Some Jews fleeing recession and responsibilities for Israel

Well, for 60 years young Jewish adults have been running away from their American heritage, joining Birthright, and deciding to stay in the Holy Land. Now they are moving to Israel for a practical reason: The recession.

Israel gets butt loads of cash from America. It’s why many conspiracy theorists think Jews run America. It’s easier to ignore looking at a map and seeing that little parcel of land called Israel is the only democratized state in the Middle East. Besides, everyone knows maps were made by the Jewish propagation machine.

So now Jews are cashing in, as Israel’s high-tech industries are keeping jobs and internships within the country. Fleeing to a foreign country in a time of need/want/spring break is what young collegiates have been doing for generations. Poor hipsters on food stamps, take note.

Also, since we have your attention, I’d just like to remind you about our fundraiser. If you haven’t donated to the Hipster Hunger Fund, you can do so here. Thanks.