American tourists are the worst. They stand in the middle of the road. They jaywalk. They don’t understand the customs of the native people. And I’m just talking about the tourists in New York. You have to wonder how awful Americans are overseas. But I completely understand. When you’re in a new place, it’s hard to adjust and be normal. Take for example the time I went to Israel and couldn’t order a coffee. I know how to order coffee. I’ve done it a 1,000 times. But going to another country and ordering it with new people just felt weird to the point I forgot what I was doing. Somehow I ended up with hot chocolate.
Aly Raisman’s parents are in the same boat. They clearly don’t understand that when you’re viewing the Olympic Gymnastics, you need to sit down so the creepy old men can gawk at the girls. I understand, you’re not at home in Newton, MA. You can’t be the respectable Masshole that you are. How are you suppose to know some guy paid a few bucks to watch your daughter stretch? You’re forgiven this time, but please be aware that there are creepy people all around you.