Archives For EnterTweenMent

I’d like to start of the Chicago portion of this process with this fun fact about Chicago: according to some Chi-town residents, Chicago is not called the windy city because it is next to a giant and crazy amazing beautiful lake which causes great winds but because of the hot air of the politicians. All I have to say about that, is politicians are windy everywhere. But not every city has a ginormous, bluer than the bluest blue, lake of wonder.

Lake Michigan

Only Mildly Edited for Instagram!

After a long journey between the abysses (plural of abyss? I don’t know.) that are Ohio and Indiana, in which I listened to hours upon hours of some sort of true crime show on XM radio, I made it to Chicago right during rush hour. Nothing like a rush hour when your bladder is full, am I right? My goal for the day was to make it to Chicago with enough time to settle into my friend Sean’s home and then speed off to an improv show at The iO Theater. I was lucky enough to see Bunk Seven, a Harold team comprised of several talented individuals including a few buds of mine from the olde Temple U days. I used to watch these kids perform in sketch and improv all the time back in the day and it was really exciting to see how they had improved in their craft over the years. If you’re in Chicago and searching for a good improv show. I’d head over to iO.

The first half of Saturday I spent cruising Lake Michigan with My Sweet Genevieve. I’ve definitely got a thing for bodies of water, when I travel I always try to hit one up, but Lake Michigan may have marked it’s space in my heart as my favorite. I spent most of the time at Lake Michigan just wandering Lake Shore Drive but I did spot a delightful trapeze school and Belmont Harbor Dog Beach. Aaaand parking was free between Labor Day and Memorial Day. Magical place, Chicago.

Belmont Harbor Beach

The one on the left is kept trying to mount everybody.

The next half of I headed over to Evanston, where Northwestern University is located, to meet an old high school buddy who I hadn’t seen in five years after we got into a small fight over nothing and I told him “I would never speak to him ever again”, Joel. Apparently when I need a place to stay, I’ll forgive anything. We walked around the cute little town where there was some sort of art festival. In the few months that it’s warm in Chicago, there are a lot of art festivals in Evanston so if you’re headed that way, take a gander. It’s also worthwhile to head to Evanston for the cute shops/restaurants and beautiful Northwestern campus. While I was walking through there I couldn’t help but think “this could have been my life…why didn’t I transfer to Northwestern when Joel did? I’m a fool.” But then I remembered that Chicago is freezing and everyone here thinks they are the next Tina Fey and I decided Philly had been a good choice of place to grow into the fledgling adult I am today. Besides, Tina is from the Philly area so if I want to be the next “her” I’m just as on track as the Chicago kids.

The next day Genny and I headed to brunch at Tweet, near my one true love Lake Michigan, with some Chicago buddies and the lady who would be joining us on the rest of our travels, Christine. Tweet was everything: the decor was cuter than a place Cinderella would spruce up, the food was yum yum, and the cocktails were works of art. Meanwhile, the staff was really accomodating, allowing a gazillion of us to sit outside at a huge table and providing complimentary coffee while we waited to be seated.  The only downside was that Genny had to sit on the outside of the gated seated area, something her anxiety-ridden little brain could not handle. She spent most of the meal whining at me with her paws propped up on a flower basket attached to the iron fence.

Flower Pup

Like so.

After brunch, Christine and I stopped by Lake Michigan for a brief photo-taking session and then went on to Wicker Park.  Everybody told us Wicker Park was cool, so we went for it. And it was pretty cool. The actual park at Wicker Park is nice and it’s fun to walk in a specific neighborhood in a city because I like the ungodly combo of people-watching/architecture. I was slightly disappointed that most of the stores seemed like chains, but who am I to make comments about window-shopping? The only snag in our little Wicker Park journey was was that we missed The 606, which is an abandoned railroad track turned aboveground park. Right after I returned from Wicker Park, one of my friends informed me this park existed and I was sad. So sad.

