Are you a lonely loser like The Duckman? Do you not have any friends? Are you a LOSER? If so, Wes Anderson is here to keep you being forever sad and alone. But that doesn’t mean V-Day isn’t the perfect day to let all that self loathing, hatred, and life disappointments. And after you’ve watched the Wes Anderson collection, cried through Rushmore, giggled hysterically through The Royal Tenenbaums, and “meh’d” your way through The Life Aquatic, you can send these Valentines at 2am to all those exes you have. You know, the ones you say you don’t pay attention to on Facebook, but you do. We all know you do.

Wes Anderson Valentines: For the sad Hipster.

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//thisisnthappiness

I got a chance to sit down with Tommy Siegel, guitarist and vocalist for Jukebox the Ghost, before he went to go play an excellent show in Charlottesville, VA. Tommy answered the following questions whilst sipping green tea. (Edited for Clarity.)

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Tommy and I just ‘kickin’ it’.

AL: What projects have you been working on recently?

TS: Musically? Um, well I’ve got another band in New York that’s called Drunken Sufis, and that’s a political conspiracy punk band. And I guess I shouldn’t have even said I’m in the band, we all have alter egos that are in that band. That’s a lot of fun – we’re about to come out with our fourth record in April called “The Drone Wars”. We’re very excited about it; we just filmed a music video for it. We rented a U-Haul and bought a bunch of pig organs and it’s gonna be good.”

AL: Who is your alter ego?

TS: My alter ego is George W. Crotch. That’s just a lot of fun – it’s the total opposite of Jukebox the Ghost, musically, vibe, message, everything’s just the exact opposite so I get to use both parts of my creative brain.

AL: I saw that you’ve also been doing a few solo things recently…

TS: Me and friend have a label, my friend Ryan who is in a band called Tereu Tereu, we started a label about a year ago. So far we’ve only put out one release but we did a one year birthday bash just to kind of showcase some people that we’re putting out this year. And, uh, yeah I played one of those shows. It was fun. I put together a really temporary band of some guys from the Drunken Sufis and Jesse from Jukebox the Ghost and it was sort of just a one time random solo show. It was fun.

AL: You guys have always been really accessible to your fans and now you’ve added this whole Instagram aspect and you guys are really active on twitter. How has the social media aspect changed since you first started being a band?

TS: Well, twitter didn’t really matter when our band started so I mean, it’s funny how quickly these things change. The thing that mattered when our band was starting was Myspace. So, I remember in college every single day I would go on and add whatever you do…you would add followers?

AL: Friends? Was that it?

TS: I don’t remember if it was friends, I guess it was friends? But I would go through an add people cause it would get you more plays. And I wish I could go back in time and tell myself to stop. Cause I wasted so much time, it probably didn’t do anything in the long run. But at the time it was like ‘You got 50 plays yesterday we’ve gotta keep uppin those plays!’ So I think all this stuff is going to seem pretty stupid in hindsight but uh twitter and Instagram for me are kind of just fun. Instagram – I post drawings I do and twitter I just get to be a weirdo. And I don’t post that stuff on the band account, I post that on my personal account, it’s just fun.

AL: How have your political messages been going on twitter? Do you lose followers?

TS: I lose followers sometimes, I gain followers sometimes. It’s a total grab bag. There was actually a fan last night at one of our shows…and I was doing…you know how people do Harry Potter fan fiction? So I was doing like, Republican sex fan fiction of like famous Republican presidential candidates and a fan at last night’s show gave me a notebook – it was a Twilight notebook that she had filled with my GOP fan fiction tweets. Handwritten. I was very impressed.

AL: So speaking of all the weird stuff that you do, you have been doodling for a while?

TS: Well, until I was about 14 I thought I was going to be a cartoonist. Like, that was all I did – I drew comic strips in the school newspaper and did comic books on my own and started playing music – I would still doodle but I didn’t draw seriously that much. And then I just started doing more and more artwork for the band. All of our t-shirts I designed and our logo and all that stuff. I don’t know, I think I was really bored in the van one day and I came up with the idea of requesting drawing ideas via twitter. Then I would draw people and post the picture of it. And then that just snowballed into a lot.

AL: I know a while ago you tweeted that you were reading the Book of Mormon and you had funny things that popped up, well I’m sure they weren’t funny they were also moderately disturbing. So, first thing, why did you decide to start reading?

