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Film students, whether they be grad students or undergrad make some pretty awful short films. I think it’s a necessary part of the learning process (learning you need to get into another field RIGHT NOW) but I can’t be sure.  There’s just something about having 0 budget and trying to make a drama featuring 5 also college-age actors on location at the university library that just doesn’t work. Or at least doesn’t work very well.

But every rule has an exception. For example, there are blond Jews. They are rare and too beautiful to look at without your retinas burning, but goshdarnit they are there.The horrible awful short film rule by film students was broken by a Mr. Eli Shapiro. Don’t even pretended to be surprised that he’s one of The People because I know you aren’t. We’ve got movie-making in our bones.

Eli’s film, “Ike Interviews God”, is about a very average accountant named Ike who is given the opportunity out of billions of humans to talk to G-d.  When G-d is all like “Yo humanity sucks and I’m destroying the world,” Ike has to step in and try to save the day. Good luck, Ike. Good luck, world.

Ike from Ike Interviews God

This is Ike. I think white men are overrated, but I still probably WOULD if you get me.

The film won first at NYU’s New Visions and Voices Festival and also screened at several other festivals. The closest I’ve gotten to a screening at a festival was flashing a group of overweight bronies at Firefly, so needless to say I’m pretty impressed***.Congrats Eli. Uncle Woody would also be impressed with your film making chops if he actually used the internet and could watch this short on Short of the Week. I mention Uncle Woody so I can throw in a shameless plug to a previous Hipster Jew post I wrote and also because Ike Interviews God is Allen-esque, that is to say in the style of a neurotic Jew doing something and being neurotic while doing it.

Anyway, without further ado, watch this shiz. You won’t be disappointed.

IKE INTERVIEWS GOD from Eli Shapiro on Vimeo.


***Just in case my mother decides to read this blog post even though she traditionally doesn’t read Hipster Jew because it’s too vulgar for her WASPy self, this is NOT TRUE. I’ve never even been to Firefly because the concept of spending ,more than $50 to hang out with basic b*tches disgusts me. And the closest I’ve gotten to flashing someone was nighttime skinny dipping at jewish camp and there wasn’t anyone around except lake snakes and leeches.


****Oh also and Mom, I’ve never had sex so any allusions to that with with the actor who plays Ike and any non-white men are just, ha, for comedy purposes OK? It’s going to be a white wedding I promise please still maybe pay for a little bit of it if I you know, ever find someone self-hating enough to marry me.

Well folks, it’s that time of year again. Marvel has a released another movie featuring one of the Avengers (this time all of them) and I am stuck again choosing which one I want to make out with the most. The trials of a young Jewess are so taxing. Yes, I realize they are fictional characters. Yes, I realize my desire to kiss the Avengers’ inhuman faces doesn’t interest Hipster Jew readers in the slightest. But for some reason, these crazy editors keep letting me pop garbage out for you to intake. So enjoy (?)

So here we are again, the competition ensues: Captain America? Thor? Ironman? The Hulk? Actually scratch out the Hulk. Mark Ruffalo is obviously a babe, but I’m not trying to get Hulk Smashed. If you get me. Such a bummer though, our fictional babies would be so smart. Sigh.

Let’s throw Black Widow into the mix because it will appease the militant feminists who pushed Joss Whedon off the Twatter. Just kidding, militant feminists, I know it wasn’t you guys, I read, OK? And I also know feminism is a good thing, and someone’s gotta fight the fight. That being said, step back from Whedon, he’s not your enemies, ya dummies! Furthermore, I kept Black Widow out of my last poll because she’s a lady and I’m deeply rooted in the closet, but this time I’m encouraging sexual fluidity. Let’s be real here, no matter what way you swing Scarlett J  is a serious hottie.

So here’s the lineup:

More Like Babe-vengers


Iron Man was off limits in the past because he seems pretty much like Pepper’s territory, buttttt homegirl didn’t appear in Age of Ultron, so I’m gonna say her opinion doesn’t really matter. Stark’s wealth, intelligence, and all around rudeness follows a certain pattern in my make out candidates, and I don’t mind keeping that pattern going.

Captain America is not really my type at all. He’s a warhawk, and I never vote for those. There’s a lot of pop culture references I know he won’t understand, and to be honest, Cap, that’s a bit of a deal breaker for me.  If he would perhaps begin smoking the rope dope and spend his time sitting at home eating Cheetos and catching up on more than 50 years of movies, television, literature, and the history of hip hop, the rules might change. A new game would be AFOOT,  but as it stands, He’s most likely out. Unless I don’t know, we make out.

Oh Hulk, I’m so sorry.

Thor is a god. And I have a very hard time trusting someone with that sort of power. There is NO way that a literal god wouldn’t have some severely narcissistic tendencies. He could be the most worthy guy in town, hammer held high, but he would always feel different/better than me (I mean have you ever seen Buffy? Duh). That being said, those muscles are pretty serious.

Black Widow has some tragically serious issues, so obviously I’m very, very interested. She’s everything I’m not really into: red-heads, Eastern Europeans, those who wear a lot of leather. But, she’s such a hardened badass yet gentle lady I just keep coming back to her. What a femme fatale. Oh gosh.

