Dear Hipster Jew, is this song Kosher?

Dear HipsterJew,

I saw this song by my new favorite artist, Captain Murphy. It’s called Mighty Morphin Foreskin. Can I listen to it even if I had my schlong pricked as a child? Also, if I’m on drugs? Thanks.

Guiltily Yours,

Schmuck-Skinned

Dear Schmuck-Skinned,

Let met get this straight. This song title plays off of the 1990s hit sitcom (can I call it that? No? Well I’m going to any way) Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers. On top of the obvious 90s pop culture reference, it also is about something so very unKosher and not Jewish that the thought of it has already made by future children cry out in unisonned pain. Well, only my future male children are crying out in pain. That’s because they’re losing their foreskin. If I can’t have one, none of my direct species can!

Can we get to the real issue, though? What’s a ‘mighty morphin foreskin’? Is it a foreskin that can morph? If so, into what? Does it just become invisible? Or does it have super STD-stopping powers? Until you can answer this question to my satisfaction, you will NEED to listen to this song. I will be awaiting your reply.

So to answer your question, yes you may listen to this song. But only if you are ironic about it. Show it to your Jewish friends and non-Jewish ones and be like ‘listen to this totally ironic song and then tell me how I’m culturally superior to you. Thaaaaaaanks’.

- Chicky

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