Ed note: I know most of you don’t know how to read. But we wrote another post on this. Thanks for proving everything Chicky wrote to be correct.
There is a moderately-sized article in the NYTimes about ‘downhill skateboarding’, code for longboarding. The article talks about how west coast towns who initially embraced longboarding have come to the general conclusion that the rest of America has realized: Longboarders are pricks.
After defining skateboarding terms for their 70+ year old readership, and confusing the more anti-establishment and mainstream ‘Tony Hawk’ skateboarding with this bastardized version, the NYTimes gets to the heart of the issue.
But residents say the boarders’ growing ranks have made driving a harrowing undertaking, rife with worries about hitting young skaters and legal liability. Because boarders are considered pedestrians under state law, they are not subject to speed limits; almost any collision with a vehicle is considered the driver’s fault. (nytimes)
This is the part where I rant about all the dickheaded longboarders in Burlington Vermont.
I hate longboarders. They are mostly privileged white UVM students. They board down main roads without helmets. They can’t slow down or stop because longboards suck, and they shoot through red lights on the reg. They swerve like motherfuckers. They think they own the fucking road and sidewalks. They truly believe that their alternative form of transportation is the least bit interesting. Unicycles are more interesting. Longboards are for douchebags who try to impress random stupid college girls. For people who love their shitty jam band music.
I wish Burlington banned all Longboarders and longboarder accessories.
This picture reaks of ‘worthless subcullture’
doesnt matter
04/05/2011
how can u call urself a hipster if u dont own a pintail beach cruiser…better yet how can u call urself a jew without trying to knock on the prices of longboards, n yes we get pussy, wen have u ever ??
who?
04/05/2011
I agree with you on the 1st half, but why do ya have to go knocking on the jews just bc this dbag puts in a bad name. Not cool on your half and Screw you jew boy. You’re just jealous that you can stand on a board without bustin your ass
Bleh
04/05/2011
You’re the dumbest mother fucker on the planet. Someone should smash you in the face with a longboard and knock the idiocy out of you. A hipster Jew? Yea how about a dumb fuck? Hipsters are little pussies…
IronyOnRye
04/05/2011
U mad?
zerohero
01/21/2012
longboards are less tecnical so to tell the truth u failing on one means u dont get pussy
Optimist
04/05/2011
Wow way to be so down on things in the world, why not instead of sitting on your computer in the dark bitching about things you can’t do get out and give it a try you dump ignorant bastard
Matt Pare
04/05/2011
Hello,
I am an avid longboarder and enjoy the sport very much, I understand your points on the subject and agree that a very large “care free” sub culture has emerged out of it, but to classify all longboarders as pricks is nieve and the reason that our society is so fucked up as it currently is. These stereotypes do nothing but evil, we all have our passions and I would respect it if you respected mine.
Sincerly,
A law abiding longboarder.
LBNY
04/05/2011
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Long-Board-NY/109225923901?ref=ts We like your vibe, keep spreading the stoke!
Kris H.
04/05/2011
If you weren’t jewish then I’d swear you were related to Santa Claus. Only he knows everyone and if they’re naughty or nice, or wearing a helmet. So, since I’m sure you aren’t realted, how do you know “They are mostly privileged white UVM students. They board down main roads without helmets. They can’t slow down or stop because longboards suck, and they shoot through red lights on the reg. They swerve like motherfuckers. They think they own the fucking road and sidewalks. They truly believe that their alternative form of transportation is the least bit interesting.”, and “Longboards are for douchebags who try to impress random stupid college girls. For people who love their shitty jam band music.” ? hat’s a lot of people to account for nationwide, don’t you think?
You’re just ignorant talk and I guarantee you wouldn’t have the nuts to say this face to face with anyone. You couldn’t talk like that about anything if you didn’t have the safety of the internet and a screen name to hide behind. Do some research before you make an ass of yourself, hipsterjew.
LBNY
04/05/2011
We like the way you think! Spread the stoke! http://www.facebook.com/pages/Long-Board-NY/109225923901?ref=ts
Fuck You
04/05/2011
You are honestly ignorant. Longboarding is skateboarding. Longboarders can stop (look up “Coleman slide” for a basic version of the way longboarders stop at speed…there are countless variations), and the speedboard culture especially embraces not only helmets, but slide gloves, pads, and safety in general. Just because a bunch of douche bags longboard doesn’t mean that longboarders as a whole are represented by them. That would be akin to me assuming that all Jews are as uppity, ignorant, and blatantly annoying as you are. That sounds awful right?
