blossom mayim bialik

In a recent Kveller post, Mayim Bialik [aka Blossom, aka Amy Farrah Fowler (from The Big Bang Theory)] discusses a recent Purim related incident with her children concerning her and her soon to be ex husband.

To summarize this post: Mayim’s family has always had a family themed Purim outfit. Even with the pending divorce, her two boys still want to do a family-related Purim outfit.

As cute as this may be, her kids are pulling off the most perfect Jewish version of the Parent Trap or Mrs. Doubtfire, or some other crappy, 90s family-related movie done by the Olsen Twins or Lindsay Lohan. It’s obvious that the kids are just trying to get their parents back together. Totally 90’s!

Let’s call this movie ‘Purim Parents’. Let’s start a Jewcer campaign. Let’s cast the kids from Modern Family. It’ll be a blast!

Who need’s Portland to re-live the 90’s when we have the walking legend Mayim Bialik?

// h/t Felipe Casadei

Are you having one of those days?

Are you having a good day but still want to have a solid giggle?

Do you like giggling? How much do you like it? Like a weird amount? Or a normal amount? What do you consider a normal amount of giggling? Discuss among yourselves.

Then watch this:

And begin the giggling process.

 

 

 

xx Happy birthday Jon

When I was 12/13 years old, I loved hip-hop. More specifically, I loved Outkast’s So Fresh, So Clean, P Diddy’s Bad Boys for Life, and DMX’s Rough Rider’s Anthem. Just all-around 90s radio-playing rap. I was also really into sports. Pretty much a typical 12 year old Jewish boy.

I think I get this video. Daniel’s parent have a lot of money just kickin’ around, his college fund is already at maximum capacity. Daniel watched Rebecca Black’s videos a hundred times, and he was inspired.

I’m not gonna lie, the video is better than anything I’ve ever produced. His lines are better than anything I’ve written. But did he come up with this on his own? I need details, damnit, and I wont be happy until I do.

Okay, now that we’ve moved past the video, can we talk about how spoiled the next generation of Jewish teens are? When I was growing up I had my oldest brother’s original Game Boy. I didn’t have a TV in my room. Fuck, I barely had dial up internet (Free Juno internet which kicked you off every hour. I would use it to enter AOL chatrooms, which is even sadder, but then I got booted for scrolling – like a 10 year old knows what the fuck scrolling is). I certainly didn’t get a months-worth of rent in NYC to produce a music video (a great music video, with a great song choice at that). Most of the money I received from my Bar Mitzvah was used to PAY for the Bar Mitzvah.

But kids these days – and yes they are kids; and will be until they’re like 45 if they continue to get coddled this much – are so fucking spoiled. I bet this kid owns 3 Gameboy DS’s, A Wii, hell he probably called me a ‘cock sucking faggot’ on Call of Duty the other day. All I’m saying is that I don’t want to be around when the generation that made a professional-style music video for their Bar Mitzvah INVITE is in charge of the world.

//Tabletmag

okc jew kissoff

okc jew rebuttal

DATING BLOWS.

I’m not sure why I’m posting this. I don’t truly care. But I figured maybe someone out there does. Someone who likes Vampire Weekend. And Ezra Koenig.
It turns out if you’re a famous musician and know the right people you can get cameos on culturally relevant tv shows. Keep up the good work of staying relevant, Ezra.

If you actually read this post, I probably hate you a little more than before, FYI.

RIP Harlem Shake

The Duckman —  02/19/2013 —  Comments

grumpy-cat-hates-harlem-shake

The Harlem Shake is done. Over. Move on. How do I know? For one, it’s been two weeks since the meme first started. Two weeks is a long time in internet speak. There is no ONE person who we can keep looking at, or ONE video we can keep watching like the world did while obsessing over Gangnam Style.

Another clue that it’s dead are the Harlem Shake articles like this that show up in Jewish publications. First off I’d like to say I am the “pop culture guru” that said Jews were not slow to pick up on the Harlem Shake like past memes. I mean, I’m not officially any source, but I am the first one to say it (Writer’s note: That’s so hipster of me). I also said that the meme had to stop. Now this was a week ago. And people are STILL posting videos about doing the Harlem Shake.

