Hipster Jew

Dude, Where’s My Chutzpah? The first three episodes

The Duckman — Fri, 24 May 2013 00:59:45 +0000

We are so happy to announce that the first three episodes that Dude, Where’s My Chutzpah? are available to you, right now, and forever! Over the next few Thursdays, Jessie Kahnweiler will be releasing 3 episodes at a time. Don’t feel like marking that down in your calender? That’s cool because I’m going to remind you constantly.

I posted episode 1 which introduces us to the entire story we laid out here (link for those too lazy to watch the episode). You can watch episode two here. If you feel like skipping episode two because you like to ruin the plot line of a story (I used to do this with Mad Men to speed up the show. It’s cool) then you can just watch episode 3 here.

Greatest Cat Video EVER

Schlitz Lipz — Fri, 24 May 2013 00:10:57 +0000

If you’ve ever had a cat

or seen a cat

or know what a cat is,

check this out.

It’s the funniest, most on-point cat video I’ve ever seen. It’s like they know what cats are.

Enjoy babies, I know I did.

This is how you disappoint your Mother in a minute

Chicky — Thu, 23 May 2013 17:40:13 +0000

Do you have a rocky relationship with your mother? Are you still living at home, and/or are stuck in your teenage year, living out your angst a la Groundhog Day? Then this is the video for you!

P.S. There are much better ways at disappointing your mother, mostly by marrying a non-Jew and becoming a porn director/star. Also, by being suicidal. That makes every mother really really sad.

All art is still bullshit

The Duckman — Thu, 23 May 2013 04:25:42 +0000

This is a performance piece by a few art students who found a crappy painting in the trash and decided it would make a great youtube video. It didn’t make a great youtube video. In fact, I would go as far as calling this an outsider youtube video. For you see, this video was made with terrible lighting. And on top of that the person filming is clearly doing all of the talking. And most of all, this video was filmed portrait. Any jackass with a day in the real world knows if you’re going to film something to share on youtube, film landscape.

Amateurs.

Honestly, who freaks out after such little, weak criticism? If you can’t last 15 seconds with people telling you that your new approach sucks, then you would have been weeded out when your mom stopped putting your scribble drawings on the fridge. Stop wasting my time internet with your outsider youtube video art.

The Don Jon Trailer is out

Chicky — Wed, 22 May 2013 22:31:12 +0000

Don Jon looks like a renaissance movie. Joseph Gordon-Levitt directs and writes his first movie, and plays the lead role – a ridiculous Saturday Night Fever/Ryan Gosling character. He gets ladies, but he’s also addicted to porn. Something about Italian stereotypes, JGL, dancing, and porn just really makes me think this movie will be a ‘sleeper hit’. I just hope that before I die I get to be in a movie with that talented, dark-eyed motherfucker.

All Hail Philanderer Mayoral Candidate Anthony Weiner!

Chicky — Wed, 22 May 2013 17:46:08 +0000

C’mon people. No need to pass judgement. This is America. The country where conservative southern Republicans, who run on ‘family values’ cheat on their multiple wives and still get re-elected or run for President. The fact is this is America, where we’re simultaneously obsessed with our politicians and celebrities’ personal lives, yet will get all in a huff due to or strangling Puritanistic ‘morality’. The worst part isn’t that we’re a country that gives second chances, it’s that we only give politicians a chance if they make a fake public apology and resign, then return a few years later.

I guess that’s what happens when we’re all a bunch of uneducated buffoons who have the collective political and historical memory of an Alzheimer’s patient who used to be a pro-football player. We deserve what we elect in our democracy, and it’s never that great.

So here’s to Jew York’s next possible philandering mayor, Anthony Weiner! Bring it on, Nate Silver.

Carrie Brownstein sells out to AMEX

Chicky — Tue, 21 May 2013 17:39:39 +0000

NOOOOOOOOOOO Why does everyone sell out? You used to be so cool and punk and anti-establishment! Remember people, this is how it works. You meet a sketch guy who gets a job at SNL (super sell-out!), and then you create a show on IFC (not at all selling out), and then you do some shitty commercial for a super large money-sucking middle-class molesting credit card company. Thanks Carrie Brownstein. Now it’s just a matter of time before my family sells me down the river to act in a Abercrombie and Fitch commercial.

Only the best are self-described hipsters

Chicky — Thu, 16 May 2013 21:19:36 +0000

A new study came out, proving that the term ‘Hipster’ is still a derogatory term – but an entirely acceptable one – to this now marginalized and oft-hated group. (Think ‘punks’, but whiney and without any street cred.) Being a Hipster is great. This blog describes what makes being a self-described ~~douchebag~~ hipster so great. Once you accept the hate, you can let it flow through your veins, course into your soul and let it control your every action.

“10 percent of Americans identify as hipsters — that ill-defined category of urban, overeducated youth — while 50 percent of citizens between the ages of 18 and 29 say they wear the label with pride.”

Hipsters, REPRESENT!

//AtlanticWire

Dale Earnhardt Jr Jr – Dark Waters

Chicky — Thu, 16 May 2013 17:43:01 +0000

Dale Earnhardt, killing it again with another wonderful Beatles-inspired song and really fucking weird music video. I don’t think that at this point in their career they can do any wrong. Get their new EP, Patterns, here.

The JAP Jersey Shore Show

Chicky — Wed, 15 May 2013 20:25:17 +0000

There’s a new Bravo reality show coming out. It’s full of stereotypes, joobs, and spoiled, terrible women. It takes place on Long Island. And it’s full of insane, terribly spoiled Jewish girls. LONG ISLAND PRINCESSES to the rescue!

Does it seem like a terrible joke? Or that all the women are actresses who were told to act as terrible as possible, in the most annoying accent known to humankind? Probably. And that’s what will make it an amazing tv show.

I can’t wait to watch rich spoiled girls act like bitches. It’ll be like all the girls I avoided at college all over again.

Atleast now, when rednecks in Alabama think about Jews, it wont be just about all the money we have and the media we own. It’ll also be about our daughters who are all terrible monsters. Monsters we created.

To sum it up:

“SHABAT SHALOM. GO FUCK YOURSELF.”

//Forward