Everytime I walk into my favorite bodega, everytime I order my $3 cup of trade-free Ugandian coffee from my favorite hip coffeeshop I ask myself this important question, which pesters my soul and entire well-being. Are Hipsters just glorified Yuppies? How can I tell if there is a difference?
We first must understand what a Yuppie is. Yuppie is a stupid acronym for Young Urban Professional. Which could literally mean anything and anyone. My pot dealer is young, lives in a city, and deals with his clients pretty professionally. So I thought maybe he was a Yuppie. This is why I turn to wikipedia and read only their first sentence.
Yuppies are made fun of for their conspicuous personal consumption and obsession over social status among their peers, which is seen as vain and materialistic.
Alright. I’ll buy it. Defining a group by how they are made fun of in society. That’s a positive way to start off an article.
What about Hipsters? Are they the same?
Well, hipsters are certainly made fun of. No one will deny that. They do enjoy ‘conspicuous personal consumption’. But unlike their yuppie cousins, hipsters are apathetic. If they do care, it isn’t to compete. Because a true hipster, like the writers on this here blog, understand that they are better than everyone else. That everything they do is unique and trend-setting. So fuck competition. I already won.
On top of that, a lot of hipsters aren’t professionals. Many are unemployed lazy dickheads cough-DUCKMAN-cough. Many have degrees which they don’t use because they work at aforementioned hip coffee shop where they network for their 1990s inspired noise-rock-alt-band.
So in conclusion: Yuppies are what caused our economic collapse. Their selfish competitive spending forced credit debt upon all of us. Hipsters on the other hand continue to give us all reasons to live and believe in our dreams.
Simplest post ever written. Your welcome, Williamsburg and Tel Aviv, for defending your right to exist.
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