Is It Hip to Be a Nazi?

Alex - Resident Goy Writer —  04/08/2010 —  Comments

I don’t want to make this a whole site devoted to arguing that the Nazis are bad (you’d think that would’ve been settled a long time ago), but since it’s cropped up a couple of times in the past couple of weeks, I thought I’d mention The Daily Beast has a slideshow about celebrities who have been involved in Nazi scandals. Some of them are sad, most of them are stupid, all of them are in hilarious bad taste.

They have the big ones, of course. Jesse James, Pope Benedict, Charles Lindbergh, Prince Harry, they even surmise about Arnold Schwarzenegger (you guys won’t believe me, but I spelled his last name right on the first try), but there are some fun ones (if any of this is “fun”) in there too. Errol Flynn, one of the biggest stars of the Golden Age of Hollywood is claimed as an out and out spy for Hitler, whose actions led to people’s deaths.

He's just so smug. How could he not be a Nazi?

Also, I didn’t know that not only was Bobby Fischer, the World Chess Champion, a Jew, but a self-hating one at that, who hoped after 9/11 that there would be a military coup that would execute the “American Jewish ringleaders.” He even drafted a letter to Osama Bin Laden in which he introduces himself as “The World Chess Champion” (neglecting to mention he gained that title 30 years earlier) and then calls the United States the “Jewnited States.” Man, that is the worst portmanteau I’ve ever seen. Here’s a little poem of scorn for Bobby Fischer:

I would guess, Mr. Fischer,
despite your finesse at chess
You never learned ’bout “subtly”

Really puts that whole 1972 World Championship match against the commies into perspective, doesn’t it?

Bobby Fischer winning one for Hitler

Some of them are stretches. Mel Gibson, for instance, makes the slideshow, but he never went so far as to praise Hitler.  Michael Jackson is included for comments he made about Hitler being a master of entertainment in order to sway so many people to his view of thinking is remarkable only because Jackson’s former rabbi goes to bat for him. Michael Jackson had a rabbi? I feel like we’ve only begun to scratch the surface of that man’s life.

There are some included who say Hitler was “brilliant” and then forget to clarify with “…and by that I mean ‘brilliantly evil'” instead letting some later publicist fill that line in for them. I wouldn’t call that “being a Nazi.” I would call that “being ridiculously stupid.” If you’re gonna talk about Hitler, you’ve got to remember that the tabloids aren’t gonna put your quotes in context in the headline. Don’t make nuanced points. Just get in a quick soundbite and moves on. Even if you said something trite, like “Hitler was bad” you would look less stupid than if you said “The thing I like about Hitler, while I don’t condone his actions, is…” They’re gonna skip that middle part and there’s gonna be a bunch of photoshopped photos of you in a Nazi uniforms on the internet. And don’t think it can’t happen to you because you’re attractive or something watch what happens to this cute puppy:

Awww...He's so cute and cuddly!

Aww! He's so cute and cuddly!

when I do this:

Literally ten minutes in Photoshop, and he's a virulent supporter of Hitler

If I were a famous celebrity, I would just stick to dressing like a less popular murderous group. Instead of the Nazis, why not try the Teutonic Knights? They’re pretty famous for hating non-Christians too. Plus, harder to photoshop.

Alex - Resident Goy Writer

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