If Jews Run Hollywood Why Has Nobody Seen My Experimental Cat Vagina Films?

Readers, an interesting thing happened to me today. I was reading an editorial and I agreed with it whole-heartedly. Then, all of a sudden, the article took a turn for the crazy, and I was immediately annoyed at humanity.

Let’s take a look at this fine piece of  online literature, then review the point where it went crazytown.

Manny Friedman brings up a good point initially. He points out that Jews are the first to mention a celebrity Jew (see intense, completely biased love of Jon Stewart), and also the first to say that Jews don’t control the media.

AND IT’S SO TRUE.  I mean it’s not like the juden have a secret meeting place where they hang out and discuss world domination via the media but…  ”all eight major film studios are run by Jews”. So that’s a thing.

It’s also a thing that there are a bunch of successful Jews in all sorts of industries: politics, entertainment, academics, professional whining.

Notice that this incredibly anti-semitic picture did NOT include athletics.

But this is where the accord I feel with Manny disappears because then he starts getting…elitist?

Manny argues that the reason there are so many Jews in high places is because we are “special”. There is a “spark” in every Jew that makes them work harder or some malarkey like that. People are jealous of our awesomeness so things like the Holocaust and that Moses thing with the babies and the pyramids happen.

Though I would love to believe that there is something special in our DNA (yes even my half-breed DNA) that makes us elite because that’s how G-d decreed it goshdarnit… I’m going to instead be rational and chalk it up to a cultural (and religious) focus on education and a constant attempt to prove oneself as minority culture. Trying to constantly please Momma Rosensteinblumenblatt also seems viable.

In conclusion, I’d like to send a message out to elitist Jews:

You are not special. You are a piece of shit just like everyone else. Someday you will die, and 100 years from now no one will remember you except as their great-mother, Miriam, who lived in New York City and gave birth to their grandfather Harold. Maybe you’ll strike it big and get famous, but someday you will be forgotten. We are all the same. We are all made up of the same crap, eat the same crap, crap the same crap, and crap ourselves when we die.

I may have seen Fight Club too many times during my formative years.