Archives For Who Wants a HJ?

galia

Nickname: galia melon, because apparently I was named after a fruit.
Location: London (baby)
Occupation: English teacher – providing Shakespeareances for all.
But your mother always dreamed you would become: married to a ‘nice Jewish boy’ and make her some grandbabies.
Level of Jewishness/Hipsterness: Well, I’ve been there and got the t-shirt. Literally.
I am a doodette in her kitchen looking for a dude to feed, constantly, like, every 5 minutes.

If you could be a typeface, which one would you pick?
I’m a Calibri kinda girl. Comic Sans gives me rage blackouts.

How do you take your coffee?
White, no sugar – I’m sweet enough. But not before asking if you want something to nosh from the kitchen before I sit down.

Favourite vegan dish your mother makes:
I’m not sure I understand the question…

Oh baby, tell me what you put on your bagel.
Cream cheese and smoked salmon (with black pepper and lemon) – some things should just be left classic.

What’s the first song on your make out mix?
Marvin Gaye – Let’s Get It On. Those first three notes get me every time. Pretty much self explanatory…

When you make ‘bad decisions’, what is your drink of choice?
Rum is always my drink of choice, for there is no situation that cannot be enhanced or rectified with the imitation of pirates.

What is the most obscure band you’ve ever seen?
The Yiddish Twist Orchestra – exactly what you’d imagine it to be. But oh so much more.


If you would like to submit your own profile for Who Wants A HJ, please send an email to love [at] hipsterjew [dot] com. All applicants encouraged to email! If you find yourself in love with one of our Hipster Jews and want to get in contact with them, send an email to love [at] hipsterjew [dot] com.

marczg

Nickname: Marc Z. G.
Location: Israel/Toronto/hopefully Brooklyn soon
Age: 23
Occupation: IDF Soldier/Blogger
But your mother always dreamt you would become: A lawyer.
Level of Jewishness / Hipsterness: I maintain a blog called The Only Living Vegan In The IDF. ‘Nuff said.
I am a Boychik looking for a Girlchick.

If you could be a typeface, which one would you pick?
The, uh, one Apple uses all the time…

How do you take your coffee?
Don’t drink coffee. It tweaks me out.

Favorite vegan dish your mother makes:
She orders Indian food for me and puts it on a plate. I enjoy it immensely and eat the leftovers for the rest of the week.

Oh baby, tell me what you put on your bagel.
Hummus and tomatoes.

Whats the first song on your make out mix?

Either “Tonight, Tonight” by The Smashing Pumpkins or “When You Sleep” by My Bloody Valentine.

When you make ‘bad decisions’, what is your drink of choice?
PROTEIN SHAKE AND KICK THAT BAD DECISION IN THE FACE!

What is the most obscure band you’ve ever seen?
I’m just going to answer this with a band I haven’t seen live called Beef Terminal. It’s an inside joke between me and a buddy. It’s the most ‘hipster-band-y’ name of all time. Actually not bad music.

If you would like to submit your own profile for Who Wants A HJ, please send an email to love [at] hipsterjew [dot] com. All applicants encouraged to email! If you find yourself in love with one of our Hipster Jews and want to get in contact with them, send an email to love [at] hipsterjew [dot] com.

crunk

Nickname: Manischewitz Crunk
Location: Sacramento, CA
Occupation: starving artist.
But your mother always dreamed you would become: a lawyer, in true Jew fashion. She knew better than to dream of my becoming a doctor. But her wish may come true if I get my PhD in English. Don’t all Jewish mothers dream of a doctor?
Level of Jewishness / Hipsterness: 100% Jew purebred. 100% Hipster Jew. I am the poster child.

I am a WOMAN looking for a MAN

How do you take your coffee?
With coffeemate pumpkin spice creamer. Damn you seasonal flavors.

Favorite vegan dish your mother makes:
Meatloaf. Hipster Jew or no, we don’t play that game.

Oh baby, tell me what you put on your bagel.
I slowly slather a big dollop of cream cheese on my freshly toasted everything bagel, seductively smearing the white cream all over the body of the bagel, paying extra special attention to fill the hole.

When you make ‘bad decisions’, what is your drink of choice?
TEQUILA! ole.

What is the most obscure band you’ve ever seen?
You’ve never heard of them. DUH.

Anything else you’d like to add?
My mother thinks I am quite the catch.

Shirley is the furry little guy with me in the picture.

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dvid_silva_who_wants_hj

Nickname: DvidSilva
Age:  0x00000018
Location: ChillyBogotá
Occupation: senior developer/metaphysical engineer

But your mother always dreamed you would become: a son
Level of Jewishness / Hipsterness: xyeshiva bachur / mac is too mainstream for me I use linux from scratch
I am a cable looking for a plug

If you could be a typeface, which one would you pick?
ubuntu

How do you take your coffee?
free

Favorite vegan dish your mother makes:
Chicken ain’t meat right?

Oh baby, tell me what you put on your bagel.
Nutella

Whats the first song on your make out mix?
track1-unknown artist

When you make ‘bad decisions’, what is your drink of choice?
Aguardiente

What is the most obscure band you’ve ever seen?
Gogol bordelo

Who wants an HJ - Yesha

Nickname: Yesha
Location: Springfield, Missouri
Occupation: Custodian
But your mother always dreamt you would become: Superman.
Level of Jewishness / Hipsterness: I wear tzitzis and kippahs with skinny jeans, Supras, and vintage boots. Eclectic swagger.
I am a Jew-clectic dude looking for a Jew-clectic Dudette

If you could be a typeface, which one would you pick?
Daft Punk

How do you take your coffee?
Coffee? More like kosher wine with snickers.