Let me give you counter example to your “facts”:
“They are mostly privileged white…”
“They can’t slow down or stop because longboards suck”
Kyle Chin (Asian) slowing down and stopping: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kkviQ41u0eQ
“They truly believe that their alternative form of transportation is the least bit interesting. ”
Tell me this in uninteresting: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0KmHqeETJhs
Again, you are basing your plainly stupid argument on biased facts. The average downhill skater has more skill, more courage, and will live a more interesting life than you could possibly imagine. You have reinforced the “douche bag hipster” stereotype one hundred fold. Fuck you.
jew-boarder
04/05/2011
Funny – I thought with all the prejudice and stereotypes us Jews experience we might try and be a little more careful about categorizing global community and then hating on them.
You might also be a little more careful about what you say about longboarders – liable to get your ass chopped down by a slide – ya know, because we can’t stop or anything.
Loosen the skinny jeans hipster – small as those balls you have are, they’re clearly constricted.
Get bent.
tru
04/05/2011
You are totally right. Do you know what kicks ass? Sitting on the internet bitching about ways people entertain themselves. Next time I’m out skating, or just enjoying myself I’m going to stop having a good time to worry about what everybody else is doing to make myself a miserable prick. I’m gonna sell all my gear and buy up some hosting and start myself a little hipster blog so I can complain to the world about EVERY FUCKING THING POSSIBLE!! Hopefully I’ll find somebody who will give me sympathy and attention, my parents ignored me and hated me too dude. Get over yourself.
ya
04/05/2011
your a fucking cunt you know that right? if your just a skater hating on longboarding then get a fuckin life faggot. fuckin hater
Hurrrr
04/05/2011
Don’t confuse stupid college frat bros with the rest of us. The -real- longboarding community puts a strong focus on safety (ESPECIALLY helmets), as well as courteous and respectful behavior.
Zach
04/05/2011
Youre an idiot. I longboard, use a helmet, slide gloves and knee pads. Correction, I freeride and speedboard on a longboard. Like those this article was written about. Get the dick out of your ass and learn something.
longbrader
04/05/2011
i thought ur name said hitler<3<3 jew. but anyhow, no matter whut u say, we are still gonna skate. so maybe use that breath and write another crummy blog about shit that u may actually be able to change. but hey, thanks for letting us longboarders live rent free in ur head when we wont think of u after reading this! enjoy the headache!
smoke a joint and chill the fuck out =)
longboarder
shredder
04/05/2011
I long board too and love it, but I think the point of this article was to get a rise out of people more than it was to be a dickface. And it worked. It’s kind of funny how many people replied. Instead of out doing what you enjoy (longboarding or maybe just getting high), you are at home, responding to a blog about how dumb it is to blog about this topic. Ironic?
The Duckman
04/05/2011
Gold Star Comment
Kris H.
04/05/2011
Soooo, who’s side are you on?
shredder
04/05/2011
your mom’s
Shylock Hairystein
04/05/2011
The ish-Jew longboard magazine: http://www.wheelbasemag.com
ta mere
04/05/2011
I WOULD HONESTLY LOVE TO SHOW YOU WHAT LONGBOARDING IS ACTUALLY ABOUT … cause youre a fucking douche bag.
do some research. “uvm” isnt longboarding. fun is longboarding.
Shylock Hairystein
04/05/2011
We suck huge pricks @ http://www.wheelbasemag.com
Hipster Jew
04/05/2011
We approve this shameless self promotion.
ImmaKillYA
04/05/2011
Hey hipster Jew, step into my shower…
Fuckin FAGGOT! DIE
hazed u dont matter
04/05/2011
your fucked in the head.
There is a moderately-sized article in the NYTimes about ‘downhill skateboarding’, code for longboarding. The article talks about how west coast towns who initially embraced longboarding have come to the general conclusion that the rest of America has realized: Longboarders are pricks. -
-not everyone of us are pricks. thats like saying all black people steal.
you prejudice mother fucker.
After defining skateboarding terms for their 70+ year old readership, and confusing the more anti-establishment and mainstream ‘Tony Hawk’ skateboarding with this bastardized version
-what the fuck does that have to do with longboarding? first of all, thats skateboarding, park none the less. second, thats a video game….
the NYTimes gets to the heart of the issue.
- i really dont see an issue with people having fun, so what we use the same roads? I take it you were the kid in preschool that wouldnt let anyone else play with your g.i. joe ‘action figure’/doll. no one liked you then and no one now?
But residents say the boarders’ growing ranks have made driving a harrowing undertaking,
-HAHAHAHA thats a laugh, no one knows how to drive in the first place!
rife with worries about hitting young skaters and legal liability.
- if a longboarder hit your car, theres probably good reason to it, like how assholes who seem to hate longboarders swerve towards us, or throw shit at us, or slow/stop deliberately if front of us.( yes that has happend. more frequently then you would think.
Because boarders are considered pedestrians under state law, they are not subject to speed limits;
-only times when we are really speeding are the times that the pavement brings us down a hill. so take that up with the city of your choice about road placement. im sure they would be happy to hear another bitch on her period.
almost any collision with a vehicle is considered the driver’s fault. (nytimes)
- to avoid that, get what happened looked into, might help. you never know, longboarders are human, we tend to make mistakes. if your fat ass is in the way then god so help us.
