Archives For Guilt

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Sarah Silverman’s sister, Rabbi Susan Silverman, was arrested at the Western Wall early last year after refusing to remove her prayer shawl. Susan is a member of Women of the Wall, a feminist organization trying to ensure that all types of Jews are welcome to pray at this holy site in their own fashion. And last night Sarah Silverman joined her sister and lit a menorah as a proverbial ‘fuck you’ to the religious extremists that are in charge of the wall. Sarah’s in town for the Bar Mitzvah of her nephew, so she’s awesome for being a great aunt and a supporter of equality within Judaism (wherever possible).

Happy Hanukkah, Sarah. We hope you can light whatever you want at the Wall, whether it’s a menorah, or joint, or a joint in the shape of a menorah.

//FailedMessiah

menorah-tree
Sometimes it’s all about compromising. One reddit user’s solution to the multidenominational household. May I present: the Menorahtree

Let’s take a moment out of our day to discuss current queen of all things ass, Nicki Minaj (Miley Cyrus get the fuck out). She catapulted into the center of pop culture after a guest verse on biggest hipster in the world Kanye’s “Monster,” and has been there more or less ever since, reminding us that she has a big butt by talking about it non-stop. And by shaking it a whole lot in every music video she does. Sometimes she raps in weird voices, but mostly she just shakes her ass and talks about the pros and cons of having lots of booty.

This really wouldn’t be of any concern to us at Hipster Jew normally. We’re content to stay in our corner, which is talking about hipster garbage, and ridiculing anyone caught making a Hitler reference or people that get outed wearing SS uniforms for Halloween. So we really don’t care about Nicki Min–

 

Oh! Oh. Okay. I guess we’re going there.

So here we have a music video director taking a song about sex, and transforming it into some odd amalgamation of hip hop meets “Triumph of the Will.” I assume he had free reign to make the video however he wanted, after all, only artists are so obsessed with form and style that they would take a film like “Triumph” and admire it, get inspired by it, and then slavishly imitate it, while wholly disregarding the context. it’s something a film student would do after smoking a shitload of weed and then deciding to model his final project after a Reifenstahl piece.

But the degree of replacement imagery that’s in the video leads me to think that the director did this with full knowledge of the context. The whole thing: Nicki’s bent over ass pose replacing the Nazi eagle, Chris Brown as the surrogate Mussolini right hand man, the Young Money logo redesigned to take the place of the swastika, all calculated for clicks and pageviews. The whole thing is asking for a Twitter shitstorm, and since the director is retweeting but not talking to or engaging the people talking about it, it’s going to get one. And now even a small blog like HipsterJew is talking about it. Mission Accomplished.

Here’s the only part I don’t get though: Why is Drake the Pope? It feels tacked on. You couldn’t make him Goering or someone? Just… it doesn’t fit. I like my Third Reich tributes to be professional, you know? Shoehorning the Pope in to make some sort of tangential point reeks of amateurism.

We’ve all been there. Walking down the street, or on your college campus. A Chabad Rabbi is smiling way too charistmatically in front of his ‘Sukkah Mobile’ as he asks if you’re Jewish. You do it, because you have guilt, because you are Jewish. (History should teach us to lie when anyone asks us if we are Jewish.) You make a public spectacle of yourself, you try to move on, and forget that being Jewish can be so embarrassing when it’s thrust upon you like a mountainous burden. It’s tough being Jewish on the strees of NYC.

What I’m trying to say is that this video is perfect. I’m not sure how I feel about it taking away from the original video about women being catcalled, but even as a video on it’s own it is pretty fucking funny.

//Huffpo

Soooooo the Jews of Cape Town decided to make parody to Die Antwoord’s I Fink U Freeky. Although Die Antwoord’s song is a few years old, I have to say that this was pretty bold on the part of these South African Jews. I mean, have you seen any of their videos? Di Antwoord isn’t so kosher. Considering they made the anthem against circumcision and all. Either way. Go South African Jews, I guess.

// r/judaism

Mr. Decembers

The Duckman —  09/23/2014 —  Comments

nice-jewish-urban

Hi guys. It’s us. Hipster Jew. The Jewish new year is coming up next week, and what better time to tell you that we are in the NICE JEWISH GUYS CALENDAR 2015! We will be sitting at the back of the calendar, judging everyone as they slowly get through the entire year. But no seriously. We’re the month of December. Reminding you that you need to buy another calendar for all of your friends. I mean, what else are you going to get them, even if we won’t be back for 2016?

it's happening
You can buy it at Urban Outfitters, Modern Tribe, Kitson.

PS Thanks to Jesse Banks III for photographing us!

A few months ago, I decided to move back to New York City and give it another chance. My time living in New York was spent leap-frogging from one shitty neighborhood to the next, across several boroughs. What’s interesting is that my current neighborhood is at an intersection of three different ethnic groups. There are Russians to the east, blacks to the west, and Caribbean to the south. I love this neighborhood.

While the next part of this story is about Antisemitism, I should note that my neighborhood does not have many Jews. There are remnants of Jews who once lived here. Unknown to its current inhabitants, a church only two blocks from my apartment contains a beautiful flame sculpture on the front of the building, stating its former life of a synagogue. The iron fence surrounding the church is shaped like menorahs. Six blocks away is another building that is currently operated by New York City as a daycare for senior citizens. Signs posted around the center point to the defunct synagogue as a place for a weekday morning service.

