My twatter feed taught me 3 pretty valuable lessons today.

  1. Haaretz has a “This Day in Jewish History” section. That’s pretty exciting.
  2. Betty Friedan came out with the Feminine Mystique on February 19th
  3. There is no 3, but 2 valuable lessons sounds much less imposing.

On February 19, 1963 Betty Friedan published a book entitled the Feminine Mystique, a title which plays on the postwar idea that a woman’s role was in the home.  With classic lesbian zest and vigor, she sought to debunk the theory that higher education was making ladies realllll cranky-like.

Woman doing Housework

I just love making sandwiches.

This book is important to Jews because its another example of one of The People being smart and publishing books and stuff.

This book is important to Hipster Jews because lady rights are important. A lot of hipsters are ladies. A lot of hipsters like to fight gender norms. Everyone’s happy.

So mazel tov, Betty, even if it’s a little late. Thanks for being the voice of a generation. And not being Lena Dunham.

I don’t like Purim. I haven’t liked Purim since the first grade when my teacher took away my handcuffs and never gave them back. But recently I’ve learned something. While Purim in America blows, Purim in Israel is the greatest thing ever. Sure we have Purim parties in the States, but every single one is more lame than the next. And often they are filled with 40 year olds going through midlife crisis and some issues with their wives, and they are hammered. They are creeping on everyone on the dance floor. It’s a gross mess. But in Israel, everyone is hot. And everyone celebrates Purim. It’s like Halloween, but you can do the walk of shame and still feel okay because everyone is still dressed up even the next morning. It’s like Christmas, but instead of fruit cake and presents, we have hamentaschens and baskets of food.

Just look at all of these photos I found from Israel. Purim doesn’t even start until Saturday Night.
balloons

hamentaschen-purim

purim-nerd

purim-friends

purim-fireworks

purim-fairy

purim-baskets

oldman-purim

israel-purim

idf-purim

New Orleans has Mardi Gras.
New York has the Gay Pride Parade.
Boston has St. Patrick’s Day.
Israel has Purim.

adam_goldberg vine

Adam Goldberg, Jewish movie actor beloved for his role as The Hebrew Hammer, has taken a shining to the new iPhone app from Twitter called Vine. Have you used Vine yet? It’s like taking a GIF and turning it into a tweet. It’s fun, and stupid. You can see some of the stupid Vine videos I took here.

Adam Goldberg, however, is God’s gift to Vine. He is the reason I haven’t completely quit it, like I have 4square, pretty much Facebook, and all of TUMBLR.

Adam has taken 6 seconds of boredom and turned it into pure comedy and horror gold. Twitter should be very impressed, and Vine should make him their celebrity spokesperson.




Remember – it isn’t easy to tell a story in 6 seconds – especially when you have to start over if you fuck up badly. This is only a small number of the videos that Goldberg has already made. Some are several 6-second videos that work together to create one whole story. But if you have an hour or so to waste, I suggest you follow Goldberg and check out the many ingenious little Vine vids that he has already posted.

//Short Interview @ Blackbookmag

harlem-shake-wiki
(click to enlarge… if only it were that easy…)

Sometimes I hate the internet (I’m looking at you, memes that don’t know how to die aka Harlem Shake and Gangnam Style). Sometimes I love the internet (I’m looking at you pictures of puppies). But I have to say that I laughed way too hard at this random Wikipedia guy. Now is the Harlem Shake officially dead?

While shamelessly searching for a gluten-free hamentaschen recipe meant for Marijuana enhancement, I happened upon a bit of an argument online regarding the common practice of weed-smoking on this most ridiculous of Jewish holidays, Purim. These two articles detail why exactly it is verboden to burn it down on Purim, our most flamboyant and drunken holiday. Except for Tu B’Shevat: I go so hard on Tu B’Shevat.
PotSmokingGranny

Miriam goes this hard EVERY DAMN DAY

So pot smoking leads to gluttony (duh) and also makes you horny (or tired) which leads to lustfulness which is a no-no, it could also lead to potentially being a brat to your mom or dad, which is a commandment, I think. The biggest and lamest reason is that it is illegal in the U.S. making it illegal for Jews who always obey the laws of our country of residence. Feh.

This isn’t Pesach, where we (theoretically) deny ourselves bread, this isn’t Yom Kippur where we go around apologizing to people we fucking hate have wronged and starving ourselves for a whole day. This is Purim, where you only have to remember the Holocaust (Yom Ha’Shoa) if you want. Nobody is standing over your shoulder enforcing sadness. They are standing over your shoulder refilling your solo cup.

So I guess pot is prohibited like tattoos are prohibited? Just don’t tell ya mutha, unless she is my mutha in which case she will roll you one, yo. HIPPIEPARENTSFTW

I am not the same person I once was.