This is the part where I rant about all the dickheaded longboarders in Burlington Vermont.
- im sure they got good reason to be dickheads, like stunt cunts like you pissing them off all the time! let people live their lives – even though yours is so miserable doesnt mean you have to shit on everything.
I hate longboarders.
- Longboarders hate you
- They are mostly privileged white UVM students.how are they privileged? because they are students? because they know how to have fun?
They board down main roads without helmets.
- thats their problem if they want to die, the rest of us are smart, and do wear proper equipment.
They can’t slow down or stop because longboards suck,
-well thats not true, we slide (yes the slide is controlled, dont get ur panties all twisted up) to a stop, or use the good old foot breaking
and they shoot through red lights on the reg.
-if were going fast, then yes we may skip a light or a stop sign but ONLY if we know its safe – if it isnt we will come to a stop.
They swerve like motherfuckers.HAHAHAHAHAHA THAT SERIOUSLY MADE MY DAY. need i really explain why?
They think they own the fucking road and sidewalks.
-no the city ( of choice ) owns them, we just make good use of the public property.
They truly believe that their alternative form of transportation is the least bit interesting.
-no we think its the greatest bit interesting. what makes a car so interesting? that you can go fast? or that (quote from a website )”you are more likely to die wearing a helmet while DRIVING A CAR opposed to longboarding with no helmet.” makes sense, doesnt it? you hate your life that much? wow.
Unicycles are more interesting.
- yeah if your stuck in the 90s or work at a carnival. even then, if unicycles were made for going down hills and all the stuff that longboarders do, you would hate them too wouldnt you?
Longboards are for douchebags who try to impress random stupid college girls.
-i dont go to college, and im not trying to impress anyone. then get impressed automatically.
For people who love their shitty jam band music.
- lol go to silverfish and check out the off topic music section. then you will really see what we listen to. just because were in the same sport, doesnt mean we all like the same music. your probably just mad because it isnt your shitty little pop music. sorry longboarders do not listen to justin beiber and eminem like the rest of the world. we tend to be different.
I wish Burlington banned all Longboarders and longboarder accessories.
I Wish Burlington banned you.
kunii
04/05/2011
I applaud you.
Brilliant.
LBNY
04/05/2011
We wish Burlington would ban him too… http://www.facebook.com/pages/Long-Board-NY/109225923901
kunii
04/05/2011
I’m a longboarder, and as much as you hate us, I LOVE it! But there’s no use in trying to describe what makes it such an amazing sport and workout to you; you’d just find a way to spin my words into how your point of view is correct. But all I’d rather tell you foremost is that I laughed so HARD at what you had to say because you are completely ignorant of the subject of your rant. And that’s all it is! Is a RANT! There’s no theoretical argumentative point that you have made other than longboarders are college dicks who only want pussy… are you just jealous, or what? And, I’m sorry… if you’re longboarding/bombing hills without a helmet, then yeah, you’re a fucking retard. You could die longboarding (but sorry, you don’t care, that’s right). You just judge your campus wayyyy too much for the nation full of people who are embracing this sport. Yes, some of them are embracing it in the wrong way, but even though we “blow through red lights”, and “can’t stop cause longboards suck”, there are actually multiple methods of stopping if there is the possible collision of a car and we do remember to look both ways before crossing intersections.
Oh, and it makes me laugh even harder that you think only boys participate in this sport ;)
I’m a college girl who loves me some pussy but I’m not doing it for that haha. I’m longboarding for MYSELF: for the way it makes me feel! It’s about as amazing as an orgasm, IF NOT BETTER, so even if I don’t get laid for riding my stupid little board around as a “form of transportation”, at least I still get an amazing thrill from the speed and wind from this sport. Stop playing World of Warcraft and take up a hobby. That’s what the rest of the world has seemed to have done… you’re just pissed that we roll in packs and you don’t even have two friends to call up on a friday night.
LBNY
04/05/2011
…KAAAAPOW! http://www.facebook.com/pages/Long-Board-NY/109225923901
J
04/05/2011
Douchebag
PS – Yep, frat boys cruising around on pintails are fucking lame. But that’s not what was banned in Laguna.
Josh
04/05/2011
A few things:
1. I really felt a lot of you made persuasive arguments when employing insults like “faggot.” Way to go guys, that’s a wicked original and clever way to disagree with Hipsterjew… Wait… For those of you tossing hate words around, how can you harp on someone else for their beliefs when you’re obviously a bigoted dickhead? For those of you trying to make valid points without inciting hateterms, good job, for the rest of you, go suck a dick, you homophobic pricks.
2. This site is social satire. Stop taking it so fucking seriously. It’s meant to be humorous and over the top. It’s opinion. Deal with it.
