So GTA Online’s new update is called “I’m Not A Hipster.” Well… okay, but anyone could have told you that. It’s the most aptly named game update I can think of, and frankly the least likely video game franchise I’d expect “hipster” to be associated with. Come on, it’s GTA. The game is huge! Every new main title is a big event.
This patch is named for the content, which after taking a look is more about clothing choices and character appearance than anything else. The new vehicle options are not hip at all: no mopeds, fixies, or public transit to be found. And then after that, it’s just a regular game update with your average list of new options for things such as colors for cars and whatnot, along with bug fixes and game balance changes. And to further hammer home how oddly normal this whole thing is, take a look at all the GTA Online players complaining about how they wanted more of this and that and all they got was dumb fashion options. Truly, it’s the same everywhere you go.
I’m mostly confused since every hipster I know has basically given up on new videogames and can only be counted on for nostalgia gaming like going to the Barcade, or dusting off an N64 you still have for a night of Mario Kart. The big blockbuster nature of new games like the GTA and Call of Duty franchises is an entirely separate world, and it feels odd for one subculture to acknowledge the existence of the other so openly. (Although, I really should have predicted that if it ever happened, one world would end up being sold and marketed to the other.)
So who’s going to play GTA:O this weekend to get in on those sweet sweet “I’m Not A Hipster” limited events? Anyone? …As I thought, all gamers, no hipsters.