Archives For Fashion

It only took a few weeks, but Dov Charney is back with American Apparel. After a video surfaced of Dov walking in the nude around employees, American Apparel decided to ax Dov from his own company. After years of sticking up for Dov’s alleged pervy / abusive behavior, the board of directors had enough. At least enough to give Dov a short vacation from the company, only to hire him back as a creative consultant. Welcome back Dov!

And now for no reason at all, here is a video of Dov Charney (Rich Fulcher) and Terry Richardson (Moshe Kasher) looking for America’s Next Sick Fuck.

It’s Tuesday and I’m checking my email. What does The Duckman send me to write on today? It’s an American Apparel advertisement with this headline:

Remember, You’re Part of the Family! Take 30% Off Next Purchase.

Below I find a picture that will change my life. It’s an overtly 1980s picture of Dov Charney’s family, pre-Bar Mitzvah.

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Suddenly, I knew what I had to do. I had to write a piece of Dov Charney fan fiction based off of this picture. So here goes.

Dov looked nervously at his Bar Mitzvah portion. He knew it by heart – heck, he practiced it hundreds of times while strolling down Crescent Street, gawking at all the obvious, gauche tourists stumbling half-drunken in the cold, winter Montreal sun. Today was different – today was the day he’d finally become a man.

Last week he had bought deodorant and a razer. Sure, puberty still hadn’t truly touched his childish body, but he was a man, damnit, and nobody could take that away from him. He didn’t know why, but it was that same week that he finally noticed clothing styles – not in the way that a typical 12-year-old would love soccer and football and hockey jerseys. Dov understood fashion. He knew that 1982 was going to be the height of fashion – the glasses, the short shorts, the creepiness of it all.

First, Dov had to become a man. That’s where his family helped.

The day before Dov read his Torah portion, he took a picture with his family, the type of picture that would be personified by his future Instagram-loving clientele. In front of him was Uncle Leo, the middle-aged uncle who taught him how to drink shots of schnops before Saturday services. To his right was the uncle that lent him his first nudie mag – Playboy’s November 1981 with Shannon Lee Tweed on the cover. Oh how he loved to think dirty, dirty thoughts about Shannon.

As the photographer set up the shot, Dov just wished his uncle, the famous architect Moshe Safdie, was attending his Bar Mitzvah. How Dov wished to be an architect one day; a man of the arts, famous for his artistic integrity and slavery to the finest details.

Later, Dov would attend Choate Rosemary Hall in Connecticut, a boarding school that JFK once attended. He’d start his own business and become a successful businessman-creeper. For now he was just a regular 13 year old, celebrating with family and thinking about girls. Always about the girls.

Because at American Apparel, when you’re family…

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It’s 30%. And Sexy.

After Vogue released a few photos from the Lena Dunham photoshoot, Jezebel put a bounty on the untouched photos. And without hesitation the world delivered. While most of the images were barely touched, this one had the most “fixes.”
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And from here we will actually not bother wondering why Lena Dunham allowed such a thing to happen. Or what this means in the greater realm of things. Instead we will just post Lena’s latest tweet which I assume has to do with this non controversy.

UPDATE

In an interview with Slate, Lena Dunham responds to the criticism to her Vogue photoshoot.

I understand that for people there is a contradiction between what I do and being on the cover of Vogue; but frankly I really don’t know what the photoshopping situation is, I can’t look at myself really objectively in that way. I know that I felt really like Vogue supported me and wanted to put a depiction of me on the cover. I never felt bullied into anything; I felt really happy because they dressed me and styled me in a way that really reflects who I am. And I felt that was very lucky and that all the editors understood my persona, my creativity and who I am. I haven’t been keeping track of all the reactions, but I know some people have been very angry about the cover and that confuses me a little. I don’t understand why, photoshop or no, having a woman who is different than the typical Vogue cover girl, could be a bad thing.