3. I think it’s funny you’re talking about people “hiding in dark rooms” behind their computers when YOU’RE sitting on YOUR computer posting anonymously. Now you just look like dickheads, AND hypocrits.
For those of you making valid points and carrying on a dialogue, right on. For those of you throwing around slurs, click off the site.
Andy
04/05/2011
Yeah, I’m not getting how using words like “faggot” gels with the “good-vibe” culture of longboarding. Mellow out and stop hating.
Whit Pol
04/05/2011
I really don’t get fuckheads like you, there are some in my class… its really sad…
Bitchassmotherfucker
04/05/2011
Go fuck yourself
Jake K
04/05/2011
@ CHICKY
Dude wtf, thats not true, please stop being naive. Longboarding is a great sport.
@ CHICKY haters
As upsetting as it is, hating won’t help the situation and won’t make us look any better.
POLI
04/05/2011
HAHAHA…Longboarders can be pricks….Wait everyone can? Oh yeah Human’s are assholes and most go about their daily SHITASTIC lifves without paying any attention to their surroundings. But as an avid Longboarder/Skateboarder/Biker/Snowboarder and SKier….Really Skateboarding+Tony Hawk does not= anti-establishment…That Kat sold out so hard HE has tony hawk rollerblades! Anyway those of you who shred whatever board you do, Pay attention and be a little respectful and we won’t have to deal with C student Philosophy majors…
Battle Pope
04/05/2011
So… are you marginally or profoundly retarded?
If your cognitive faculties are intact, your ignorance astounds me. Do some research.
average longboarder
04/05/2011
HAVE A NICE DAY SIR ! ! ! ! ! !
Spicoli
04/05/2011
Its pretty obvious that you have absolutely no idea what Downhill Skateboarding is. The majority of riders I know have deep roots in street skating (including myself), most probably better than you. So your ‘longboarders are pricks’ thing doesn’t really hold up seeing as how they all started in the same place you are currently in, the difference is they are just better people all around.
It’s a rare occasion for me to post in response on an internet forum or bad mouth anyone/anything publicly so it comes with great satisfaction to say:
GET FUCKED YOU IGNORANT UNEDUCATED DICK SUCK.
Yes, yes I did just call you a dick suck. Deal with it.
Yours truly,
-Some guy who actually skates.
Anti-Hipster
04/05/2011
I think the faggot hipster/jew who wrote this article raises a valid point…
Hipsters and fake ”subculture” wannabe skater rich whiteboys in Burlington are annoying… Ive been… and skated there… and completely understand your point.
The dudes just cruising are fine so long as they’re like snowboarders getting around or something… but if you see a kid pushing mongo on a carver then I’d say go ahead and aim for him.
Being a Downhill skater though I think you have the completely wrong idea about whats going on in Malibu…
Because Downhill skating is full of regular guys and its fucking sweet.
Get your facts straight because now you’re an even bigger deuscher than the hipsters you hate…
someoneyoupissedoff
04/05/2011
you have no idea what you are talking about dbag i found myself found myself laughing at you article and your site. those guys your talking about are poser longboarders and you have no idea what this sport is actually like. so shut the f*** up
Shylock Hairystein
04/05/2011
I’m a total longerboarder and I use my prickly-pear to hump this website: http://www.wheelbasemag.com
Anti-Hipster
04/05/2011
whos we you attention wanting hipster?
youre blog boys?
derpman
04/05/2011
The stupid longboarders that don’t wear helmets aren’t usually in the scene and know much about the longboard culture. Much like hipster longboarders. Don’t say every fucking longboarder is an idiot that charges stop signs and red lights. It’s like saying every american who lives in the south has incest and like saying every asian is good at math. I longboard, I wear a helmet, I stop at stop signs, and everybody I skate with does the same.
Bill
04/05/2011
Long boarders are a biblical plague set upon humanity for its abandonment of CHRIST AS LORD AND SAVIOR!
REPENT NOW SINNERS! RETURN TO THE PATH OF RIGHTEOUSNESS.
bud
04/05/2011
i have come to the conclusion that you use a lot of big words to validate an argument, along with the use of one concrete detail…. so your just a internet douche that cant skate for shit. thus concludes: your a bitchass.
buddzyboy
Bill
04/05/2011
Dearest Buddzboy,
Please use proper capitalization and grammar when insulting the writer. It makes your unoriginal insult appear slightly less childish.
Sincerely,
Bill
bud
04/05/2011
dont dearest me.
Bdownz
04/05/2011
your just pissed because you cant swerve like a motherfucker and get chicks.
sounds like you have your shants caught in your vag.
have fun walking and not getting laid.
Dana
04/05/2011
So, I think everyone needs to chill and it appears most of you have not tried to get some where on UVM campus and been run off a path by a long boarder who thinks they own the world. It is an epidemic.
