Something I never thought I would see happening. But Jews are only a week late to the Harlem Shake meme! For those not aware of the Harlem Shake meme (not to be confused with the Harlem Shake dance) currently circulating around offices and facebook pages, let me explain. The meme consists of one person dancing on camera to “Harlem Shake” by Baauer while everyone else is acting normal. When the beat drops, the video switches over to everyone dancing. Often in costumes. Make sense?

Here is the unofficial Yeshiva University Harlem Shake:

Not bad guys. I have to say, this is the best meme contribution I’ve seen from the Jews in awhile. Please don’t get me started on Gangnam style. The people who made Gangnam style parody videos 6 months late make me sick. But I think this is where it should stop. We’ve already seen this one. It was done well enough. Let’s not go crazy and ruin another meme. Please. Keep it short. Keep it simple. If you have to make a Harlem Shake video, please use as many old people as possible. Old people are funny.

Oh god… I can already picture the Purim videos… the Hassidic videos… someone is going to try to be cool and call it the Boro Park Shake… oh No! Please! Stop!… And then Sukkot will come around and someone is going to mention the Lulav Shake NOOOOOOOO the Humanity!

We will never be this good so please, just stop while we’re ahead.

Silverman-Israel-arrestedRabbi Susan Silverman and her daughter Hallel were arrested at the Western Wall after they refused to remove their prayer shawls. For those of you asking yourself how dumb this sounds, yes, it is very dumb. But welcome to a world where the Ultra Orthodox dictate what you can and can not do. Some of those things that are not allowed include women praying out loud and women wearing a prayer shawl. This apparently bothers religious men and women because Jews can’t mind their own business. I mean did you hear about Rabbi Susan Silverman getting arrested at the Kotel? What would her father say? (I’m actually positive he’s one of proudest parents in the world right now, but I’m trying to illustrate an old Jewish stereotype so please go along with it.)

 

The Silverman family is an activist family. I can only hope that one day Chicky gets arrested for public nudity, and I get banned from a Walmart for tripping fat people. Activism at its finest!

woody-allen-simpsons

As we come up to Valentines Day, Fox’s Animation Domination has us covered for the awkward love moments we love. The Simpsons decided to spoof two things we all probably love a little too much: Woody Allen and British Rom-Coms.

I’m no expert in British Rom-Coms but I did love the small Woody Allen moments sprinkled around the plot I could not follow. In other words, you missed nothing but a bunch of one liners from this Simpsons episode. I’d tel lyou your favorite Woody Allen movie was spoofed in this episode, but honestly, all Woody Allen films look the same to me. Is that anti-semitic to say?

Here’s a clip featuring Zooey Deschanel as Bart’s on and off again Girlfriend, Mary Spunckler, and a Woody Allen Caricature.

It’s Black History month, which is why Totally Biased with Kamau Bell decided to profile black Hipsters. Not that there are any differences between hipsters when it comes to the color of their skin. 2 things matter: If they do or do not have a trust fund, and if they have a Bachelor’s of Fine Arts degree. Taking us for this hipstery ride is a great Hipster comedian himself, the talented Reggie Watts. Gilda Radner.

It’s alright for you to like Portlandia, and to like the ‘Put a Bird on It’ sketch. I think MLK Jr could agree. Or at the very least Jesus would have something to say on the matter.

I don’t know what I’m saying. I just wish I had a black Hipster friend. Like the other night I saw a guy at a bar who had a flat top haircut and I couldn’t help but think about Fresh Prince of Bel Air and how I wish I could go back in time and make friends with Will Smith before he was famous and then maybe I could have a small speaking role on I Am Legend. Or I guess be that guy’s friend, but it seems fairly shallow to befriend someone based on their haircut.

I’m so lonely.

unpretentiousil-unpretentious

Hallelujah! Praise the lord himself, Charles Bukowski. There is a cure for Hipsters. There is a cure. DID YOU HEAR ME? WE CAN BE SAVED!

Hyper
Involuntary
Panic
Stress
Tension
Elevation
Response

Disorder

There’s a new drug on the market called ‘Unpretentiousil’, made with 50 mg of Dedouchefin, and it will cure all your had hipster tendencies.

Haven’t you always wanted to be a boring person who follows popular culture, listens to musicians that win Grammys, and watch sports as a hobby? This is your chance to become the cultural sheep you’ve always wanted.