Favorite vegan dish your mother makes:
Since Mami was a Puerto Rican, arro con pollo

Oh baby, tell me what you put on your bagel.
Adobo with chicken

Whats the first song on your make out mix?
Wow?

When you make ‘bad decisions’, what is your drink of choice?
Kool-Aid

What is the most obscure band you’ve ever seen?
The Bloody Beetroots

If you would like to submit your own profile for Who Wants A HJ, please send an email to love [at] hipsterjew [dot] com. All applicants encouraged to email! If you find yourself in love with one of our Hipster Jews and want to get in contact with them, send an email to love [at] hipsterjew [dot] com.

Nickname: Ripka
Location: Cambridge, MA
Occupation: Artist, and profresh pastry hustler to the MIT bro crowd
But your mother always dreamt you would become: Lawyer… doctor… dentist… wait no, she wants me to marry one
Level of Jewishness / Hipsterness: Accidentally high, not really
I am a lady looking for a jewbro

If you could be a typeface, which one would you pick?
Gill Sans

How do you take your coffee?
With a black eye

Favorite vegan dish your mother makes:
Russian beet salad… and the occasional meaty and greasy stuffed cabbage

Oh baby, tell me what you put on your bagel.
Avocado and peppah

Whats the first song on your make out mix?
Crystalized, The XX

When you make ‘bad decisions’, what is your drink of choice?
Ugh, vodka… ugh… never again…

What is the most obscure band you’ve ever seen?
Lightning Bolt? Is that even obscure if I’m from Providence?

 

If you would like to submit your own profile for Who Wants A HJ, please send an email to love [at] hipsterjew [dot] com. All applicants encouraged to email! If you find yourself in love with one of our Hipster Jews and want to get in contact with them, send an email to love [at] hipsterjew [dot] com.

Nickname: Amberjean
Age: 24
Location: Seattle
Occupation: Secretary
But your mother always dreamed you would become: A doctor
Level of Jewishness / Hipsterness: I keep a kosher kitchen, but my plates have pink skulls and crossbones.
I am a ___Chick_____ looking for a _____Dood______

If you could be a typeface, which one would you pick?
Berkeley Old Style. No reason.

How do you take your coffee?
Cold. 

Favorite vegan your mother makes:
My mother believes firmly in the age old tradition of Chinese Take Out.

Oh baby, tell me what you put on your bagel.
I like it raw!

When you make ‘bad decisions’, what is your drink of choice?
Tequila.

What is the most obscure band you’ve ever seen?
Jim?

Nickname:  Leviathan
Location: The Shtetl of Metro Detroit
Age:
  ∞
Occupation:
 student
But your mother always dreamed you would become:
somebody who worked in the health field
Level of Jewishness / Hipsterness: Hebrew school dropout and an aspiring installation/mixed media artist
I am A hipster jew looking for a hipster jewess

If you could be a typeface, which one would you pick?
Arial Bold because it’s great for making stencils

How do you take your coffee?
Non-coffee drinker, more of a smoothie guy

Favorite vegan your mother makes:
Asian stir fry with tofu

Oh baby, tell me what you put on your bagel.
Pumpernickel bagel with cream cheese

Whats the first song on your make out mix?
Polish Girl – Neon Indian

When you make ‘bad decisions’, what is your drink of choice?
Burnett’s 

What is the most obscure band you’ve ever seen?
These two old Jewish New Yorkers playing bass and trumpet (no other instruments)

If you would like to submit your own profile for Who Wants A HJ, please send an email to love [at] hipsterjew [dot] com. All applicants encouraged to email! If you find yourself in love with one of our Hipster Jews and want to get in contact with them, send an email to love [at] hipsterjew [dot] com.

Nickname: Shayna Madela
Age: Old enough to be traded for 3 goats 
Location:
 Amherst, MA
Occupation: Filmmaker/Writer
But your mother always dreamed you would become: A plastic surgeon. So she could get the family discount.
Level of Jewishness / Hipsterness: I fall somewhere along the spectrum between yenta and moil. I wear tweed for both occasions.

I am a nishtikeit looking for a brocheh without the bro.

If you could be a typeface, which one would you pick?
I like serifs.

How do you take your coffee?
Like my Jewish heritage- bitter. 

Favorite vegan your mother makes:
latkes!

Oh baby, tell me what you put on your bagel.
I will put cream cheese on anything. The bagel is merely a vehicle to get it into my system. Lox is a bonus. Sometimes whitefish and a slice of tomato. Never capers.

Whats the first song on your make out mix?
Led Zeppelin III Side 2

When you make ‘bad decisions’, what is your drink of choice?
Tequila.

Anything else you’d like to add?
I’m like Craigslist, so please, no scams.

If you would like to submit your own profile for Who Wants A HJ, please send an email to love [at] hipsterjew [dot] com. All applicants encouraged to email! If you find yourself in love with one of our Hipster Jews and want to get in contact with them, send an email to love [at] hipsterjew [dot] com.