J
04/06/2011
Actually, we’d prefer you didn’t run off the path. We’ve accounted for you and are going around you, these sudden leaps “out of the way” are what cause crashes.
bud
04/05/2011
i got a fix: find a new campus
Bill
04/05/2011
Dearest Bud,
Your dismay at my salutation does not excuse your lack of capitalization. In case you were never taught what words to correctly capitalize in English, here is the Wikipedia article on the subject, it contains a few basic pointers. For a more detailed picture, I’d recommend a good style guide.
Sincerely,
Bill
bud
04/05/2011
your on the wrong subject brochacho. grammar doesnt concern this
ken
04/05/2011
It’s really awesome to see a Jewish person attacking an entire culture for the actions of a few. Why don’t you gas those longboarders to death? Maybe you could round them all up into some kind of camp? You’re a fucking tool.
Don’t know how to stop? It’s easier to stop on a longboard than a fixed gear bike.
Watch and learn you narrow-minded, elitist piece of shit.
http://www.skatehousemedia.com/04/22/2010/malibu-red-shoot
Herp
04/05/2011
y u mad tho?
Yup
04/05/2011
” Maybe you could round them all up into some kind of camp? ”
Ken, you are proof that longboarders are serious fucking losers who should have their boards confiscated, and their parents fined (and telephoned).
I bet your girlfriend is cheating on you with a biker.
J
04/06/2011
I think maybe you missed your grade 11 english class on irony…
jizzy
04/05/2011
Dearest Bill,
Quit acting like a grammar dick on a blog. It’s the internet, not an English class. Not everyone is smart, so have some consideration for the people who have more common sense than an English book in front of their face. Is that proper enough grammar for you?
Sincerest,
Jizzy
P.S. Quit being a troll. No one likes them.
And @Yup:
What?
Although you made perfect sense, you still made none… that was the dumbest comeback I have ever had the pleasure of reading. You’re just as bad as Bill up there… just more on topic.
jake the jew hater!!
04/05/2011
If there were 6 million of you jew hipsters id make it rain like the holocaust
Longboarder guy
04/05/2011
Why don’t you try stepping on a longboard before you trash it?
And how is something both “anti-establishment” and “mainstream”?
You’re talking out of your ass, plain and simple, and spreading a lot of hate for a sport you don’t know a damn thing about, making enemies of people that could have, under different circumstances, be your friends. If all you have is scorn for the world, just close this little blog down and go away. The world does not need more haters.
Longboarder guy
04/05/2011
*been
For the grammar-Jews out there.
FUCK YOU
04/06/2011
Your a faggot and are completely ignorant. I’m sorry that there are a few douchebag longboarders near u. I thought something similar till i started and have been skating for 2 years now and love it. FUCK YOU /srs/
Btw, your a douchebag
you are EFG
04/06/2011
you poor poor close minded freak
I would like to know what you enjoy then I’ll shit all over that
is this how big boys act!
its obvious they don’t, thus your a whinny little 12 year old
Longboarder
04/06/2011
Wow bro you should get the award of most ignorant ass hole… People have a right of their transportation, I dont see you criticizing those bicyclists who take up the whole road. Also saying that you can’t stop on a longboard is ridiculous. You use slide pucks and throw pindies to kill your speed. And if they dont want to wear a helmet thats fine, no skin off your back. As for getting in your way on the road just keep a safe distance behind them and maybe you can get a good laugh when they eat shit. Stop hating bro, it will get you no where in life except a fight when you tell a skater he is wrong for having fun.
Timski
04/06/2011
Everybody needs to calm the fuck down.
It’s all skateboarding. Yes I longboard and I shortboard. It’s all skateboarding.
Do what you love.
Sometimes raging down a local mountain road while throwing controlled slides going in or around 50 MPH sounds good.
Sometimes goin to a sick local park and filming an awesome line is more appealing that day.
I do both. It’s all skateboarding.
I don’t go to college, i’m a metal head, and I sure as shit ain’t rich.
Sometimes I can barely make rent.
Skateboarding and music is what keeps me happier than most, downhill or in the park.
Thing is, there will always be over privelaged pricks on both sides of the spectrum.
Now it’s up to you to not be one of them.
Go out and enjoy the gorgeous spring day and skate.
Sincerely,
Timski
derp
04/06/2011
ignore this dumbass and keep skatin
merp
04/06/2011
U jelly? @derp
hideandgofuckurself
04/06/2011
This article is pretty funny because its coming from someone who probably hasnt done anything in the least bit extreme their entire life get off you computer and get the balls to at least jump on one and see why so many people like it. Going 40 mph down a hill is one of the greatest feelings ever.
