Archives For Commercials

Look, I can’t say for certain that the couple in the ‘Catch Jeremy’ commercials are Jewish. All I can say is that they commercials are as annoying as any commercial in my lifetime. But you have to wonder – is T-Mobile trading off of Jewish stereotypes of parents being super stingy with cell phone bills? Is that even a stereotype about Jews? Is every parent stingy about it? Or is it just every Jewish parent that is stingy about it, and that’s why it’s no longer a stereotype?

The earliest terrible phone commercial I remember was for ATT Collect. It was about a guy who was calling his parents to tell them he had a baby boy. The problem was that the son was a cheap asshole (was he ALSO Jewish?). When his dad received a call, it was a collect call from ‘WEHADABABYEETZABOY‘. This new series takes the bait as stupidest.

It’s day 10 and the bill has reached $4,243 in overseas data bills. One photo he shared were two eggs. What’s next? Bread and butter? T-Mobile’s nationwide network just went global…

How stereotypical can it sound? Are we ‘catching’ Jeremy to send him somewhere dark and scary? (His Mom’s basement, not the Holocaust, jeez.)

I hope the Grand Prize is eternal happiness, or at least your parents being eternally happy with you.

If some German students had their way, Mercedes would have put this commercial out onto the internet.

This brings it all back to the question: Could you kill Hitler? Could you kill child Hitler? Could you kill baby Hitler?

Time travelers will have it tough if that’s ever invented!

Either way, Germany, you don’t need to do this for the Jews. We like you. We love you. We know you’ve changed. But thanks for the laugh.

//Gawker

NOOOOOOOOOOO Why does everyone sell out? You used to be so cool and punk and anti-establishment! Remember people, this is how it works. You meet a sketch guy who gets a job at SNL (super sell-out!), and then you create a show on IFC (not at all selling out), and then you do some shitty commercial for a super large money-sucking middle-class molesting credit card company. Thanks Carrie Brownstein. Now it’s just a matter of time before my family sells me down the river to act in a Abercrombie and Fitch commercial.

Here’s the commercial of the Flaming Lips at the Superbowl. They sold out. But it’s okay, because no one cares and no one knows what ‘selling out’ really means. Horay for apathy!

Most importantly most of the 100 million+ people watching the Superbowl didn’t even know who they were.

All I learned from the Superbowl this year is that I should get into advertising and make better commercials, or just watch Superbowl commercials from 2002 and pitch some ideas to a media conglomerate because god were all the commercials awful or what?

Did you already forget what car company was shilling? Don’t worry. If you go to their website you can get a free download of this Flaming Lips track.

“Hyundai really understands and appreciates what the Flaming Lips are all about,” says Lori Feldman, Warner Bros. Records senior VP of brand partnerships.

Corporations are people after all. And corporations love the Flaming Lips.

//billboard.com

jesse-heiman-bar-refaeli-superbowl

As many of you know, Bar Refaeli was in a Go Daddy commercial. Most web people have lists of the best and worst hosting companies. Most lists put 1and1.com and Go Daddy at 99 and 100. (ed. note: We currently run our site with 1and1.com and would love for someone to come and save us). In this specific commercial, she made out with a chubby, Jewfro wearing, nerdy guy. I am disgusted. Partially for the fact that it wasn’t me. But mostly because Go Daddy sucks. How could you sell yourself to the lowest common denominator in web hosting? Is that why you made out with a guy that doesn’t look like Leonardo DeCaprio?

Okay. But lets talk about this guy. Who is he? Where did he come from? And why does he look familiar (other than the fact we all went to hebrew school with him). The lucky guy that got to make out with Bar Refaeli… most likely in multiple takes… He has pretty much been in every movie and tv show you’ve ever watched in the past 10 years. Don’t believe me?

This guy has been slowly taking over the entertainment industry and this is the first time you’ve ever heard of him? Well his name is Jesse Heiman and he has a youtube channel.

Congrats on your big break, man!

