Imagine if a pornographer and a Rabbi teamed up to make Kosher porn

If only Hassidim got into the smut business.

Kosher porn. It’s what all the Jews want. How do I know? Because it’s consistently the number one Google search that gets people to come to HipsterJew. All they wanted was Kosher porn, an idea that confuses me, and instead they got a bunch of young, sarcastic jaded assholes.

But I don’t think people actually want Kosher porn. Because whenever I see a girl in a porno with a big nose, all I can think is ‘does her mother know what she’s doing?’ I don’t need those thoughts reproduced by 3 or 5 or 12 (if it’s a gangbang).

If I had to guess what Kosher porn was, I suppose it would involve a couple, young but religious and recently married, sitting down to a quiet Shabbat Dinner. After a meal of brisket and Challah, they get a little tipsy off wine and take it their flirting into the bedroom. After turning the Shabbos Light waaaayyy down, they get to business. There’s clothes flying everywhere, hair in every place imaginable. It isn’t pretty, but atleast it isn’t Frum Porn.

If somehow I lost you during that hot and raunchy sex description (where’s A-Train when you need him), here’s a preview for an indie mockumentary about a pornographer and a Rabbi working to make Kosher porn. It’s called Your Good Friend. The main characters may end up making gay love to eachother, you know hoe trailers usually leave out the best stuff.

// FailedMessiah