Alright now, imagine, if you will, a world in which I am able to make out with these crazy superheroes (with possibility of something a little extra) and the choice of which one I get is up to you. What a world it would be.

Who should Give A Kiss to Lil Schlitz ?

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It’s a McSweeney’s Internet Hanukkah!

Ever wonder what the best and worst Hanukkah films are?

Hint: Not the Hebrew Hammer

Oh Hai James Franco

The Duckman —  05/14/2014 —  Comments


James Franco is rumored to be playing Tommy Wiseau in the upcoming movie “The Disaster Artist,” a movie based on a book about Greg Sestro’s experiences working on “The Room.” For those who are not familiar with “The Room,” it is said to be one of the worst movies ever. So bad that it’s so funny. There are so many small, terrible moments in the movie that make it magnificent. Franco will be playing the man who wrote and starred in the movie, Tommy. They both kind of look the same in a weird, putty face way. And they both are super weird, so this should work out well. I really hope that for some reason they remake my favorite scene:

When People Die They Sing Songs from Olga Lvoff on Vimeo.

When People Die They Sings Songs was nominated for a Student Oscar(!!!) and Olga Lvoff needs some support in releasing her documentary. So we are looking to you, wonderful Hipster Jew readers to help out! Check out her Indiegogo Campaign and send over a few bills.

“When People Die They Sing Songs” is a story of mother and daughter who resolve to uncover their wartime past buried half a century ago. After suffering a stroke, 93-year-old Holocaust survivor Regina is getting music therapy. Accompanied by a music therapist, Regina sings Yiddish and French songs of her youth. Her daughter Sonia is with her at every session. This revitalizes their mother-daughter relationship and emboldens them to revisit their past. With Regina’s help, Sonia tries to capture their family story. The past they were so eager to forget they are now anxious to remember. But Regina’s memory is rapidly succumbing to dementia.

Nov 18

The Possession FEAT. Matisyahu now on Netflix


Hey people who like horror movies and/or Matisyahu before he cut off all of his hair. The Possession is now on Netflix. Watch here.

At this point, Wes Anderson could take a dump in a shoe, film it, and I’d watch the shit out of it (pun unintended). This wonderful 7 minute film, Castello Cavalcanti tells the story about an Italian-American racecar driver in Italy circa 1950 (played by Jason Schwartzman). I can only assume it’s a precursor to The Grand Budapest Hotel. It’s presented by Prada, but luckily I’m so poor I didn’t even realize until afterwards that Prada is involved…somehow…

Wes Anderson is SO hot right now.


Goodbye, Old Friend

Schlitz Lipz —  11/13/2013 —  Comments

So Blockbuster isn’t a thing anymore. Yep, that’s right. I’m assuming you didn’t realize that there were any Blockbusters left. Well there were. And now they are all gone.

Rest in peace. But seriously, Blockbuster, you were one of the best. I know it was your time to go, but that doesn’t stop it from hurting just a bit.

There’s a lot of good memories I have from my time with you. You know, like sleepovers, when my parents would take us all to Blockbuster, and they’d get a “grownup” movie and we’d walk through the aisles 3 times before we decided we were just going to get Clueless again and this time I wasn’t going to fall asleep.

You’ve always been there, Blockbuster. Before Netflix took over my life, before Redbox through in it’s moderately insignificant hand, it was you.

It was always you.

In it’s 25th year, The Boston Jewish Film Festival is bringing the best in contemporary Jewish film to the Boston area! We are psyched to be involved and bring our Hipster Jew radness to the fest. Note that The Duckman and I will be at some of these screenings — so it’s your prime opportunity to ask us to be your holidate. Here are ten films running from November 6th to the 18th that you WON’T want to miss at spots like the Coolidge Corner Theater and ICA Boston:

(Hot Jewish babe alert!) Three mismatched hot dudes men take a 500-mile road trip to Corsica to fulfill their young female friend Charlie’s dying wish. Without Charlie’s warm presence, the trip becomes an emotional journey for these unlikely friends. With delightful comic twists, spiritual discovery, including Jewish rituals, and meaningful male bonding, this LIKE BROTHERS gives an updated feel to buddy road trip stories of the past.

Saturday, November 9, 7:00 @ Museum of Fine Arts, Boston

Trailer | Tickets



BLUMENTHAL plays like a retro Woody Allen film: steered by neuroses, self-deprecating humor, and a few hijinks too, the many dysfunctional members of a New York family must address their own vulnerabilities in the midst of mourning a mercurial relative. A hilarious first feature from a brilliant young writer/director, Seth Fisher, who also stars as the romance-challenged yet ever-likeable Ethan.

Saturday, November 9, 9:30 @ Coolidge Corner Theater (Director/Actor Seth Fisher will be there in person)

Trailer | Tickets

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Oh Woody Allen, finally doing something different! And seemingly clever and fun! Oh wait, John Turturro wrote it, which is why it’s different? Well we had Midnight in Paris. I’m glad Woody Allen was willing to act as a Jewish older pimp friend. If only he donned his mother’s fur and found a cane.

Sex and the City meets Deuce Bigalow. And Turturro doesn’t murder/molest anyone! Count me in.