It’s like 8 minutes until Purim and you don’t have a costume. You don’t want to dress as a slutty clown, and your Amy Winehouse costume you used for the past 5 years has 12 different puke stains on it. But don’t worry. We are here to help you figure out how to dress in a culturally relevant costume. Dead celebrities from 2012 for the win.
Adam Yauch / Beastie Boys
What an awesome great way to
honor Adam have a themed costume with your Entourage bro-friends. Put on some shades, hats with graffiti, some nice kicks, and run around your shul drunk, yelling FIGHT FOR MY RIGHT TO *vomit*
You’ve always wanted to dress up as an astronaut. But your parents could never afford to love you enough to buy you those sweet-ass astronaut pj’s. Dress up as Neil Armstrong. Send your parents photos of you mooning the moon while wearing moon boots (or some shitty uggs). TAKE THAT MOM AND DAD. Also, ladies LOVE astronauts.
Donna Summer / Robin Gibb
You know your parents have old disco clothes from the 70s somewhere in your attic/basement. Put the on. Because disco will never die, just like Hipsters!
Wanna get political by being a-political? Dress up as George W’s family pet dog, Barney! Barney saw all the action of the White House, AND he never choked on a pretzel. Extra points if you find the Wilfred costume and pretend that George W got all his policy ideas from his talking dog.
Michael Clarke Duncan*
This one is a little sad, because he was such a wonderful actor. The good part is that you probably have a friend who looks like Tom Hanks (EVERYONE does), and you can go as a Green Mile duo. The best part is when you get so drunk you start crying, it’ll totally be in character. So don’t worry, and remember that what happens in prison stays in prison (or your mom’s basement).
*No idea how to make this work without blackface, but most shuls are full of racist old men so they’ll probably just laugh and call you a schvartze as they proceed to drink rubbing alcohol from the old country.