STaaaahP IT

If you’re thinking about making a new Harlem Shake video, or posting one to your Facebook, make sure it’s in black and white, and you upload it via a dialup connection, or by snail mail. Seriously. It’s over.

// I’d just like to say thank you to the Jerusalem Post for kind of quoting me but not sourcing me.

Bubala Please, our favorite Jewish gangsters have outdone themselves this time. In their 4th episode, and currently my favorite episode, we are treated to a Purim Rap – We Doin’ Purim (feat. Smooth-E). This episode is so good it rivals the best Hanukkah rap to ever exist. My favorite part has to be the rewrite of the Purim story to fit a more modern/gangster storyline. Queen Ester not putting out to get her way. Mordechai telling Haman to suck his dick. The return of the word Jewgina to my dictionary. It’s perfect.

Your weekly Portlandia clip update. In this one, we discuss how pricey movie concession stands are, and how unhealthy the options are. Seriously. No one goes to movies to pay for over-priced popcorn. That’s stupid. If you’re smart, you’ll sneak in your own food. Sure you could go to one of those fancy hip theaters where they play artsy films and you can eat dinner and drink beer. But don’t be an asshole. Being ALLOWED to eat dinner and drink alcohol ruins half the fun. My friends and I used to compete to see what we could sneak into our local second-run theater, because nothing says ‘a good Sunday’ like Nicholas Cage on a moderately large screen and a box of Oreos.

Here are the best things we snuck in:

– 2 bananas and a loaf of bread
– a plate of nachos, with the plate
– a 18 rack of beer
– a large pizza
– half a watermelon
– a box of cereal and a quarter gallon of milk

THAT’s how you make the movie theater an enjoyable experience. It also helps if you treat the entire theater like it’s mystery science theater 3000.

idf-instagram

A 20-year-old Israel Defense Force (IDF) sniper was caught posting a terrible photo to his personal Instagram. The photo shows a young Palestinian boy in the cross hairs of a sniper. While this soldier claims he didn’t take the photo, we can all pretty much assume he did. Which leads us to another IDF PR screw up.

Now this is in no way the IDF’s fault, unless they ban phone use by all soldiers. If anything this speaks to how dumb our generation is when it comes to the internet. In what world does one think that posting a photo (w/ lens) of a young boy in cross hairs is a good idea? When will people learn that their every move is being watched by someone? You are not anonymous. Your dumb shit will come back to haunt you. Get off the internet. Get off social media. Stop doing dumb shit. Call your friends for once instead of liking their Facebook status for fucks sake.

And get off my lawn!

//Guardian

A-Trak, the DJing younger brother of Dave 1 from Chromeo, is becoming a big deal in the EDM world. He’s starting a Youtube channel with Diplo and Skrrrlllllolx, presumably to play some tunes and remix old, classic tunes. Also, because he is everywhere, Fat Jew will also be involved. The Youtube channel is called Potato Will Eat You., probably because molly and cocaine and stuff.

A-Trak isn’t done yet! Like his brother Dave 1, A-Trak is a fashion connoisseur. And he’s taking his personal history and knowledge of traveling and style and bringing it to the internet, with a new website called Infinite Legroom. For the person who has wealth, travels, and is probably kind of a dick.

A-Trak didn’t set out to become a suitcase connoisseur. But when you spend more time in hotels and airports than at your own apartment, traveling at ease becomes a necessity. Doing so in style becomes your objective.

Infinite Legroom presented by A-Trak is your new resource for a migrant lifestyle. Travel, filtered through a tasteful lens, for whether you’re trapped in a terminal in Tokyo, flying to France, packing for Perth or lost in Louisville. This is a site that understands you, and your packing needs. It is for those who know there is such a thing as a stylish toiletry case. And that boutique, doesn’t just mean a store. That comfort on the plane is important, but still does not excuse sweat pants. And that choosing where to eat in a new city is an essential “tourist” activity.

E’rrry day you’re hustlin’.