With the Super Bowl a few days away, it’s about time we start presenting the most mainstream televised event of the year. Everyone will be watching it. The jocks will. Your mom will. You will, even if you pretend not to care to keep up appearances you fucking hoopster. You don’t have a TV but you’ll find a friend who does, you mooching bastard.

This year the comedic superstars Seth Rogen, Paul Rudd, and Bob Odenkirk are in a Samsung commercial teaser.. I’m sure it’s because they got paid a shit ton to ‘act’ in it. I’ve seen those three in so many different visual mediums that I expect to see them in my bathroom mirror if I say their name 3 times backwards.

PS Anyone else notice how old (and manly sexy) Seth Rogen is looking? Hubbuh hubbuh.

//popwatch

Well played Internet Explorer. Everyone kind of hates you, just like everyone kind of hates Safari. But you’ve played on the greatest nostalgia generation of our time: The 90s. Whether you were born in the 80s and actually lived through the 90s, or were born in the 90s and only knew about the 90s through VH1′s I Love the 90s series, we all wish we were still living during the time of MTV and Beavis and Butthead.

Let’s tally all the different forms of 90s nostalgia that IE mentioned in their ad.

  • Slap on bracelets
  • Ying Yangs
  • Yo-yos
  • Answering machines
  • 3 1/2 inch floppy discs
  • Colorful folders
  • Fanny packs
  • Oregon Trail
  • Tamagachi
  • Troll dolls
  • Lunchables
  • Walkmen
  • Super soaker
  • Pump up shoes
  • Hungry Hungry Hippos
  • Terrible bowl cuts
  • Wallets with chains
  • Studded belts
  • Pogs and slammers
  • Light up shoes
  • Basketball (jk)
  • Dial up internet

Well played IE. Well played.


Finally people! I’ve made it to the big leagues. I’m famous. I’m in a commercial. Not just any commercial! A local commercial. The best kind of commercials. The ones where you can get all crazy, amped up on little green pills, and kick your way through a couple hours of shooting. So if you live in Vermont and you have cable access (Pshaw, only corporate-loving losers have cable, or TV, for that matter. But I do really like Game of Thrones, which is totally okay and consistent logic.), go watch it on some local access channel.

If you don’t, and you want to see me act as a terrible employee (it’s such a stretch, I know, har har har har har), then watch below. Definitely will be worth the 30 seconds of your life.

If you like it, please share. I wanna be famous by Sunday. Not famous famous. Just famewhore-y Kim Kardashian famous.

P.S. anyone know how I get an official credit for this? I need to show my grandchildren this in the future so they knew pop-pop wasn’t a total failure. And yes, they will call me ‘pop-pop’.

So many words, so little time. I’m going to leave this one to Youtube user WeirdBeach so elegantly stated:

“such a fucking beautiful,vulnerable song used to peddle shit”

Hide your faces, brave indie knights of the music world. The darkness has come. It has swallowed us whole.

If you are looking for a really stupid comment on this video, leave it to whoever is in charge of Axe’s social meadia/youtube account for this award-winning advertising gem:

It’s not our fault we’re visual creatures.

WHAT THE FUCK DOES VISUALS THAT HAVE TO DO WITH SCENTED ODORS, ADVERTISING DIPSHITS?

Cry Daniel. Cry.


Pictured Above: Aziz Ansari, getting paid to ‘act’ in an Am-Ex commercial

Has Aziz gone corporate? Is he trying to attract the ‘JAP crowd’ who enjoys liberal use of Daddy’s AmEx? Should we lament the death of ‘Hipster comedians’? OR are you too jaded to care? Did you predict that Aziz would ‘sell out’ when you saw him in that alt comedy club in the Village in 2004 before he had ‘made it’ big on MTV? Did you cry tears of shame when Human Giant was on MTV?

More importantly, Aziz has just made ‘Facebook stalking’ go mainstream. He’s ruined my entire fucking game. Now my mom will know what I do when I say ‘I’m too busy to talk to her’. All those girls I meet and attempt to date will realize that petite men like myself and Aziz Ansari are creepy. THANKS AZIZ. You ruined Facebook stalking for creepy little trolls everywhere.