If ____ had guns, _______ would never have happened

If slaves had guns, slavery would never have happened.
If Jews had a gun the Holocaust would never have happened.
If Jews had fashion sense the show Girls would never have happened.
If 1920s NY Jews had controlled the banks, the stock market collapse would never have happened.
If I had a gun, my Bar Mitzvah portion would never have happened.
If my Mom had a gun, my unclean room would never have happened.
If The Duckman had a gun, this shitty website would never have happened.
If 1950s Soviet Jews had guns, Communism…actually…would still have happened.
If Sandy Koufax had a gun, the 1965 World Series would never have happened.
If Superman had a gun, the destruction of Krypton would never have happened.
If 1940 Israeli settlers had guns, Arabs would never have happened.
If Einstein had a gun, the atomic bomb would never have happened.
If Henry Kissinger had a gun, Disco music would never have happened.
If my mom’s dad didn’t have a shotgun, my parents’ marriage never would have happened.
If monkey had guns, evolution would never have happened.
If George W Bush had a gun, the War in Iraq would not have happened?
If I had that PlayStation I wanted as a child, graduating college would never had happened.

If douchebag NRA lovers knew when to make an appropriate Holocaust comparison, this blog post would never have been written.