That night Joel took me out with his Chitown buddies to Rosa’s Lounge, a jazz and blues club.  I had been told that Green Mill Cocktail Lounge was the jazz venue I wanted to see, once frequented by personal heroes of mine such as Al Capone, So at first I was a little bummed we were going to some place I had never heard of. I proceeded to get more grouchy when the cover charge was $20 when it is usually $12. But they served $15 pitchers of Stella and the music just got better and better as the night went on. The crowd was whacky: full of locals who have been going to the bar for decades, couples who were making dance babies on the floor, and the occaisonal crew of young music enthusiasts such as ourselves. The bartenders seem to know everyone at the bar and I ended up getting a free shot from one of them for some reason.  Around 2 in the morning after dancing for an hour straight to the riveting tones of a man who sounded a lot like an Evangelical minister, we decided it might be time to finish the night. I later found out you aren’t allowed to speak at all during the sets at Green Mill, so in hindsight I’m pretty stoked on Rosa’s.

This is a video I found on Rosa’s website

The next morning, after falling asleep at the ungodly hour of 4 AM, I woke up at the even ungodlier hour of 8:30 to pick up Christine and make our way to Omaha, where we have a friend in medical school. Im going to just throw at this pro-tip that driving in unfamiliar traffic when you are exhausted is not actually the best idea. At one point I made a grievious traffic error in which the backseat of my car toppled onto Genevieve after a very ferocious jolt. Thank G-d my veterinarian prescribed the pup some Xanax or she would have heavy-breathed her way across America after a seat attack such as that.

With Chicago under our belts, we began the not-as-flat-as-i-was-expecting journey through the Midwest. Stay tuned for Omaha and Kansas, the midwestern hot-spots that I will try to convince you are not as terrible as they sound. It’s going to be a blast.

Mission from God

“We’re on a mission from God”

Travel Tip: Never travel during vacation season so you can always find free parking wherever you go.

…. and it keeps getting better and better every time.

Film students, whether they be grad students or undergrad make some pretty awful short films. I think it’s a necessary part of the learning process (learning you need to get into another field RIGHT NOW) but I can’t be sure.  There’s just something about having 0 budget and trying to make a drama featuring 5 also college-age actors on location at the university library that just doesn’t work. Or at least doesn’t work very well.

But every rule has an exception. For example, there are blond Jews. They are rare and too beautiful to look at without your retinas burning, but goshdarnit they are there.The horrible awful short film rule by film students was broken by a Mr. Eli Shapiro. Don’t even pretended to be surprised that he’s one of The People because I know you aren’t. We’ve got movie-making in our bones.

Eli’s film, “Ike Interviews God”, is about a very average accountant named Ike who is given the opportunity out of billions of humans to talk to G-d.  When G-d is all like “Yo humanity sucks and I’m destroying the world,” Ike has to step in and try to save the day. Good luck, Ike. Good luck, world.

Ike from Ike Interviews God

This is Ike. I think white men are overrated, but I still probably WOULD if you get me.

The film won first at NYU’s New Visions and Voices Festival and also screened at several other festivals. The closest I’ve gotten to a screening at a festival was flashing a group of overweight bronies at Firefly, so needless to say I’m pretty impressed***.Congrats Eli. Uncle Woody would also be impressed with your film making chops if he actually used the internet and could watch this short on Short of the Week. I mention Uncle Woody so I can throw in a shameless plug to a previous Hipster Jew post I wrote and also because Ike Interviews God is Allen-esque, that is to say in the style of a neurotic Jew doing something and being neurotic while doing it.

Anyway, without further ado, watch this shiz. You won’t be disappointed.

IKE INTERVIEWS GOD from Eli Shapiro on Vimeo.


***Just in case my mother decides to read this blog post even though she traditionally doesn’t read Hipster Jew because it’s too vulgar for her WASPy self, this is NOT TRUE. I’ve never even been to Firefly because the concept of spending ,more than $50 to hang out with basic b*tches disgusts me. And the closest I’ve gotten to flashing someone was nighttime skinny dipping at jewish camp and there wasn’t anyone around except lake snakes and leeches.