TS: Well, I was in Utah, so I was like “When in Rome”! So I was in Utah and I didn’t read the whole Book of Mormon…It’s really long. But I read a pretty big bulk of it. I don’t actually remember how much but yeah anyways…

AL: So now we’re on to the Jewish questions. What’s your favorite Jewish food?

TS: Food? Oh man I can’t even pick. The thing is I have a big soft spot for my Grandmother’s amazing matzoh ball soup. It’s got dill in it, it’s just so good. And um, I love latkes. Those would probably be my top two. But I’ve got a soft spot for gefilte fish. I like it. Some people hate it but I like it.

AL: I haven’t tried it ever but I have started to really like seltzer, and egg creams and lox. I feel like if I tried gefilte fish now…

TS: You’re there. People think it’s going to be really disgusting, but really it’s incredibly bland.

AL: What do you put on it?

TS: You just put it on whatever. Like toast, or you know, matzoh, whatever, lettuce.

AL: Did you guys ever have like big Jewish family gatherings or just like small events?

TS: Yeah, we do a funny thing where the Jewish side of my family actually gets together on Christmas and do Jewish Christmas. So, it’s the time that works for everybody whether it’s work scheduling and all that kind of stuff. You know, we do like sort of secular versions of Christmas traditions. We make cookies, but if it’s like Santa Claus cookie design the goal is to reinterpret it. So, it can be whoever. Saddam Hussein, it doesn’t matter. You make something out of a cookie.

AL: Maybe you’ll photo-document that this year. I’ll have to be on the lookout. So Richmond doesn’t have a big of a Jewish population. How did you fit into that role?

TS: Well, it’s very small so it was actually very strange for me to move to the Northeast and actually realize that in Richmond I didn’t quite experience the traditional East Coast Jewish experience. Cause I went to a Sunday school where everyone was from mixed marriages and just a totally different vibe. My Sunday school class was like…there were like eight of us.

AL: GW (George Washington University) must have been a shock…

TS: Yeah, no, it was. It really was. I grew up thinking I was pretty Jewish. I was bar mitzvah-ed and Hebrew schooled and all that stuff. My Dad was like the President of the Jewish Federation in Richmond and super involved so we were always super involved in that stuff. Then I went to college and I was like “I’m not as Jewish as these people I’m meeting”. Like I’m just not.

AL: Okay so this is the last question for you. How do you feel about your home district being represented by everyone’s favorite Jew, Eric Cantor?

TS: Um, the disgust that I feel can’t be put into words. I find him…he’s the worst.

AL: He comes to Hillel at UVA and I just wanna, so frustrating. He represents nothing I like about Judaism.

TS: He doesn’t represent Judaism period. I don’t think Jewish people in Richmond vote for him. So, I don’t know, not a fan.

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Kesha aka Ke$ha has admitted to drinking her own pee. According to TMZ, Ke$ha was told that drinking pee is good for you. So when a friend tried to take her urine (please don’t ask why she was holding her own urine) she grabbed it and took a gulp. She drank her own urine… Ke$ha…

At this point we can only assume why she drank her own piss. Is she releasing a new single “We R What We P” with R. Kelly? Is this a way for her to show up to the VMA’s wrapped in toilet paper with a toilet seat around her neck so people will still respect her? No idea. But we do know Ke$ha drank her own piss. Which is absolutely stupid.

If you have any younger siblings who like Ke$ha, please make sure they are not drinking their own urine.

Joseph Gordon-Levitt went on Sesame Street this week to teach us about the word reinforce. And he did a great job reinforcing my love for him. The Boy Wonder just stole 1 million more hearts. Girls love guys that can work with kids or muppets. How do you think Chicky gets any girl to talk to him?

A recent poll by Jewish dating site Jewcier said that only 25% of their members would choose Joseph G-L for be their Valentine over any other Jewish guy. Some how Adam Levine is first, and I will never understand why. If you want over-all talent, a winning personality, and good looks, JGL wins every time. The men on the site also chose Bar Refaeli…God knows for what reason. Are you guys really into those types? You know, the ones that look hot but don’t seem to have any personality besides looking hot? I mean, what are you going to say to Bar Refaeli if you went on a date with her? “I loved your Sports Illustrated cover. I still have a copy. I look at it when I’m sitting on the toilet. So…what’s Leonardo like?”

If the Devil gave you the option to celebrate Valentines day or go blind for the rest of your life, who would you pick as your Valentine?

