Archives For The Duckman

As this video shows, it’s impossible to please people on this subject. There is a reason why we don’t talk much about the Israel-Palestinian conflict. No matter what we say, most people will yell at us for either not caring about dead children, or supporting a terrorist group, or not mentioning something that’s hardly important. The entire war is a PR battle and we really don’t feel like pushing either side’s press release.

If you really want our opinion, it’s this: Cut the shit everyone.

Have you ever been up on stage performing, but had to take a wicked piss. So wicked that you just have to do it mid song? Action Bronson did. Or at least pretended to. During his set at Ottawa Bluesfest, Action Bronson walked down to the port-o-potty whipped out his mic and continued with his song “Shiraz”. I wish more performers would be so open about their their urine various bowel movements.

// Death and Taxes

It only took a few weeks, but Dov Charney is back with American Apparel. After a video surfaced of Dov walking in the nude around employees, American Apparel decided to ax Dov from his own company. After years of sticking up for Dov’s alleged pervy / abusive behavior, the board of directors had enough. At least enough to give Dov a short vacation from the company, only to hire him back as a creative consultant. Welcome back Dov!

And now for no reason at all, here is a video of Dov Charney (Rich Fulcher) and Terry Richardson (Moshe Kasher) looking for America’s Next Sick Fuck.

Weird Al’s new, and possibly final album, Mandatory Fun, is set to be released TOMORROW! To celebrate, he will be releasing a new video every day this week. The first one to come out is Tacky, a star filled spoof on Pharrell’s Happy. Although Weird Al has stated that this is his last album, I am sure this isn’t the last we will see of him. I think he understand how important he is in making 14 year old boys and myself smile and laugh.

Vanessa Bayer, better known by most of you as Jacob the Bar Mitzvah Boy from SNL, asks all the tough questions to our favorite ladies Haim.

“So what does Haim mean in Hebrew? Let me guess—’she who parts hair in the middle’?”

Tom Hanks was hanging out at Justin Bieber’s manager’s wedding. Just standing there on the dance floor. Most likely drunk as a skunk. With a shawl wrapped around his neck. A yarmulke on his head. Singing “This is How We Do It.” If my bubbe was still alive today she would be kvelling.

// Death and Taxes

For anyone that just got out of a coma, this past Friday was the 4th of July. (Oh and the year is 2014. The Cubs still haven’t won a World Series since 1908.) As you may expect, every brand is trying to get int your face about it. Whether it’s a new product, old product, or re-posting an image to get you to see they exist, they’re doing it in full force. Sometimes the posts are vague. Such as this one posted by American Apparel.


While the pattern of the smoke may seem a bit *cool*, there is obviously something wrong here. This isn’t any ordinary smoke. It’s the Space Shuttle Challenger exploding. Wow. Such great material for the 4th of July.

So obviously the formerly Canadian run company took it down. And wrote this apology:


Now, to be honest, I wasn’t born until after the Challenger disaster. I’ve seen movies on it, but I wouldn’t have recognized this photo as the Challenger exploding. ALTHOUGH I would have seen this as SOMETHING exploding. I understand that this person had no idea what’s going on and just saw some white clouds on red sky. I believe it. Just please, next time there’s a holiday, post some fireworks. The last thing you want to do is celebrate Victory over Japan Day (which why does this still exist in Rhode Island?) with a photo of a nuke exploding over Nagasaki.

How to eat a bagel

The Duckman —  06/25/2014 —  Comments

We’ve told you how we take our bagels in Who Wants A HJ, but we’ve never shown you this way to eat a bagel you’ve never tried before! Thank you Clickhole for being the best thing on the internet.


Our favorite American Apparel CEO, Dov Charney, was fired yesterday after the board decided his time was up. It is well documented that Dov tends to have some controversial moments. He’s been sued for choking (not sexually) and harassing (sexually) employees. Mashable and Hipster Jew has shared a few of these moments.

It’s not surprising anyone, including the CEO and founder of a company, to be fired after so many lawsuits. But I do have a few issues with this. Why is the board NOW letting Dov go after years of allegations? Most of the cases against Dov have been dismissed. On top of that, I haven’t seen any new allegations in a year. But according to Mashable, the board fired him because of “ongoing investigation into alleged misconduct.”

Maybe there is something we don’t know? Maybe a new case against Dov that’s damning? Maybe the board got confused and thought they were firing Terry Richardson? Either that or the board finally looked at the company’s stock after 6 years of it tanking. I’m not too sure. It seems like an odd time to let Dov go after giving him so many chances.


If there is one thing I hate about the internet, it’s clickbaity websites. You know, the ones that start off with “What this person did is shocking” or end with “You would never guess what happens next!” Or list sites that make absolutely no sense and cover up their nonsense with animated gifs. Is there anything worse?

Now this is where comes in. Clickhole exists to completely make fun of those stupid quiz sites that everyone shares on Facebook. To make fun or terrible articles with terrible headlines. And lists that make absolutely no sense. Their main targets are Buzzfeed and Upworthy. To a lesser extent they make fun of sites like Gawker and Cracked. They even posted a video of a dinosaur dancing that reminds me of an old YTMND website. They also let you know how many times you’ve clicked. I mean, whats the point of having a clickbait website without knowing how many times you clicked! Seems silly right? (I have clicked 156 times).

The internet is getting mocked. And I am enjoying it.