PORNO PORNO PORNO

The Duckman —  03/06/2013 —  Comments

playboy israel

Young Israeli boys are now blessed with their first local Playboy (now in Hebrew!). You can read about local politics, what the cover girl likes to do on her Sundays, who the local football (or as us Angelos call is ‘soccer’) player is schtupping, and maybe they still have those weird dirty cartoons you can put up in your locker or something. I don’t know. I’ve never bought a Playboy.

Now here are a few lessons I’ve learned from people over the years who own porn:

  • Don’t hide smut under your mattress or under your bed. Too easy. Your mother probably changes your sheets. She will find it one day
  • Your sock drawer is also the wrong place. Again. Your mother probably does your laundry. If not, she likes to snoop in your room anyways.
  • If you go to a religious school, keep it with the Sefarim (Giant books of Torah and Talmud). I hear the Rabbis don’t check there for illegal things. So hide it between the pages of a Gemmara no one is going to read in 10 years.
  • Pro tip: This is also a good place to store your weed. Just make sure no one is stealing your goods.
  • If you don’t go to a religious school, hide it at your friends house. Honestly, you don’t need the embarrassment of having a smut magazine. He/She does.

Anyways, be safe and enjoy, little Israeli boys!

The Duckman

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