Before 4:13 today, I was a carefree young girl, head not exploded, years of joy ahead of me. That was before 4:13 when my roommate showed clips of the first pilot on 30 Rock. With Rachel Dratch. The lovely, hilarious Rachel Dratch.

That’s a bunch of lovely ladies together being funny. But what happened to Rachel Dratch?

I have a deep nausea in my heart, and stomach, and oddly my toes.

Many moons ago, when 30 Rock was simply a pilot, the character of Jenna Maroney played by Jane Krakowski was Jenna DeCarlo played by Rachel Dratch. Jenna is a great character and Jane is a super hilarious comedian.  I don’t know what the show would be like without her or if I would love it as much.

Furthermore,  the Jenna DeCarlo pilot made me ponder my morality and importance to the world. If it’s so easy for TV shows to replace a character and change the entire tv show, how can I be sure my identity is real? Or something like that.

tina fey rachel dratch

Ladies, you have broken my heart.

I feel abandoned by Tina, Rachel, my 3rd grade teacher, everyone.

And then  I remember that I’m stressing about a comedy series and drastically need to reevaluate my life. But therapy takes up so much time.

That took a dark turn.

 

PS: Thanks Chloe, Tuesdays were made for self-analyzing and garbage day.

Haim – Falling

Chicky —  02/20/2013 —  Comments

Another new Haim song, this time on BBC 1. They’re blowing up, big time. They’re on the cover of NME (anyone still read that?), opening for Mumford and Sons, and have topped the BBCs bands of 2013 poll. Can’t wait for their debut album sometime this year. These sisters are gonna get famous – not Hanson famous, but famous enough where they each date someone from different famous bands. I’m thinking Beach House, Deer Tick, and that Jewish dude from fun. the band. Either way 2013 is looking like another good year for indie music and Hipster Jew musicians. Now Available on iTunes!

Update:
Official music video


//MyOldKentuckyBlog

blossom mayim bialik

In a recent Kveller post, Mayim Bialik [aka Blossom, aka Amy Farrah Fowler (from The Big Bang Theory)] discusses a recent Purim related incident with her children concerning her and her soon to be ex husband.

To summarize this post: Mayim’s family has always had a family themed Purim outfit. Even with the pending divorce, her two boys still want to do a family-related Purim outfit.

As cute as this may be, her kids are pulling off the most perfect Jewish version of the Parent Trap or Mrs. Doubtfire, or some other crappy, 90s family-related movie done by the Olsen Twins or Lindsay Lohan. It’s obvious that the kids are just trying to get their parents back together. Totally 90’s!

Let’s call this movie ‘Purim Parents’. Let’s start a Jewcer campaign. Let’s cast the kids from Modern Family. It’ll be a blast!

Who need’s Portland to re-live the 90’s when we have the walking legend Mayim Bialik?

// h/t Felipe Casadei

Are you having one of those days?

Are you having a good day but still want to have a solid giggle?

Do you like giggling? How much do you like it? Like a weird amount? Or a normal amount? What do you consider a normal amount of giggling? Discuss among yourselves.

Then watch this:

And begin the giggling process.

 

 

 

xx Happy birthday Jon

When I was 12/13 years old, I loved hip-hop. More specifically, I loved Outkast’s So Fresh, So Clean, P Diddy’s Bad Boys for Life, and DMX’s Rough Rider’s Anthem. Just all-around 90s radio-playing rap. I was also really into sports. Pretty much a typical 12 year old Jewish boy.

I think I get this video. Daniel’s parent have a lot of money just kickin’ around, his college fund is already at maximum capacity. Daniel watched Rebecca Black’s videos a hundred times, and he was inspired.

I’m not gonna lie, the video is better than anything I’ve ever produced. His lines are better than anything I’ve written. But did he come up with this on his own? I need details, damnit, and I wont be happy until I do.

Okay, now that we’ve moved past the video, can we talk about how spoiled the next generation of Jewish teens are? When I was growing up I had my oldest brother’s original Game Boy. I didn’t have a TV in my room. Fuck, I barely had dial up internet (Free Juno internet which kicked you off every hour. I would use it to enter AOL chatrooms, which is even sadder, but then I got booted for scrolling – like a 10 year old knows what the fuck scrolling is). I certainly didn’t get a months-worth of rent in NYC to produce a music video (a great music video, with a great song choice at that). Most of the money I received from my Bar Mitzvah was used to PAY for the Bar Mitzvah.

But kids these days – and yes they are kids; and will be until they’re like 45 if they continue to get coddled this much – are so fucking spoiled. I bet this kid owns 3 Gameboy DS’s, A Wii, hell he probably called me a ‘cock sucking faggot’ on Call of Duty the other day. All I’m saying is that I don’t want to be around when the generation that made a professional-style music video for their Bar Mitzvah INVITE is in charge of the world.

//Tabletmag