Kesha-pee-tweet

Kesha aka Ke$ha has admitted to drinking her own pee. According to TMZ, Ke$ha was told that drinking pee is good for you. So when a friend tried to take her urine (please don’t ask why she was holding her own urine) she grabbed it and took a gulp. She drank her own urine… Ke$ha…

At this point we can only assume why she drank her own piss. Is she releasing a new single “We R What We P” with R. Kelly? Is this a way for her to show up to the VMA’s wrapped in toilet paper with a toilet seat around her neck so people will still respect her? No idea. But we do know Ke$ha drank her own piss. Which is absolutely stupid.

If you have any younger siblings who like Ke$ha, please make sure they are not drinking their own urine.

Joseph Gordon-Levitt went on Sesame Street this week to teach us about the word reinforce. And he did a great job reinforcing my love for him. The Boy Wonder just stole 1 million more hearts. Girls love guys that can work with kids or muppets. How do you think Chicky gets any girl to talk to him?

A recent poll by Jewish dating site Jewcier said that only 25% of their members would choose Joseph G-L for be their Valentine over any other Jewish guy. Some how Adam Levine is first, and I will never understand why. If you want over-all talent, a winning personality, and good looks, JGL wins every time. The men on the site also chose Bar Refaeli…God knows for what reason. Are you guys really into those types? You know, the ones that look hot but don’t seem to have any personality besides looking hot? I mean, what are you going to say to Bar Refaeli if you went on a date with her? “I loved your Sports Illustrated cover. I still have a copy. I look at it when I’m sitting on the toilet. So…what’s Leonardo like?”

If the Devil gave you the option to celebrate Valentines day or go blind for the rest of your life, who would you pick as your Valentine?

Which guy would you go out on a date with

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A YACHT Mini-doc

Chicky —  02/13/2013 —  Comments

YACHT came out with a mini-doc about the cult symbols they use in their music videos and songs. If you haven’t heard Yacht, you should, especially Psychic City, the song below. They angered many occultists and had to make it clear that they’re not crazy. Although I can’t blame them. The video is ridiculous.

YACHT has played SXSW in the past, but will not be playing SXSW 2013.


//Stereogum

I don’t understand this video. I don’t think Gary Busey understands it either. I don’t think he understands how the internet works. But golly darnit, watch him try!

Is Gary Busey the video version of Wikipedia?
Do you also wish Busey would narrate your favorite childhood book?
Are you grateful Busey isn’t your psychiatrist?

In his honor I have written a haiku for Mr. Busey. I hope he enjoys it.

 

Gary Busey ha!

You sure say some crazy things.

Drugs are bad, Mkay?

//BoingBoing

Something I never thought I would see happening. But Jews are only a week late to the Harlem Shake meme! For those not aware of the Harlem Shake meme (not to be confused with the Harlem Shake dance) currently circulating around offices and facebook pages, let me explain. The meme consists of one person dancing on camera to “Harlem Shake” by Baauer while everyone else is acting normal. When the beat drops, the video switches over to everyone dancing. Often in costumes. Make sense?

Here is the unofficial Yeshiva University Harlem Shake:

Not bad guys. I have to say, this is the best meme contribution I’ve seen from the Jews in awhile. Please don’t get me started on Gangnam style. The people who made Gangnam style parody videos 6 months late make me sick. But I think this is where it should stop. We’ve already seen this one. It was done well enough. Let’s not go crazy and ruin another meme. Please. Keep it short. Keep it simple. If you have to make a Harlem Shake video, please use as many old people as possible. Old people are funny.

Oh god… I can already picture the Purim videos… the Hassidic videos… someone is going to try to be cool and call it the Boro Park Shake… oh No! Please! Stop!… And then Sukkot will come around and someone is going to mention the Lulav Shake NOOOOOOOO the Humanity!

We will never be this good so please, just stop while we’re ahead.