****Oh also and Mom, I’ve never had sex so any allusions to that with with the actor who plays Ike and any non-white men are just, ha, for comedy purposes OK? It’s going to be a white wedding I promise please still maybe pay for a little bit of it if I you know, ever find someone self-hating enough to marry me.

Wet Hot American Summer is coming back with a 8 episode prequel to the 2001 movie via Netflix. Yes, that’s right! The 14 years older actors will be playing younger versions of the young camp counselors in the movie. So as you can assume, there is nothing else that I care about in this world than watching those 8 episodes. I will fondle some sweaters to get my hands on these episodes. I will run 50 miles to watch these episodes. I will… you get the point.

If you haven’t seen Wet Hot American Summer, you can go to Netflix and watch it right now.

Still not convinced? Look at this amazing cast!

Still not convinced? Get the fuck out! We don’t want your pageviews.

July 31st baby!



I do not care about spoilers. I do not care if I mention a major plot line from a movie. I do not care if you tell me the ending to a book. In fact, please tell me the ending to the book you’re currently reading. I want to know what’s going to happen in Game of Thrones. I want to know who the new undead bad guys in the Walking Dead comic book are. I want to know everything and I have no time to watch / read / listen it myself. So please, in the comments write all the spoilers you can!

Fuck you and your fucking spoilers. I know I said I don’t mind you telling me about Game of Thrones and other stories I like, but I absolutely hate that within the first 24 hours every website is showing a gif of “that scene” that you have to see. You know what I’m talking about! The scene with the shocking death/dragon/revenge/battle. I hate it. I go home that night and I am constantly wondering “when am I going to see that scene that I just saw.” (Say that 5 times fast.) And of course it’s at the end…

Then you have the recent Simpsons incident. Al Jean attempted to give us a few spoilers about the upcoming Simpsons season. One thing he said that got people angry was that Bart is going to finally be killed by Sideshow Bob. It’s a Treehouse of horror episode so who cares. Then he said that Homer and Marge are going to separate and Homer will date a character voiced by Lena Dunham. People freaked out that Homer and Marge were getting a divorce (they’re not). Yet no one freaked out the 40 other times they separated, or the one time that they actually got a divorce, or the 80 times Homer/Marge had romantic feelings for someone else. Without this dumb spoiler I wouldn’t have to sit through two days of everyone on facebook bitching about nothing.

God damnit stop spoiling. Go forth and spoil.

Well folks, it’s that time of year again. Marvel has a released another movie featuring one of the Avengers (this time all of them) and I am stuck again choosing which one I want to make out with the most. The trials of a young Jewess are so taxing. Yes, I realize they are fictional characters. Yes, I realize my desire to kiss the Avengers’ inhuman faces doesn’t interest Hipster Jew readers in the slightest. But for some reason, these crazy editors keep letting me pop garbage out for you to intake. So enjoy (?)

So here we are again, the competition ensues: Captain America? Thor? Ironman? The Hulk? Actually scratch out the Hulk. Mark Ruffalo is obviously a babe, but I’m not trying to get Hulk Smashed. If you get me. Such a bummer though, our fictional babies would be so smart. Sigh.

Let’s throw Black Widow into the mix because it will appease the militant feminists who pushed Joss Whedon off the Twatter. Just kidding, militant feminists, I know it wasn’t you guys, I read, OK? And I also know feminism is a good thing, and someone’s gotta fight the fight. That being said, step back from Whedon, he’s not your enemies, ya dummies! Furthermore, I kept Black Widow out of my last poll because she’s a lady and I’m deeply rooted in the closet, but this time I’m encouraging sexual fluidity. Let’s be real here, no matter what way you swing Scarlett J  is a serious hottie.

So here’s the lineup:

More Like Babe-vengers


Iron Man was off limits in the past because he seems pretty much like Pepper’s territory, buttttt homegirl didn’t appear in Age of Ultron, so I’m gonna say her opinion doesn’t really matter. Stark’s wealth, intelligence, and all around rudeness follows a certain pattern in my make out candidates, and I don’t mind keeping that pattern going.