GNARBEQUE
04/06/2011
I think you are mistaking chill bro dudes who ride sector nines for longboarders. Go rant about something important, you skinny jeaned fuck.
oi
05/11/2011
dont go hard on sector 9. the sector 9 downhill crew are nutters, look it up on youtube (sector9media)
Ryan
04/06/2011
How could you say this? We wear helmets and obey the traffic laws as any car would! Think of what you like to do the most. Go on vacation to Hawaii? Go golf with your buddies? Go skiing? This is our hobby that lets us escape the stress of life. Thank you for understanding.
FUCKYOU
04/06/2011
I HAVE NEVER WANTED TO KILL SOMEONE SO BAD IN MY WHOLE LIFE. IF I EVER MEET YOU I WILL RIP YOUR FUCKIN HEAD OFF. I GET PAID TO LONGBOARD, YOU DONT GET PAID FOR YOUR FAGGYTIME ASS BLOG, WHO IS COOLER NOW? FAGG….
highway gospel
04/07/2011
Everyone
04/07/2011
You’re a tool.
That is all.
fuckyou
04/07/2011
your a fucking retard, learn about the sport dickhead.
Yous a bitch
04/08/2011
Dude fuck off your a lil piece of shit and your a Jew!
itsaHipstersJOB2HATE
04/08/2011
There are privileged college kids riding boards of all sizes. The ones who get me are the ones riding the hills on short boards & tiny wheels. Obviously HipsterJewface is just pretending to have a sharp and edgy opinion; even if it is an uneducated and ignorant one.
The NY Times quote has no correlation to BTV. Even though skaters here are pedestrians we are also subject to speed limits and traffic laws; unlike Laguna Beach, CA.
Dewurreasearchjew
Thisisreally funny
04/09/2011
I think it is really funny how your little juvenille commentary is getting to these people. It is clear that you are just an attention whore, because you offend people so they will tell other people and you will get publicity in that manner. I personally am a third party viewer because I don’t longboard. I think that there are some things longboarders do that are annoying, but you are taking it to an extreme that is just ridiculous. You clearly don’t know what you’re talking about. Longboarders are just adrenaline junkies, just like the rest of us that choose to participate in sports, whether dangerous or not, instead of spending our days looking up articles and blogging online. I am not offended by this article, I just think that the concept of what you are trying to do is worthless and is a testament to how pathetic y0ur life truly is. I advise that you get out of your car, stop being jealous of rich college kids, and give some exciting sports a try.
Patrick Heilmann
04/09/2011
Ok, listen to me. I have been a downhill skateboarder for three years; have you? No. And that’s the only assumption I’m going to make (unlike yourself) because, it is clear to me, and the rest of the populous of this article, that you have never stepped foot on a board. Ergo, none of your arguments on how “hazardous” the sport is haven’t an ounce of validity. Furthermore, these grandiose stereotypes are horribly incorrect. Now, what I’m about to here is give reason for my statements; something you should learn to do more fluently: stereotyping in the first place is prejudice and, this is the “Hipster Jew”, right? I thought you’d be a little more cautious with that. To judge such a large number of people is absolutely impossible in this scenario.
When I first read this, I was extremely angry. “Why would someone do this? What did we do to you?” But, after briefly calming down, I realized something; I’m happier than you. A lot happier than you. So, I and all of my longboarding counterparts have already won. I could have just as easily slandered you, et cetera but, alas, why would I waste my time with you if you won’t even listen to this message? I’m sure you’re a little over weight, glasses, your mom gave you too many hugs, etc but, why should I care about you if you deface something I love? I and most of the members of this thread do not care about you.
Well, in the end, I can’t judge you either; I, with only this article to observe, pity you dearly. Why someone would openly disrespect an entire group of people is absurd unless said person has deep emotional problems. I’m sorry you’re like this but, we all have to enjoy our lives; longboarding is just one of the ways I enjoy mine.
Oh and about the whole “Longboarders are over-privileged, blah blah blah”, I was raised in a car. Seriously, you haven’t a clue of what you are talking about. I’ve done things people will remember me for. What have you done lately?
The Duckman
04/09/2011
Um… he was talking about the people in Burlington VT. have you been to Burlington? Why are you taking offense to what he is saying about them?
Patrick Heilmann
07/11/2011
That’s all you have to fucking say? Really? I just addressed every.single.fucking.point he had to offer. You can’t just go on some tangent to invalidate an entire fucking memo on his stupidity -and now with any concern, your stupidity. This isn’t fucking Fox News or something; you can’t just brush shit off like that. Suck a dick.
Furthermore, he wasn’t just talking about the longboarding community of Burlington VT or just Malibu. He addressed us as a subculture (to use his own words). IE, your point is fucking useless. Suck my dick.
Whom ever would call themselves The Duckman is fucking ridiculous. You’re a dick.
The Duckman
07/13/2011
Are you really still crying about this? Wipe your vagina and get a sense of humor
Patrick Heilmann
04/10/2011
He was obviously talking about the longboarding group in its entirity. Maybe you should learn to read?
