Hipster Bees for Rosh Hashanah Honey

Park Slope Jew with Park Slope Bees for Park Slope Rosh Hashana

Jews love making money off of goys, and more importantly, other Jews. In fact, most Judaic items are scams so that Jews can make other Jews pay for stupid trinkets, in the hopes that they’ll be heirlooms, or atleast you’re supporting ‘Jewish artists’ or something. But when it comes to the Jewish holidays, us Jewish people be making the dollah dollah bills.

“I sell half of my supply in the weeks leading up to Rosh HaShana,” said David Glick, 27, [Ed note: SUPERJEW, ]who has two hives on a rooftop on Court Street in Brooklyn Heights.

“I don’t make any money,” said Glick expecting to sell twenty 6-ounce jars of his Heights Honey for $10 each before the holiday. “My mom loves it. She gives it to all her friends. It’s a unique gift.”

Whoa. You don’t make any money, huh? Who pays for your rent and your free time to waste your life caring for bees, then selling the honey at a 850% markup to your ‘closest friends and mother’. Riiiiiiight.

What about the eco-friendly vegans out there? Huh? Huh?

Alexander Rapaport, a Borough Park Hasid, found Jewish beekeeper Andrew Cote selling a stack of honeycomb at the Union Square Farmers Market last week.

“It’s exciting. It’s from local bees. It’s new twist for the New Year,” said Rapaport whose family uses honeycomb rather than regular honey during the High Holy Days.

Ugh. Okay. I’ve had enough of these radical Jews. It says IN THE TORAH that you must use BEE HONEY for your APPLE. It’s in there, in the boring part (all of it). Okay, the most boring part (The book of Numbers).

Fine, fine. I’ll listen to one more Jewish person talk about honey. They better say something important.

Park Slope resident Rachel Green put a hive on her Garfield Place home in the spring hoping for a holiday honey harvest which she will give away to friends and family.

“Rosh HaShana is the time to think about your future, your past and what you can do differently,” Green said. “Bees are part of the future. The world needs them.”