Youngest sons have it the hardest. Fawned over when everyone else leaves the house. Always spoiled and loved the most. It S-U-C-K-S. In exchange for the doting and comparatively lax upbringing, I’m expected to take care of my Mom when she gets old(er).
Which I won’t do. Unless, when my Mom ages a bit more, she gets some sick ink drawn, and develops a healthy whiskey ‘habit’. That’s the time of grandmother I want my children to know, love, respect, and occasionally fear when gran-ma-ma get angry after drinking her ‘special apple juice’.
I may be a bad son for this. But atleast I wont murder you, mother. That is a promise I can keep. Atleast I’m not Richard Cohen.
An emotionally disturbed Brooklyn man who had feuded with his mother over money for years was arrested Sunday after stabbing her 41 times, killing her, police sources said. Richard Cohen, 31, who has a history of mental illness, knifed his 64-year-old mom, Anne Cohen, repeatedly in the torso and neck about 10:50 p.m. Saturday, police said.
So just remember: I’ll never kill you. I’ll never hire a hitman to kill you. And I’ll never keep your meds from you so that you will wither away. I know that may not get me the Son of the Year Award, but it could be worse.
I could be on DRUGS.