Patrick Heilmann
07/11/2011
Boring? Really? That’s all you can muster? People like you make people like me fucking sick to their stomachs. Just go on and suck a fucking dick already you pathetic perpetuate of a confused fucking idiot.
Gabe
04/12/2011
fucking hipster douche
Steven
04/21/2011
You’re a faggot :)
Stupid_People_Slappe
06/28/2011
Long boarding is something you do in the ocean when the waves are small, so in addition to your stupid ass write up, you have further revealed your bitch ass stupidity.
Carving is what you do on a long-board-skate when the waves are flat. Down-hilling is what you do if you have a death wish or an out of control thrill seeking addiction. You are a slut fart, ask a cool person like me what the hell is going on before you kick your own ass so hard.
T
07/07/2011
wow, you are an idiot. longboarding is the sickest form of transportation that there is. i’m not a dick to anyone when i’m boarding and i always give everyone i cross the right of way.
this article is pure bullshit, it’s like saying surfing is an invalid interest. there’s something for everyone. you obviously haven’t found your “thing” because then you wouldn’t be ragging on everyone elses. go get a fucking hobby. till then, i’ll be boarding till i die!
Izman20
08/27/2011
Longboarding is perfect. Those who hate it are jealous and scared to do it…as i once was. So carve, bomb, thrash and spread stoke forever. ….ah, suck it, im going skating down college st and pearl…see ya! Oh, and i aint a privileged college kid….im a hardworking married man with alot of responsibility…ha
bill owens
10/01/2011
Fuck off wanker
bill owens
10/01/2011
i bet you have no balls to even stand on one
Dalton
10/05/2011
Your a fucking poser, get off your fat ass and go longboard. If you still don’t like it then go shove a dildo up you ass.
hola
10/11/2011
Just thought I’d point out that longboarding is usually way more pro-helmet than skateboarding. I haven’t seen a video where a sponsored skater isn’t wearing a helmet.
dean
10/25/2011
i get where hes coming from, granted not all long boarders are douchebags and hipsters. skating in nyc makes you HATE long boarders. more often then not they have no business riding due to their apparent lack of skill and inappropiate attire. what i dont understand is why longboard in nyc when there are no real hills to bomb? sure u have the broadway bomb but thats an annual event where all skaters can join and shred though manhattan. I have nothing against REAL longboarders, but its the posers that get under my skin. the same thing happened when tony hawk 1 + 2 had debuted as a video game; this resulted in everyone and their mother thinking they could skateboard when in fact 3/4 of them had no business rolling back and forth in skateparks.
-bomb hills, not those green lanes for bikers
Tom
10/27/2011
Can’t tell if you are trolling – or just stupid…
burlington is my home
03/20/2012
I live in Burlington and no one really gives a shit about the long boarders. Some are obnoxious but it has nothing to do with long boarding. Most college kids are obnoxious. Longboarding is a great developing sport and this kid is just being a pissy asshole. If anything his comments on long boarding are so irrational and bitchy that he is worse then the people he is complaining about. Probably needs someone to take the pole out of his ass.
Dh longboarder
03/29/2012
Well see heres the thing im a longboarder and also a driver it can get iritating to have longboarders near ur car but ur a lil bitch.
The only thing worse then a longboarder causeing an acedent is some dick head in his moms basement bitching about people doing things with their life that dont invovel a computer seirously get ur self a girl or a fleshlight or somthing
And ur damn right we try to impress girls and acoridint to ur other posts u like to impress girls to he differnce is their girls we impress arent our moms.
The worst part is now everyone thinks ur an asshole with all the issues in the world u choose to whine about longboarders? If people would look before they drive through a stop sign half the problems with longboarders would be over. Ohh man we have to follow the rules of the road how dare us as drivers have to drive safe.
Kaelang
04/05/2012
I’m trying to think of a clever way to disparage you, and I continue to be drawn to your stupendously awful grammar. And ah! The age old “get yourself a girlfriend” argument, if you can call it that. Needless to say, your text wall is not very impressive, but I’m sure it’s far more impressive than your stupid longboard.
You only perpetuate the stereotype that longboarders are idiots. Move along.
Brandon Ritter
09/19/2012
lmao is this guys serious?………………………………………..^. Dude anyone can use proper grammar…….. we learn it in 1st grade…… This kid clearly didn’t care enough about your “argument” to grace you with his………………. No offense man, but most people do appreciate longboards. I hate to sound like every other kid on here but you really do fit the sterotype of a kid living in his mom’s basement =/ Longboarding takes balls, skills, and heart. You’re a trolling webblogger, probably not even in good shape….. or capable of having a girlfriend or boyfriend. Now i’m gonna stop with the name calling because that’s beside the point. Point is, instead of taking this issue up with the town council, you decided to whine to strangers online instead. Nah dude, longboarding is great, you should try it sometime. What kind of person hates on something before even trying it? aah i think my point has been made. Continue trying to argue everyone’s opinion with your “proper grammar”. Like anyone gives a fuck about grammar on the ethernet…. 2/10 don’t try.
