Is it okay if she claims she’s doing the Chaplin?
Archives For Poliwieners
Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper has a boner for Benjamin Netanyahu, Israeli PM. How much of a boner does he have? A karaoke boner. Such a large, big, ginormous karaoke boner.
Do you think it’s “Hey Jude” or “Hey Jew”? Just wonderin’…
New York Assemblyman, Steve Katz (R), was pulled over for speeding last year. The cop noticed a big smell of dank weed coming out of the car. This would be a non-story if it wasn’t for the fact that Steve Katz vowed keep marijuana criminalized in New York. It would also be a non story if Steve Katz didn’t use his political connections to get out of all charges. But we’re not here to discuss that.
We are here to talk about how Steve Katz is now a pot loving
hippie neo-con who would skip Governor Cuomo’s State of State to conduct a “Pot Research Trip” in Colorado. I mean, who would have thought that legalizing weed would make it so that you could buy weed?! Er…. I mean, who would have thought legalizing weed would have brought in tons of tax money? So silly right?
Well congrats New York! You are now the 21st state to legalize medicinal marijuana!
// image via weedist
This is kind of funny. It’s not hilariously funny, because it’s too full of itself. Ever listen to Bill Maher? His head is so far up his self-righteous ass, it’s impossible to laugh with him. No self-deprecation. Just a political comedian who thinks everything he says is from Socrates’ own pederast mouth.
It’s the same with this BBC video. I totally get the joke they are going for – what if Israel tried to grab land everywhere it had a presence. It’s entertaining, and I like when one of them calls a police officer anti-Semitic. That’s always a good one. Otherwise, it may have been funnier if it was the same premise but using a different country? Like one that nobody would expect to start land-grabbing. Lichenstein. Clearly.
Funny? Not funny? Anti-Semitic?
The Obama administration is getting destroyed on the technology side of everything they do concerning healthcare reform. Their website is shit because they didn’t hire a company that makes good websites. And now they throw out a meme that is being torn apart by Republicans.
Just some issues I see with this image that can make it go viral in a bad way:
- Hipsters are easy targets
- Especially a hipster in pajamas that probably lives with his parents (not that there is anything wrong with that… not that I have experience with that… I live with my parents)
- No one talks about health care or health coverage
- Hashtags can be used against you. Use hashtags wisely
- Don’t have a weak message. Because people will make fun of it, and it will be more powerful than your message.
So how are Republicans doing with this easy target?
President Obama is a sick sadist fuck. A sexual miscreant. An adulterer who does not share the same values in marriage that we all strive to. How Dare he!? HOW DARE HE? Taking flirty pictures with Danish Prime minister Helle Thorning-Schmidt during Nelson Mandela’s five hour memorial service (not long enough in my opinion), and with his wife right there? SHAMEFUL. Least he could do is go on trips to “South America” and fuck hookers, so his wife doesn’t know about it!
But Obama is only a patsy in Helle Thorning-Schmidt’s sick sexual fantasy. She’s the true criminal here! She’s married too! But she shows up to a funeral in a conservative black suit, a long black skirt, black leggings and black shoes, she’s practically BEGGING for it! With her blonde hair and pale danish face!? She should have respectfully covered herself with a big sheet for the funeral, or an unflattering cookie monster costume, everyone loves Sesame Street, even people in Africa. Also Mrs. Schmidt…put on sunglasses! Don’t distract me with those beautiful blue eyes! This is a funeral not a fucking Las Vegas Sex House. The New York post says the Prime Minister “hiked her skirt up” for the picture with Obama. That’s right! Hiking her skirt up, or “sitting comfortably” is disgusting, the man freed apartheid, be uncomfortable!
President Obama, that filthy sex vermin says it was only a photo, that he and his wife were chatting with a world leader. Well, that’s a load of bullshit because a man and woman can’t speak to each other without wanting to have sex with each other. It’s why I have no female friends, any female I speak to, I am trying to have sex with, it’s just nature. No if’s ands or buts about it, and any woman who speaks to me is just deciding whether or not I’d be a worthy father for her future children because that’s what women want…babies.
In conclusion, President Obama, I am appalled by your actions, talking to a beautiful, powerful woman and expecting us Americans to just accept that two human beings could enjoy each other’s company and not be flirting? Fuck you. You still think too highly of us. Almost as high as Mrs. Helle Thorning-Schmidt’s skirt was! ARROOOOOOOO!
Roger Ailes, the president of Fox News network once asked me, “What the *bleep* is so offensive about putting up a plastic Jewish family on my lawn at Christmas time.” – NYMag
Mayor Menino is going to make November 28th Thanksgivukkuh day in Boston, to appeal all those Jewish Bostonians (Like Adam Sandler and Leonard Nimoy). Yeah yeah yeah maybe one of the Pilgrims on was Jewish or something. Maybe he has lots of Jewish friends. Maybe he’s doing it because it won’t happen again for 80,000 and by then neither America or Judaism will exist. All I know is that Menino knows how to play the political game.
And I can’t wait to see the Thanksgivukkah Parade, complete with blow up turkeys and dreidels. It’ll be quite the party!
Are you lonely?
Out of a Job?
Drinking your political science degree away?
Just want someone to talk to?
Maybe someone to talk dirty to?
I have a website you should check out. Drunk Dial Congress.
Don’t be afraid you might not have anything to say. There is a list of great talking points you can refer to as you use your God given right to drink and yell at people on the phone. Talk about how you really wanted to see some fucking pandas. Talk about how you think they should let illegals mow the Lincoln Memorial lawn to save on spending.
Don’t talk about legalizing pot. Don’t talk about how you need to score some molly, but the website you frequent was shut down by the feds. Don’t threaten to kill anyone, or mention you were with someone’s mother last night.
Otherwise, have fun this weekend ;)
Alan Grayson (Jew, Old People Land) may be one of the only sane people left in Florida. Having grown tired of Republicans being utter douches, he decided to point out that Congress has lost it’s dignity, in the world and in the eyes of the American people. It turns out people like Congress less than hemorrhoids, cockroaches, and dog poop. You heard that right, this representative pointed out that Congress is lesser than poop.
“What do you have a higher opinion of, Congress or hemorrhoids? Congress, 31 percent; hemorrhoids, 53 percent. What do you have a higher opinion of, Congress or dog poop? Congress 40 percent; dog poop 47 percent.”
I’m so glad Grayson was re-elected. He’s like a Jewish, more serious John C. Reilly. Atleast one good thing has come out of Florida. Lots of good things DO go there to die, if that counts for something.