Which guy would you go out on a date with

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A YACHT Mini-doc

Chicky —  02/13/2013 —  Comments

YACHT came out with a mini-doc about the cult symbols they use in their music videos and songs. If you haven’t heard Yacht, you should, especially Psychic City, the song below. They angered many occultists and had to make it clear that they’re not crazy. Although I can’t blame them. The video is ridiculous.

YACHT has played SXSW in the past, but will not be playing SXSW 2013.


//Stereogum

I don’t understand this video. I don’t think Gary Busey understands it either. I don’t think he understands how the internet works. But golly darnit, watch him try!

Is Gary Busey the video version of Wikipedia?
Do you also wish Busey would narrate your favorite childhood book?
Are you grateful Busey isn’t your psychiatrist?

In his honor I have written a haiku for Mr. Busey. I hope he enjoys it.

 

Gary Busey ha!

You sure say some crazy things.

Drugs are bad, Mkay?

//BoingBoing

Something I never thought I would see happening. But Jews are only a week late to the Harlem Shake meme! For those not aware of the Harlem Shake meme (not to be confused with the Harlem Shake dance) currently circulating around offices and facebook pages, let me explain. The meme consists of one person dancing on camera to “Harlem Shake” by Baauer while everyone else is acting normal. When the beat drops, the video switches over to everyone dancing. Often in costumes. Make sense?

Here is the unofficial Yeshiva University Harlem Shake:

Not bad guys. I have to say, this is the best meme contribution I’ve seen from the Jews in awhile. Please don’t get me started on Gangnam style. The people who made Gangnam style parody videos 6 months late make me sick. But I think this is where it should stop. We’ve already seen this one. It was done well enough. Let’s not go crazy and ruin another meme. Please. Keep it short. Keep it simple. If you have to make a Harlem Shake video, please use as many old people as possible. Old people are funny.

Oh god… I can already picture the Purim videos… the Hassidic videos… someone is going to try to be cool and call it the Boro Park Shake… oh No! Please! Stop!… And then Sukkot will come around and someone is going to mention the Lulav Shake NOOOOOOOO the Humanity!

We will never be this good so please, just stop while we’re ahead.

Silverman-Israel-arrestedRabbi Susan Silverman and her daughter Hallel were arrested at the Western Wall after they refused to remove their prayer shawls. For those of you asking yourself how dumb this sounds, yes, it is very dumb. But welcome to a world where the Ultra Orthodox dictate what you can and can not do. Some of those things that are not allowed include women praying out loud and women wearing a prayer shawl. This apparently bothers religious men and women because Jews can’t mind their own business. I mean did you hear about Rabbi Susan Silverman getting arrested at the Kotel? What would her father say? (I’m actually positive he’s one of proudest parents in the world right now, but I’m trying to illustrate an old Jewish stereotype so please go along with it.)

 

The Silverman family is an activist family. I can only hope that one day Chicky gets arrested for public nudity, and I get banned from a Walmart for tripping fat people. Activism at its finest!

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As we come up to Valentines Day, Fox’s Animation Domination has us covered for the awkward love moments we love. The Simpsons decided to spoof two things we all probably love a little too much: Woody Allen and British Rom-Coms.

I’m no expert in British Rom-Coms but I did love the small Woody Allen moments sprinkled around the plot I could not follow. In other words, you missed nothing but a bunch of one liners from this Simpsons episode. I’d tel lyou your favorite Woody Allen movie was spoofed in this episode, but honestly, all Woody Allen films look the same to me. Is that anti-semitic to say?

Here’s a clip featuring Zooey Deschanel as Bart’s on and off again Girlfriend, Mary Spunckler, and a Woody Allen Caricature.

It’s Black History month, which is why Totally Biased with Kamau Bell decided to profile black Hipsters. Not that there are any differences between hipsters when it comes to the color of their skin. 2 things matter: If they do or do not have a trust fund, and if they have a Bachelor’s of Fine Arts degree. Taking us for this hipstery ride is a great Hipster comedian himself, the talented Reggie Watts. Gilda Radner.

It’s alright for you to like Portlandia, and to like the ‘Put a Bird on It’ sketch. I think MLK Jr could agree. Or at the very least Jesus would have something to say on the matter.

I don’t know what I’m saying. I just wish I had a black Hipster friend. Like the other night I saw a guy at a bar who had a flat top haircut and I couldn’t help but think about Fresh Prince of Bel Air and how I wish I could go back in time and make friends with Will Smith before he was famous and then maybe I could have a small speaking role on I Am Legend. Or I guess be that guy’s friend, but it seems fairly shallow to befriend someone based on their haircut.

I’m so lonely.