Brandon Ritter
09/19/2012
basically if you REALLY think that longboarders aren’t in control of their speed, lines, braking, just as much as a cyclist is, then I’d like you to present to this group the number of fatalities via longboard to number of fatalities via motor vehicle. I’ll be waiting on that. ^_^ thanks have a good day.
stephen
05/08/2012
first off. i live in burlington vt. every longboarder ive ever met is the nicest person ever. i have never met an asshole longboarder or one who runs threw red lights and such. that being said, fuck you and have a very bad day :)
Rollin' Peanut
06/06/2012
First of all, let me state that the most destructive emotion of all is hate. It creates a clouded perspective, thus it leads/originates from ignorance. When the seeds of this emotion are spread and infect the shallow-minded, it may have some serious consequences. In most extreme cases it may lead towards discrimination, Which in turn will lead to a lot of unnecessary pain and suffering…
Therefore it is wise to eliminate the hate. I want to ask you kindly to try this, it DOES blind your view. Let me ask you to open up, and try to understand this situation from another perspective, with a more neutral (maybe even positive) state of mind.
You might have seen lots of boarders acting irresponsible but not every longboarder is as ignorant as that. This is indeed something to be very concerned about. Like all participants in traffic, longboarders should obey the rules aswell. For the sake of SAFETY.
Please unveil the mask of ignorance and get better informed. Socialise with boarders and learn to understand what they are really like…
Quote: “They can’t slow down or stop because longboards suck, and they shoot through red lights on the reg.”
Let me tell you this: ‘Longboards ARE capable of stopping!’
The very first thing to learn when rolling on a board is to brake. At slow speeds till +-30 KM/h you can easily come to a stop by footbraking. At higher speeds, there are many slide techniques to learn and master.
Since this blog is all about irony and satire, let me give you this from a boarders perspective. Just to show you that ‘Safety First’ is well promoted within the longboarding community:
Cedar
06/08/2012
I second all the motions of Peanut. Please dont be some damn ignorant guy, guy. In almost all cases we can stop faster than cars. So please quit spreading false truths. You should be reassuring all your friends to be less scared of us. Not the other way around.
Secondly, as Peanut said, open up to the world man. Large amounts of people do things that they enjoy. Thats why cool things always turn trendy. Because lots of people like them. Lots of people like something, because said something turns out to be highly enjoyable. Maybe you should think twice before closing the door on hip stuff, at least ask yourself why everybody is doing it. Quote “skateboarding with this bastardized version” .. Maybe bastardized yes, but in the end your making a pointless comparison. We dont spend the whole day in a parking lots practicing tricks and scraping our knees, and only sometimes in parks and on vert. Its about the ride, the journey, connecting and respecting the space around you instead of just taking it for granted. and yes- for all the downhill. The insane speed, the adrenaline, the tunnel vision, the touching of pavement while sliding through a hairpin next to a cliff that you wont come back from. We are all very awake my friend, maybe you should join us, give it a try. Pretty sure you want to- unless you really do live with your mom. Than i can understand how you might be a bit scared- causing you to feel the need for such expressions.
Colec18
06/11/2012
So I guess generalizing is accepted in society now? This is equivalent to racism. How about you quit hating on something that you obviously know shit about and do something good for the world.
Bjorn skullsmasher
06/30/2012
Open your mind before your mouth
Mark
07/02/2012
I can’t believe I wasted my time skimming this article.
Hate, stereotypes and assumptions without a trace of humour.
speed
08/08/2012
Fuck off jewboy. I’d like to ride over your head.
a
10/03/2012
Hey man I am a Jew… and a longboarder. I completely disagree with what this guy said, and it is obvious that you don’t like the stereotypes he creates,but you are no better by assuming all Jews are like that. i stumbled across this website by mistake, and i think it is horrible. Have a nice day.
Dolkar
12/05/2012
Longboarders are better drivers than Jewish drivers.
In conclusion, longboarding is the best. Jewish hipsters gonna hate.
Kendra
12/31/2012
Tell me about your skating career
-proud to be a longboarder-
smoothVTer
01/08/2013
I am constantly on the lookout for longboarders / skateboarders running through stopsigns and red lights. It happens on the regular, I’ve lived in Burlington for 10+ years and I live downtown and work out in S. Burlington. I don’t want irresponsible kids running into my car, hurting or killing themselves and then forcing me to go to court to fight my innocence. I obey the speed limit, I stop at all signs and lights, I drive carefully and legally, and especially carefully within city limits because UVM/Champlain area is overrun by skateboarders and longboarders, and bikers on the roads without lights at night, wearing all black at night, and not following any traffic rules whatsoever.
poop poop
01/11/2013
You=dumbass illiterate fuckhead