NYC mayoral election? Yeah? You should probably apologize then.

 

I don’t know about you, but if this is true I’m definitely voting for Weiner. Nothing I like more than a politician who knows what he wants and isn’t afraid to be overtly sexual on the internet. C’mon, it’s 2013, and some people still haven’t heard of SnapChat.

Is it weird that I’m now wondering why a couple pictures of my penis aren’t on the internet? I wonder if my Mom has any pictures of me in the bathtub as a baby….

UPDATE:

We got the first Carlos Danger campaign ad.

C’mon people. No need to pass judgement. This is America. The country where conservative southern Republicans, who run on ‘family values’ cheat on their multiple wives and still get re-elected or run for President. The fact is this is America, where we’re simultaneously obsessed with our politicians and celebrities’ personal lives, yet will get all in a huff due to or strangling Puritanistic ‘morality’. The worst part isn’t that we’re a country that gives second chances, it’s that we only give politicians a chance if they make a fake public apology and resign, then return a few years later.

I guess that’s what happens when we’re all a bunch of uneducated buffoons who have the collective political and historical memory of an Alzheimer’s patient who used to be a pro-football player. We deserve what we elect in our democracy, and it’s never that great.

So here’s to Jew York’s next possible philandering mayor, Anthony Weiner! Bring it on, Nate Silver.

anthony-weiner-gop-valentines

We learned in an interview that Anthony Weiner sexted more hawt young ladieeezzz who never outed him to the public. What does this mean? There are potential hundreds, if not millions, of racy pictures of Anthony Weiner out there in the world today (or in people’s digital trashcans) just waiting to be found. We at Hipsterjew decided to take a stab at what these texts may be about.

  • Making a BLT sandwich on his chest
  • Comparing his weiner to a ny dirty water hotdog
  • Slurping cocaine of a mannequins ass
  • He attached dic pics to every piece of legislation he voted for
  • His penis painted as the statue of liberty and/or empire state building

weiner-synagogue

Nate Silver, the gay Jewish dreamboat who — aww fuck it, if you don’t know who Nate Silver is, look him up and then promptly never return to this blog – he recently declared Anthony Weiner, who is running for NYC mayor again, as a fish dead out of water. Mostly because about half of registered NYC Democrats already hate the guy. Turns out if you are the Milhouse of an election and no one likes you, you don’t really have a chance of winning class president as mayor. Questioning Nate Silver is like question God, ie Tower of Babylon, except if you’re wrong you just look like Karl Rove.

But who knows? Maybe he’ll run as an independent, siphon off enough votes, and surprise us all.

I don’t know about you, but I’ve gotten so used to reading about Bloomberg, that it’d be nice to have a Jew in office who wasn’t afraid to admit in public that he’s a kinky freak. ‘Bout time someone represented the rest of us.

Can we atleast all agree that Nate Silver should be mayor of Jew York?

The Awl via NYTIMES

anthony-weiner-facebook
Click to slightly enlarge

Our great friend and admirer Anthony Weiner posted a wonderful photo of him, his wife Huma, and his one year old baby Jordan. The photo shows how loving the family is, and how they got over their past issues.

That’s where Lisa Weiss comes in. Many of you may remember the sexting scandal of 2011. Lisa Weiss was at the forefront of this scandal, giving interviews to anyone who would pay. Now that her money has dried up and her online relationship with Weiner is long past, she wants to make amends. Give him the ole “Hey, I kinda miss you. Glad to see you’re doing fine. I hope we can be friends still even though I fucked your career” post on facebook. It’s the path of every vindictive ex. Airing your bullshit on the public facebook wall so everyone can see. How… cute…

Ex girlfriends man… They will make sure you remember they still exist at the most awkward of times.

Anthony Weiner is considering a run for office in NYC. The New York Times and New York Post are reporting that he will possibly run for public advocate in 2013 (whatever that is) and then run for Mayor of New York in 2017. You know what this means? We will actually have funny things to write about again!

Whether you love or hate Anthony Weiner, he is a stream of comedic gold. Everything the man says or does is HILARIOUS. This website is already getting better with just the concept that Weiner might be back in the public spotlight.

But before I get your hopes up, I have to point to this Huffpo article. (Ed note: Please don’t actually read the Huffpo article. 75% of it is explaining the origin of the following quote and like most Huffpo articles it is not worth your time). When asked to respond to rumors that he was running for Mayor, Anthony Weiner responded “That’s a Clown Story, Bro.”

But being the dirty little liar that he is, I’m pretty sure this translates to “See you bitches sooner than you think!” GIGGITY!

// Tablet

WEINER SITING!

The Duckman —  04/23/2012 —  Comments

After learning that Anthony Weiner was not allowed on Air Force One, it comes no shock to me that he is forced to use the dirty, disgusting, underground passages we peons call ‘the New York Subway.’