A fashion magazine is like a beautiful fantasy. Vogue isn’t the place that we go to look at realistic women, Vogue is the place that we go to look at beautiful clothes and fancy places and escapism and so I feel like if the story reflects me and I happen to be wearing a beautiful Prada dress and surrounded by beautiful men and dogs, what’s the problem? If they want to see what I really look like go watch the show that I make every single week.

Movember is back! Whether you are celebrating or not, you can always support one of your friend’s decision to look like a pedophile for a month. Anything for cancer research, right? This year, like last year, Movember is being supported by the best mustache since Burt Reynolds, Nick Offerman of Parks and Rec.

Are you growing a mustache this year? Ladies, this includes you too! How about Beardvember? No Shave November? Novembeard?

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Pork Magazine is selling some sweet self-hating Jewish swag, and just in time for Thanksgiving/Hannukah! Sometimes the best way to piss off your family is to wear a Jewish Cross/Star. I suppose if you’re also one of those half Christian-Jews, then you could wear this too. Either way, this is the hot gift of 2013. Hell, probably best to also get this tattooed to your chest.

Buy your mom’s least favorite Hanukkah gift here.

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While I was in Los Angeles, I went to the home of my people: The American Apparel factory store. Oh man, was I in heaven. I can’t say enough about American Apparel pants and v-necks. Nothing has ever fit so well on my bony ass and felt so good. But while I was there, I noticed who was posing on the in-store banners. The CEO himself, Dov Charney. I don’t know about you, but this looks all too familiar, but in a more fashionable way. Lookin’ good Dov.

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The game everyone loves to play, Hipster or Hasid, just got harder. American Apparel is now advertising to Hasidic Jews. Meet Yoel Weisshaus! The hot Hasidic Brooklyn garment salesman. I am so jealous right now considering I own those pants (now shorts) and I was about to buy that shirt in LA. When will I get my chance to model for Am Appy?

// via American Apparel via Reddit

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If you have a business idea, or live in Brooklyn, and need funding, this is probably not the website for you. Clearly the best ideas have been taken. But if you’re looking to LOL at HIPSTERS and how UNORIGINAL their originality is, then this is the perfect website. A Brooklyn Hipster Business Generator. Not gonna lie, I want a slap bracelet.

//Laughingsquid

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Pitchfork! The land of totally-not-pretentiousness has a clothing spread in the Wall Street Journal (see how uncool they are now guys?). Now let’s delve into their clothing style, musical taste, and other totally normal not-at-all annoying influences!

RJ Bentler, vice president of video programming, cites ’90s rap and the Glasgow band Orange Juice for his buttoned-to-the-top shirt style. “I’m definitely a Glaswegian wannabe,” he said, ”and I feel like it looks better.”

Wait. Did you seriously not know Orange Juice? They’re a really original 1980s band that sounds nothing like 1980s music. Hahahaha JK you idiots if you listened to Orange Juice you’d know that!

“People hear Pitchfork and think everyone is dressed in super skinny jeans and flannel, but it’s more of a range,” said Ms. Battan, who usually wears black. “You can dress as up or as down as you want.” She said the interns are often the best dressed in the office. “I find that college students are really into what they wear and how they dress,” she said. “More so than people who are used to being around an office and don’t care as much anymore.”

As far as fashion influences from the music world, Ms. Battan looks to the late 1990s. “I really like Fiona Apple’s aesthetic when she was first starting out, and also Lauryn Hill, when they were both at the beginning of their careers.”

Would it be too much to ask if Ms Battan would want to write for free for us? She clearly knows how to be self-deprecating. Talking about how vain college girls are while she totally isn’t – unless you count late 1990s fashion, including early Fiona Apple, as an influence. TOTALLY DIFFERENT, you guys!

Although to be honest, everyone is dressed really nicely and I would totally talk with them and be their friend based just on the clothes they wear.

//WallStreetJournal

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Just a friendly reminder to all the ugly people on OKCupid living near Arlington, Texas: Tonight the Texas Rangers are playing the Seattle Mariners and are giving away free fedoras.

If you are going to the game, please take as many photos as you can and send them to me and that website that hates fedoras. I need a good laugh.