Many of us (read: Americans) are lead to believe that Israelis are in a constant state of fear. The fear can range from terrorism to irritable bowls. But all we know is that they are in constant fear of something and always need to be helped by the great and powerful United States. Recently the Ultra Orthodox party, Shas, decided to strike fear to anyone who cares about… Shiksas?
Because I don’t know Hebrew after 10 years of Orthodox Day School, Times of Israel was nice enough to translate what’s going on.
Groom: “Marina, what is the fax for?”
Bride: “Beytenu sent it, a wedding present.”
Groom: “How nice of him. But what the hell — a fax?”
Bride: “To receive permission.”
Groom: “Permission for what?”
Bride: “From 1-800-convert”
Bride: “Da, you call 1-800-convert and receive permission.”
Groom: “Wait, you are’t Jewish?”
Bride (brandishing a freshly issued “certificate of conversion”): “I am now!”
I think this is a two part-er on the scare tactics being used by Shas.
- Russian women will steal your nice Jewish boys. Ironically these Russian women will also be voting for Shas’s opponent Beytenu
- Beytenu will make everyone and anyone Jewish just so they can steal your nice Jewish boys
We have a new war in Israel. The war on Shiksas. I think we must stand up for the Shiksas right to be used as human ‘practice’ and ignore these fear tactics. Long live the Shiksa!
In all seriousness, or at least as serious as I can get, Shas is creating a fear that an elected Beytenu would accept Jews who do not live up to their standards of conversion. How high are these standards? Pretty damn high. If you’re not one of them, you’re not Jewish, which has put a strain on many converts we know trying to move to Israel. Converts who live a more Modern Orthodox lifestyle. It also puts a strain on ANYONE who tries to make aliyah. Good job guys. Looks like America isn’t the only place that uses racism and immigration to scare voters.
Assholes exist everywhere. And many of them are in politics.