Archives For The Duckman

Hey look! It’s a double ad for Sleater-Kinney’s new album “No Cities To Love” and Bob’s Burgers which is on Sundays on Fox (I am good at this).

No but seriously, both brands know exactly who they are targeting. If you love Tina you probably love Sleater-Kinney. If you love Sleater-Kinney, you probably love Tina. It’s a match made in horse heaven.

Our favorite comedian in the entire world and the queen of dark comedy, Jessie Kahnweiler, is back with another uncomfortable comedic web series called “The Skinny!” Instead of taking us through an awkward tour of Jessie finding her roots, or asking black guys if they would bang her, or making us laugh while talking about how she’s felt after being raped, we’re going to see her issues with bulimia!

Even if awkward comedy isn’t your thing, Jessie’s work has been nothing less than inspirational, powerful and absolutely hilarious. That’s why we give The Skinny the Hipster Jew thumbs up. Help get this series into our hands and into our minds and support her kickstarter, dumbies!

urban-outfitters-tapestry-2015 (1)This morning I saw that the ADL has been pressuring Urban Outfitters to take down this shirt. At first I thought that Abe Foxman has fallen off his rocker again. I mean come… on… A striped shirt with a pink triangle? What does that have to do with the Holocaust? Because Homosexuals had to wear a pink triangle in concentration camps? And because people in concentration camps had to wear gray striped clothing? Seems like a bit of a stretch to me…

But then I remembered. I remembered how many Urban Outfitters scandals we have written about. I remembered the ones that involved Jews and the ones that did not. I remembered that this isn’t the first time Urban Outfitters has dealt with a Holocaust chic scandal.

biz insider urban outfitters

So maybe this isn’t just an odd coincidence. Urban Outfitters loves controversy. They love being talked about even in a negative way. Maybe this is exactly what they wanted.

I have never been more excited to see barely anything from a 52 second clip.

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There is a lot of Lumbersexual hate going around in recent days. What’s a lumbersexual you ask? I really don’t know. It seems like people are hating on dudes with beards who like to wear plaid. And since I am a dude with a beard who likes to wear plaid, I would like to come out and say that some of us grow beards because we don’t have a choice. Have you seen me without a beard? I don’t have a chin!

We also grow beards because we can. I mean, I’ve had people up to age 60 tell me how jealous they are of my beard. It’s so wonderful. So full and slightly orange. It’s really a thing of beauty.

My beard was also great to me at age 19-20 because I was able to buy so much alcohol without being carded. Yay Beards!

So please. The next time you write your Lumbersexual hate pieces, remember that there are some of us who grow beards because we have to. Not because we’re here to appease you.

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I have been spending much of my day reading Wikipedia articles, when I decided to read up a bit on our lord and savior David Berman, when I noticed this one line…

On 8 January 2015, Bob Nastanovich posted a photo on his Facebook page claiming that the Silver Jews are practicing again.

January 8th? Thats today! I quickly went to Bob’s facebook page and low and behold… Silver Jews, together again! I don’t care if they were only posing for a photo. Just the thought of Silver Jews getting back together makes my day.

We’re a week into 2015 and already this is a better year than 2014/

Celebrate every night of Hanukkah by taking a few hits on this Menorah Bong. I am sure that this still counts as lighting for the night, right? Must be kosher to light up! I would go as far as to say this should be the only was we light our menorahs. If Hanukkah wasn’t already the official holiday for Jewish potheads

Rejoice Jewish Harry Potter fans! One of our own has been eating Bertie Botts while fighting alongside Dumbledore’s Army.

I take it back, New Modest Mouse song is pretty good

I know I just wrote a post exclaiming that I only use Spotify to listen to music, but as of today, that is over. I will no longer be using spotify.

That sucks.

Spotify is a great service for music listeners. While it may not have everything, it has most things. And that’s good enough for your day to day listening. But I am having some problems with their ads.

Ad?!? Well why don’t you just fucking pay for a subscription, asshole?

While I was on my road trip, I had paid for a spotify subscription. It was amazing considering my phone had no space on it and I didn’t have enough money to buy an ipod classic (now valued at over $1000). I could listen to whatever, whenever. I had my 3000+ song playlists and a mediocre list of spotify radio stations. But I am not listening to spotify as much as I used to. And I can not justify spending $120 a year on music at this moment in my life.

Well what about that deal they have? $.99 for three month! You can easily listen to music that way and decide if it’s worth is again… idiot

Unfortunately, because I already paid for Spotify, I am not allowed to partake in this wonderful deal.

Okay… fine… how bad are these ads, really? Why are they so terrible you’re running away?

spotify long ad

I understand why Spotify must make me listen to ads. I am okay listening to ads. But I have been having a few problems with the ads. First one is content.

Spotify knows exactly what I listen to. They know when I listen to it. They know how much of it I listen to, and when I skip a song, or a genre right away. The ads that I am getting are no where near what I listen to. It’s like they’re telling me “You got drunk one night and listened to that D12 song which had Eminem as the lead. Eminem had a girl in one of videos that also went to 1st grade with this Christian Rock singer. So we hope you like this 30 second clip from their next hit song played over and over for the next week!

My second problem is the amount of ads being played.

Three months ago, I’d hear one or two ads every 30-45 minutes. They would last a total of 30 seconds. Two months ago, I’d hear 3-4 ads ever 25-30 minutes. They would last a total of 2 minutes. Last month I started hearing 6 ads every 25 minutes. They would last 3 minutes. That’s annoying, but fine, I understand.

Today I heard an entire 4 minute song as an ad. And then two 30 second ads after it. That is completely unacceptable. The song was shit. It doesn’t come close to anything I listen to. I feel used. I feel abused. I am done. It is over. Goodbye Spotify.

UPDATE: according to a Reddit user, the ad was a mistake. “Sorry, there was a problem with our ads targeting. It’s being fixed.” Considering the fact that their ad targeting is way off, I don’t believe it for a second.