Moonrise Kingdom finally made its way to my nestled mountain hellhole retreat in Burlington, Vermont. It only took about a month to make it here, to a liberal artsy town filled with people who would make love to Wes Anderson if given the chance. I know I would. But before I continue, I’m throwing down a possible-spoiler alert. I don’t know what I’m gonna say, but you may not want to hear it.
While I waited anxiously for Moonrise Kingdom to come, I heard and read so many annoyingly positive reviews. “It was like the most Wes-Andersonny movie that Wes Anderson has ever made.” “I hear Wes Anderson influenced HIMSELF in the making of this movie.” Of course my initial response was, “Oh, BULLshit!” And of course I was wrong.
It was FUCKING AMAZING. So good I’m gonna see it again.
Where to begin? It’s a cinematic masterpiece. Visually breathtaking. It brings back all those wonderful feelings of childhood. The summer days spent outdoors. The Boy Scouts. Those days spent indoors reading and playing boardgames while it rained. The movie itself was so nontraditionally funny, in a classic Wes Anderson way. See? I already want to make love to him.
Every character in the movie was glorious. Bill Murray put out a performance with nuanced elegance. Bruce Willis was great. Edward Norton was phenomenal as a nice, kind-hearted Troop leader. And Jason Schwartzman had a wonderful minor role. Oh yeah, and Tilda Swinton was incredible. AND Frances McDormand…you get the point. Everyone was amazing. Everything was amazing. It was a beautiful blooming love story. Everyone won. And no one died. Horay!
I could gush on and on about how good this movie was, but I’d rather just watch it again!
I’d give it 5 Wes Andersons, but since we don’t deal in Wes Andersonian currency, I give this movie 5 out of 5 Big Lebowskis.
*This review was mediocre and was not Wes Anderson approved.*
skipow
06/25/2012
I noticed you referred to Vermont as “hellhole”. is it super cool to put down people’s homes and communities?
Chicky
06/25/2012
‘Twas some good-natured ironic deprecation. I love Vermont. Now breathe.
skipow
06/26/2012
hey it’s cool. i just deprecated all over your mom’s face.
Chicky
06/26/2012
No, you’re looking for the word ‘defecated’. But way to go against the stereotype of Vermonters being kind, rational people. Every stereotype needs detractors.
skipow
06/26/2012
“defecate” twasn’t ironic enough.
…and that passive aggressive “now breathe” doesn’t earn anybody a ‘kind and rationale’ response.
Chicky
06/27/2012
I just wish this site got more trolls; your indignation just bores me. If you seriously got offended, just stop reading.
skipow
06/27/2012
It’s cool, go on with your narcissist rants man. Don’t want to bore you.
You’re totally entitled to say whatever you want and not be challenged.
Dave
06/28/2012
I don’t know that you’re so much “challeng[ing]” Charles as you are “taking his joke like a bitch.” This is from a Vermonter who aggressively loves Vermont. Plus, “now breathe” is actually a fairly appropriate response to your breathless overreaction. Finally, in what alternate universe is your escalation from “hey man, it’s a real bummer when you insult people’s communities” to “I just pooped on your mom’s face” somehow more civil behavior than Charles’ jokingly referring to Vermont as a hellhole? You have beclowned yourself and are an embarrassment to our great state. Good day sir.
skipow
06/28/2012
what a good bystander you are
Dave
06/28/2012
I SAID GOOD DAY.
ohio guy
07/07/2012
An observation from a non-hipster Heeb:
Did you notice how the two major jewish actors were portrayed? Bob Balaban, narrator, was dressed as an Xmas elf. And Jason Schwartzman as Ben was a “priest.”
PS: I liked it quite a bit and am not suggesting anything with the above, other than an observation.
Chicky
07/09/2012
Hadn’t considered that, but duly noted.
abe
07/18/2012
Dear Chicky
I liked the movie, i didn’t like the children touching each other though.
Yours truly.