An Open Letter to Red Sox Nation

Dear Red Sox Nation,

You guys need to calm the fuck down. An 0-4 start is nothing to get suicidal over. (or ovah, if you prefer).

Tito Francona’s head doesn’t need to be served on a platter, though it might need to be examined since he panicked like a true Bostonian after two losses and batted Carl Crawford seventh.

I’m calling for a collective chilling out of Red Sox Nation. You need to relax. Stop listening to the Dropkick Murphys and try something a little more laid back.

Baseball is not football, the aggressiveness and the collective hand wringing over four games (2.4% of the season) is not the sign of a people who have things in perspective.

I hope you will look to your fearless president, the honorable Gerald “Rem Dawg” Remy and think positive. How does a record of 158-4 sound?

Also, I’m not sure if you guys are aware, but after two Sox victories in the World Series, one NBA championship for the Celtics and 3 Superbowl wins for the Patriots that your entire supply of goodwill and sympathy are gone. There are also 161 million other reasons why you are not the lovable underdogs of 2004.

So take your lumps and STFU.

Sincerly,

The Coach.

PS Kudos on maintaining that stache for 30+ years.