Ever wanted a drink that has the same delicious tastes of whiskey, but without the side effects of hair-growth, balls-descention, and feelings of euphora? Are you a devout Muslim Hipster? Or are you a date rapists and need a drink that smells like alcohol but wont get you drunk?
Well then ArKay, the alcohol-free whiskey flavored drink is right for you!
VP of Sales says: “This beverage is not intended to be medicine, but is a healthy alternative substitute to liquor and may we mention again: Hangover free.” //Laughing Squid
Which is definitely why people would choose this! For the lack of hangovers. Definitely not the date rape.
The second alcohol product is for the outdoorsy Hipsters. The ones who enjoy hiking a cool mountain trail near a large metropolitan town. The ones who grew up in small suburban/rural America. The ones who don’t mind sacrificing the taste of real microbrews, or PBRshitty, for something easily accessible in the mountains. Presenting: Waterless beer.
I’m making this up, but I bet Neil Armstrong drank this shit on the moon.
I have no idea if this will actually taste good, but I here a fifth of whiskey will get you just as drunk, and wont take up too much space in your pack. But what do I know? I was never a boy scout. I certainly never got kicked out of boyscout camp for possible alcohol consumption.