Portlandia – Artisanal Movie Theater Popcorn

Chicky —  02/18/2013 —  Comments

Your weekly Portlandia clip update. In this one, we discuss how pricey movie concession stands are, and how unhealthy the options are. Seriously. No one goes to movies to pay for over-priced popcorn. That’s stupid. If you’re smart, you’ll sneak in your own food. Sure you could go to one of those fancy hip theaters where they play artsy films and you can eat dinner and drink beer. But don’t be an asshole. Being ALLOWED to eat dinner and drink alcohol ruins half the fun. My friends and I used to compete to see what we could sneak into our local second-run theater, because nothing says ‘a good Sunday’ like Nicholas Cage on a moderately large screen and a box of Oreos.

Here are the best things we snuck in:

– 2 bananas and a loaf of bread
– a plate of nachos, with the plate
– a 18 rack of beer
– a large pizza
– half a watermelon
– a box of cereal and a quarter gallon of milk

THAT’s how you make the movie theater an enjoyable experience. It also helps if you treat the entire theater like it’s mystery science theater 3000.

Chicky

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Co-Owner/Editor of Hipsterjew.com. Comedian. Collector of souls. Sometimes my mom comments on my posts. See if you can figure out which one she is! (Hint: The one who tells me be to nicer and worries about my well-being.) Follow @chickywink