The New York Times recently uncovered a history of wastefulness of taxpayer dollars, started in the Bush administration: Making the White House kitchens kosher 1 day a year for a Hanukkah celebration. It’d probably be cheaper just to order-in Kosher chinese food for the evening like Clinton used to do, but sometimes a man’s just gotta say ‘fuck it!’
The following night would bring the Hanukkah party for 550 guests, politicians and Supreme Court justices among them. Rigorous koshering (sometimes called kashering) would ensure that the kitchen would be in compliance with Jewish dietary laws. Guests could eat without qualms, knowing their religious commitment had been respected.
(Sing to Ghostbusters theme) When you’re the most powerful man, in the Western world, and you need someone to clean (your kitchen for the Jews), who you gunna call? CHA-BAD!
Into the kitchen rushes a Lubavitch SWAT team of three rabbis and an intern. Three men, wearing aprons and industrial-strength rubber gloves, take on the ovens and burners. The fourth, in a suit and a black hat, is Rabbi Levi Shemtov, director of the American Friends of Lubavitch (Chabad). He is the supervisor-in-chief.
And then Levi Shemtov went on to be an anal-
retarded-retentive prick, ensuring that everything in the kitchen went above, beyond, and then more so just for shits and giggles, the call of duty. Anything that any Rabbi had ever deemed necessary to make a single kitchen Kosher for a single night would be employed to ensure that as much waste and frivolity as possible would occur.
As the great Rabbi Levi Shemtov once so stereotypically said, “Why so loose, the Saran wrap?”
And then he found Mitt Romney and Newt Gingrich and they all danced for Israel or the Messiah or against gays or something. Amen.