Seinfeld-Laughing-with-Cigar

Help! A bunch of Jewish transients (or so I assume, from their clothes) have kidnapped me and forced me to write posts for their blog! I don't belong here! I deserve to be somewhere where they celebrate Christmas and have fewer arguments over who should cover what on the bill! Someone please contact the police and/or the Catholic Church! Also, read my posts, because page views are directly tied to how many times I'm allowed to use the bathroom.