This past Saturday Afternoon I decided to take a walk. As I left my apartment I noticed two young men dressed in black suits, white shirts, and black hats across the street. Initially, I thought how funny it would be if I said “Shabbat Shalom” to them, as I was in shorts and a t-shirt and clearly not religious. Then I started to wonder why these two young men were walking down this street. Maybe they were taking a long walk to/from Boro Park? I thought it was odd they were walking down this specific street, especially when the neighborhood looked much nicer only a few blocks away. You go from ugly apartment buildings that look like they were built during World War 2 to giant Victorian houses that have front yards in the span of a few minutes. If I was taking a leisurely walk, that is the area I would go to.

As my mind started to wander, I noticed two more young men walking down the street on my side. Where they in a race with the other two Jews? Why are there so many Orthodox Jews walking through my neighborhood today? Was there a Torah in the former synagogue that needed saving? Quickly, these funny (to me) thoughts were interrupted by an older black lady yelling down the street. At first I thought she was speaking gibberish – there tends to be a lot of drug users in my neighborhood. Everyone in my building smokes weed in the stairwells, and I’ve seen strung out people on my front steps numerous times. As I got closer to her I started to make out some of her words. It was the second to last day of the month, and this This older black lady thought that these young men were sent to collect her rent money. She thought they were going to start kicking people out of their homes for not paying rent on time. She was yelling at them for being greedy and hurting the neighborhood.

Except they were just walking down the street. I was kind of shocked. This lady was yelling at them because the only association she has with Orthodox Jews is the many Orthodox slum lords of New York.

It was so ridiculous, I couldn’t help but laugh. I turned to her as I passed (she was still yelling) and I said to her “They are not coming for your money. It’s the Sabbath. They can not take your money.”

After a few moments of me trying to reassure her, and her not listening, a light bulb went on in her head and she said “Oh, its Saturday.”

While I have read my fair share of anti-white graffiti in this neighborhood, I have never had a problem. I have never felt threatened or attacked in any way. This was certainly a strange way to feel bias and resentment.

Our favorite website in the world, Clickhole (a sister site to The Onion and A.V. Club), wrote a wonderful article on 5 tragedies Adam Sandler predicted. The article is hilariously fake just like everything else on the website.

But apparently some people didn’t get it. Besides for a few twitter and facebook posts questioning how Adam Sandler knew about these tragedies, someone at Stormfront used this article to perpetuate his/her belief that Jews control the media.

stromfront-sandler

If anything of this is true, just shows how Jews do make **** happen and probably communicate via movies

Which was followed by a few hilarious replies from people that didn’t get it.

This comes as no surprise, all the Jews know what the schedule is, and follow it accordingly, with no incidents.

And then hilarious replies by people that did get it.

This article is satire. There is no-where on the web that can prove any of it. I call bull****.

Here is a bit of propheting for you that might be useful: Jews invent crazy conspiracy theories and theorists (Alex ‘shoutyhead’ Jones anyone) all the time to discredit the true ‘conspiracy’ that they have control of the government and the media.

Thank you Neo Nazis. Because of you and others that do not know how to read, Facebook will be supplying us with “satire” labels.

As humans, it is our right to marry whomever the heck we want. If the other person also wants to marry us. Except the gays, because that stuff is icky.

Sometimes it’s tough in the dating world because though are many fish in the sea, those bastards are slippery. But never fear, Jews-seeking-Jews, if you’re having trouble finding that special someone, or you’re just really tired of Jdate, it might be time to consider a matchmaker. The New York Times recently ran an article about a women named Tova Weinberg who has matched about 250 young Jewish couples in person and also runs a dating website, www.sawyouatsinai.com/

Tova Weinberg

Dr. Tova Weinberg, Former Dentist and Current Matchmaker

Tova had this to say about why she began pursuing her calling: “There was so much intermarriage in Pittsburgh, I felt I had to do something. I started talking to all these women’s organizations, I said. ‘Listen, I have men! My husband knows all these residents and interns. Give me your daughters, I have the boys!’ ”

Come on Tova, what’s so wrong with intermarriage? If ANYTHING, it’s better for the Jew species. Where has intermarriage gotten us, Jews? Respiratory problems, tay Sachs, Parkinson’s? There’s a whole list of diseases Ashkenazim are more prone to because that’s what happens when everyone decides to shtup their cousins. If you want to marry a Jew because you are an elitist for religious reasons, marry a Sephardic Jew because at least then you are doing your part to widen the gene pool.

I could rant for hours about Jewish elitism and how it’s destroying us from the inside out, but nobody really wants that. I could kvetch about how I wish Tova Weinberg was using her powerhouse talents to rid the world of hunger or actual dentistry.  But instead, I will leave you with this: I will not be satisfied until everyone in the world is the same color. I’m hoping it’s purple, but we’ll see what happens.

 

And here’s a video from Fiddler on the Roof because that musical is doooooope.

 

 

 

This Land is Mine is a beautiful / terrifying depiction of the last 6000 years in the land of Canaan / Israel / Palestine. Millennia after Millennia of war and death over the small piece of land many have called their rightful home.

The list of participating parties:

Early Man
Canaanite
Egyptian
Assyrian
Israelite
Babylonian
Macedonian/Greek
Greek/Macedonian
Ptolemaic
Seleucid
Hebrew Priest
Maccabee
Roman
Byzantine
Arab Caliph
Crusader
Mamluk of Egypt
Ottoman Turk
Arab
British
Palestinian
European Jew/Zionist
PLO/Hamas/Hezbollah
State of Israel
Guerrilla/Freedom Fighter/Terrorist
The Angel of Death