Now available in 3 flavors: PBR, Natty lite (huh?), and soy.

Thank you scientists for saving us. We wouldn’t know what to do without you.

Netflix ruins date night

Chicky —  02/08/2013 —  Comments

Ever been on Netflix with a hottie and you’re trying to decide what to watch? Then, while scrolling through their ‘suggestions’, you realize that you gave your account info to your weird unemployed brother who has watched everything, including Thankskilling, Leprechaun 5: In The Hood, and all the Sharktapus Vs. movies? And then she’s all like ‘ew you’re not sophisticated, where’s all the Woody Allen and Wes Anderson that we had discussed on the way over here’?

Yeah. Well this clip from UCB shows how badly Netflix can fuck you over. It’s what you get for being cheap and not taking her out to a nice movie in a nice theater.

Phil Spector was a Billboard Top-100 producing powerhouse. He produced The Beatles’ Let It Be. He produced Plastic Ono Band, Lennon’s Imagine, Leonard Cohen’s Death of a Ladies’ Man, and Ramones’ End of the Century. But that all came to an end, when in 2009 (Wikipedia spoiler alert!) he was sentenced to 19 years for murdering actress Lana Clarkson.

Al Pacino is gonna kill in this role. (Pun attended.)

phil-spector-headWhat a fucking Jewfro.

//BrooklynVegan

Oh Lizzy Caplan. Jewish girls wanna be you. Jewish dudes wanna do you. It’s the circle of Jewish celebrity life.

In this Zoey Deschanel and/or Hipster fashionista mock-commercial, Caplan talks about who she is, the obscure things she loves, etc etc. She discusses vinyl records, old cameras, type writers, blogs, DJing – everything your friends who listen to Toro Y Moi and Bon Iver on repeat love.

I’m almost sad that this is a fashion commercial making fun of commercials, but it’s so fucking good I can’t help but love it.

Lizzy Caplan. You funny Shebro. Do my clothe shopping for me please?

The glorious time of year is officially among us again. Soon, we will be swamped with chocolates shaped like roses, huge fluffy stuff animals, and Groupons to swanky restaurants we normally can’t afford. 

Some dislike this holiday for reasons against consumerism, and forced romance, etc, but don’t fall into that snare. Any form of celebration is an excuse for a young hipster to drink profane amounts.  You have an excuse to get drunk. Take it.

Hipster Valentine

If the typical dinner/date is too mainstream for you there are always alternate options:

1. Galentine’s Day or Bro-entine Day-  Get with your ladies or gents  (or ladies and gents) and treat yourselves.

2. Valetine’s Day- Get employed with a buddy as a valet at a fancy restaurant on Valentine’s Day. Take all the money from your proceeds and buy an ung-dly amount of liquor. Proceed to party on.

3. Puppy/Kitty Party!- Go to an animal shelter and hang out with some cute puppies or kittens. Strays are also acceptable. Or your own beautiful animal puppies. But it’s good to see a different puppy face every once in a while.

4. CRAFT! When sad about your lack of love life: always listen to vinyls and knit. For some reason feeling like an old lady often makes one feel oddly better about their situation.

5. Organize a drunken Valentine’s Day-themed bingo game with your friends. Why not?

With these five options for fun how can you go wrong?

 

 

Admit it.

When you were in in your pre-college years,those cold and dark days when you chipped away at your fingernails and dyed a streak in the underbits of your angsty mane:

you TOTALLY went into your Green Day poster-covered room…

jumped on your race car bed…

and angrily shoved From Under the Cork Tree into your CD player or walkman.

Don’t act like you didn’t jam out to “Dance, Dance” in your best friend’s car on trips to the mall. Because you went to the mall. And you thought it was fun. Don’t lie to yourself.

Fall Out Boy

 

And you probably bought this poster there. At Spencer’s

I bring this up because Fall Out Boy has recently presented the world with a new album the kids call “Save Rock and Roll.”

“Woohoo!”, you think to yourself, looking over your shoulder to make sure no one saw you show any joy about such a silly pop punk band. “But I thought they broke up?”

Well you’d be a fool to think that. Pete, Patrick, Andy, and Joe have stated that they never actually broke up, they just you know stopped working together to instead produce solo music. LIke they weren’t in a band together per se, but they still made music.. But like, separately.

Whatever. the point is,  all I really want is that we get to be nostalgic about this really horrible but also catchy band with the advent of their new album.

Let us rejoice.