Captain America is not really my type at all. He’s a warhawk, and I never vote for those. There’s a lot of pop culture references I know he won’t understand, and to be honest, Cap, that’s a bit of a deal breaker for me.  If he would perhaps begin smoking the rope dope and spend his time sitting at home eating Cheetos and catching up on more than 50 years of movies, television, literature, and the history of hip hop, the rules might change. A new game would be AFOOT,  but as it stands, He’s most likely out. Unless I don’t know, we make out.

Oh Hulk, I’m so sorry.

Thor is a god. And I have a very hard time trusting someone with that sort of power. There is NO way that a literal god wouldn’t have some severely narcissistic tendencies. He could be the most worthy guy in town, hammer held high, but he would always feel different/better than me (I mean have you ever seen Buffy? Duh). That being said, those muscles are pretty serious.

Black Widow has some tragically serious issues, so obviously I’m very, very interested. She’s everything I’m not really into: red-heads, Eastern Europeans, those who wear a lot of leather. But, she’s such a hardened badass yet gentle lady I just keep coming back to her. What a femme fatale. Oh gosh.

Alright now, imagine, if you will, a world in which I am able to make out with these crazy superheroes (with possibility of something a little extra) and the choice of which one I get is up to you. What a world it would be.

Who should Give A Kiss to Lil Schlitz ?

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I don’t mean to stuff your existences with old news. And by old news I mean, circa Tuesday. As I said, old news. But here I go.

Madonna crashed Drake’s set at Coachella and performed Human Nature with our favorite Nice Jewish Boy. That was weird enough, to be honest. But Madonna is a Material Girl and can do whatever the hell she wants, so you know, it’s alright. But then, it got a lot stranger when Madonna planted a fat one on Drake.

Which again was OK, I guess. I mean they’re both sort of Jewish. I think Madonna was into Kaballah for a little bit. Not that I mind it when Jews and non-Jews bump uglies, in fact I encourage it (Tay Sachs people, it’s a THING). Not to mention, it was kinda hot at first. But then, Madonna took it to darn far. I don’t know exactly was running through MDNA’s brain when she decided to go all in like two teenagers making out in the back of someone’s mom’s minivan. Judge for yourself:


Now, according to the internet (why the hell is Business Insider writing about this?), Drake is saying that we all misunderstood when he stated post-kiss: “What the f-ck just happened?” In fact, literally wiping the kiss from his mouth was clearly a sign of great appreciation. #RapperDrake, do you really think my attention span is that short? I CAN WATCH THE VIDEO ON 30,000 DIFFERENT WEBSITES and your reaction doesn’t look pleased in any one of them.

I get that Drake is scared of the Madonna fans, or getting called ageist, or something along those lines. But come on Drake, we’ll love you no matter what you do. Even though you’re probably really gross because being a celebrity has killed your soul.

Regardless, Madonna needs to back up because I took a “What Famous Nice Jewish Boy Is Your Soulmate” and I got Drake. So stand down, Queen of Pop. Every little thing that you say or do, Im hung up on you(r relationship with my Buzzfeed soulmate).<3 Drake

Dear Drake, Please be “The Best I Ever Had”

“Humor is too volatile for the humorless.” – Art Spiegelman

Hey look! It’s a double ad for Sleater-Kinney’s new album “No Cities To Love” and Bob’s Burgers which is on Sundays on Fox (I am good at this).

No but seriously, both brands know exactly who they are targeting. If you love Tina you probably love Sleater-Kinney. If you love Sleater-Kinney, you probably love Tina. It’s a match made in horse heaven.

Our favorite comedian in the entire world and the queen of dark comedy, Jessie Kahnweiler, is back with another uncomfortable comedic web series called “The Skinny!” Instead of taking us through an awkward tour of Jessie finding her roots, or asking black guys if they would bang her, or making us laugh while talking about how she’s felt after being raped, we’re going to see her issues with bulimia!

Even if awkward comedy isn’t your thing, Jessie’s work has been nothing less than inspirational, powerful and absolutely hilarious. That’s why we give The Skinny the Hipster Jew thumbs up. Help get this series into our hands and into our minds and support her kickstarter, dumbies!