‘Hipster Crap’ is an oxymoron

I’ve been to this store. It is full of Vintage things, such as mens apparel, costumes, and Hipster crap. You may be confused. ‘How do these three go together?’, you may be wondering to yourself while wearing fake Ray Bans and playing with your broken snap-watch (not from personal experience or anything). But to claim to be ‘vintage’ and then add on all of these extras? Next Salvation Army is going to start calling themselves vintage, and then the word will have even less meaning than it has now (which is pretty meaningless). Soon everything will be vintage, and then real vintage will have to call themselves ‘uber duber vintage’ and that’s just a stupid name. I’m not going to brag about my ‘uber duber vintage’ glasses frames.

Thanks a lot, Burlington Vermont vintage store Downtown Threads. I want to blame you for diluting the necessity of the over-used Hipster-approved word ‘vintage’.

Now show me what you have in terms of Hipster Crap. My trust fund is buying.