After they ran Tuesday’s opinion piece about the overuse of the word “Really” in disbelief, Jerry Seinfeld wrote in to The New York Times to defend the word’s use, and specifically its regular appearance in that Weekend Update segment on SNL. And, becauseThe New York Times is happy just to get some mail these days because you never write anymore and it never hears how you’re doing and the Ethelbaum boy writes to his local paper all the time why can’t you be more like him, they printed it. Even this bit, wherein he threatens the original op-ed writer, Neil Genzlinger, with bodily harm:
What I do not say or write, as you did in the part about responses to Einstein’s theories, is “wrap my head around it.”
Are you kidding? No, no, no, Neil. No sir.
When I hear people say, “If you can wrap your head around it,” I want to wrap their heads around something, like a pole.
This Seinfeld GIF seems appropriate
Now, to be frank, it’s not hilarious. It’s New York Times-funny. This is the same paper where the pedantic scribblings of Gail Collins and Maureen Dowd’s imagining various notables of the day having conversations are considered to be high wit (Thomas Friedman is funny, but it’s all unintentional humor, like when you see a cat falling off something). But maybe this will start some new trend, where people with serious comedy writing chops write things for The New York Times and we laugh and go to somebody else, “Did you see so-and-so’s writing in The New York Times? He/She is quite a font of topical humor and a national treasure don’t you think?”
And that other person goes, “No, I don’t read newspapers anymore.”
So wrap your head around that.
Mike Niemeyer
10/04/2012
I want to write a review of contemporary Jewish Literature
My idea would be to write humorously and perhaps a bit flippantly about Jonathan Safran-Foer, Nathan Englander, Philip Roth, Saul Bellow, Cynithia Ozick, and other recognizable names to your audience.
It would be the tone of a pretend-passionate, fake literary critic.
Why, you may or may not be asking?
Because I am not much of a literary critic, though I’ve been told I’m booksmart and autistic.
So, powers that be, if in the next month you would like something that is short and sweet and hip and whatnot with books, please tell me via one of the numerous ways you can. But Facebook works great for me! I seem to be as annoying as possible on there! (Isn’t that part of your charm?)
Now, I have non-professional work to do!
–Michael Joseph Niemeyer, a Seller of Self as Anyone Else!
Mike Niemeyer
10/04/2012
Also, this was good commentary about commentary. And the gif works as grammar for internet writing. Anyway, why am I critiquing it?
Damn that ironic mustache symbol!
“Did you see so-and-so’s writing in The New York Times? He/She is quite a font of topical humor and a national treasure don’t you think?”
And that other person goes, “No, I don’t read newspapers anymore.”
So wrap your head around that.”
I love that depiction of the American public! That’s what you were going for, right?
Thomas Friedman once had this happen to him: