If you somehow haven’t heard yet, Ross Douthat (pronounced douche-hat), a writer for the New York Times, claims that Jews cannot have a magical fairy land like the heavily-influenced-Christian Chronicles of Narnia or the not-quite-so-obvious Lord of the Rings. He claims that Judaism, and it’s lack of belief in a devil and demons, makes Jews unable to base a magical fairyland on their scriptures.
Now, I’ve read some arguments about how, ya know, the whole Superman (Kal-El) franchise was heavily influenced by its Jewish creator. But that seems just a little too obvious, and I prefer to take his remarks personally.
For the first time in history here is a list of Jewish-influenced, magical, futuristic, enigmatic, supersonic, nerdiness.
1) General Ackbar from Star Wars. Known for his famous ‘It’s a trap!’ line, which King David first used in the Old Testament to warn the Israelites of a surprise attack from their allies Canaanites. Since used by Jews for generations to get out of sticky situations.
2) Dybbuks, the Jewish spirit of a dead body possessed by a previously deceased soul, are monsters in Dungeons & Dragons.
3) Ok. I’ll be honest. I have almost nothing else, and the first one was an obvious lie. Our people don’t do well sitting around and typing/writing unless we are kvetching about our problems in a cathartic way (Read: Johnathan Ames). We prefer to imagine with the 3d medium of cinema. Case in point? A man named Harlan Ellison.
‘Who the hell is he?’ you are probably mumbling to your computer monitor. And as I first read his name, I asked myself the same question. Let me throw some knowledge at you. This man wrote for the original series of The Outer Limits and Star Trek. What is that you say, Trekkies? Yes, a Jew brought you some of those amazing Shatner and Nimoy adventures. You can read the rest of the details of his sci-fi life on wikipedia.
Did the man write one entire hack-job bazillion-page series like Harry Potter? No. Did he live in a fanciful world like J.R. Tolkien? No. Harlan was too busy making money in Hollywood, getting married numerous times, and living an entire lifetime of Jewish guilt.
THAT is the real reason why Jews don’t write entire fantasy series, douche-hat.