Silverman-Israel-arrestedRabbi Susan Silverman and her daughter Hallel were arrested at the Western Wall after they refused to remove their prayer shawls. For those of you asking yourself how dumb this sounds, yes, it is very dumb. But welcome to a world where the Ultra Orthodox dictate what you can and can not do. Some of those things that are not allowed include women praying out loud and women wearing a prayer shawl. This apparently bothers religious men and women because Jews can’t mind their own business. I mean did you hear about Rabbi Susan Silverman getting arrested at the Kotel? What would her father say? (I’m actually positive he’s one of proudest parents in the world right now, but I’m trying to illustrate an old Jewish stereotype so please go along with it.)

 

The Silverman family is an activist family. I can only hope that one day Chicky gets arrested for public nudity, and I get banned from a Walmart for tripping fat people. Activism at its finest!

woody-allen-simpsons

As we come up to Valentines Day, Fox’s Animation Domination has us covered for the awkward love moments we love. The Simpsons decided to spoof two things we all probably love a little too much: Woody Allen and British Rom-Coms.

I’m no expert in British Rom-Coms but I did love the small Woody Allen moments sprinkled around the plot I could not follow. In other words, you missed nothing but a bunch of one liners from this Simpsons episode. I’d tel lyou your favorite Woody Allen movie was spoofed in this episode, but honestly, all Woody Allen films look the same to me. Is that anti-semitic to say?

Here’s a clip featuring Zooey Deschanel as Bart’s on and off again Girlfriend, Mary Spunckler, and a Woody Allen Caricature.

It’s Black History month, which is why Totally Biased with Kamau Bell decided to profile black Hipsters. Not that there are any differences between hipsters when it comes to the color of their skin. 2 things matter: If they do or do not have a trust fund, and if they have a Bachelor’s of Fine Arts degree. Taking us for this hipstery ride is a great Hipster comedian himself, the talented Reggie Watts. Gilda Radner.

It’s alright for you to like Portlandia, and to like the ‘Put a Bird on It’ sketch. I think MLK Jr could agree. Or at the very least Jesus would have something to say on the matter.

I don’t know what I’m saying. I just wish I had a black Hipster friend. Like the other night I saw a guy at a bar who had a flat top haircut and I couldn’t help but think about Fresh Prince of Bel Air and how I wish I could go back in time and make friends with Will Smith before he was famous and then maybe I could have a small speaking role on I Am Legend. Or I guess be that guy’s friend, but it seems fairly shallow to befriend someone based on their haircut.

I’m so lonely.

unpretentiousil-unpretentious

Hallelujah! Praise the lord himself, Charles Bukowski. There is a cure for Hipsters. There is a cure. DID YOU HEAR ME? WE CAN BE SAVED!

Hyper
Involuntary
Panic
Stress
Tension
Elevation
Response

Disorder

There’s a new drug on the market called ‘Unpretentiousil’, made with 50 mg of Dedouchefin, and it will cure all your had hipster tendencies.

Haven’t you always wanted to be a boring person who follows popular culture, listens to musicians that win Grammys, and watch sports as a hobby? This is your chance to become the cultural sheep you’ve always wanted.

Now available in 3 flavors: PBR, Natty lite (huh?), and soy.

Thank you scientists for saving us. We wouldn’t know what to do without you.

Netflix ruins date night

Chicky —  02/08/2013 —  Comments

Ever been on Netflix with a hottie and you’re trying to decide what to watch? Then, while scrolling through their ‘suggestions’, you realize that you gave your account info to your weird unemployed brother who has watched everything, including Thankskilling, Leprechaun 5: In The Hood, and all the Sharktapus Vs. movies? And then she’s all like ‘ew you’re not sophisticated, where’s all the Woody Allen and Wes Anderson that we had discussed on the way over here’?

Yeah. Well this clip from UCB shows how badly Netflix can fuck you over. It’s what you get for being cheap and not taking her out to a nice movie in a nice theater.