I do not care about spoilers. I do not care if I mention a major plot line from a movie. I do not care if you tell me the ending to a book. In fact, please tell me the ending to the book you’re currently reading. I want to know what’s going to happen in Game of Thrones. I want to know who the new undead bad guys in the Walking Dead comic book are. I want to know everything and I have no time to watch / read / listen it myself. So please, in the comments write all the spoilers you can!
Fuck you and your fucking spoilers. I know I said I don’t mind you telling me about Game of Thrones and other stories I like, but I absolutely hate that within the first 24 hours every website is showing a gif of “that scene” that you have to see. You know what I’m talking about! The scene with the shocking death/dragon/revenge/battle. I hate it. I go home that night and I am constantly wondering “when am I going to see that scene that I just saw.” (Say that 5 times fast.) And of course it’s at the end…
Then you have the recent Simpsons incident. Al Jean attempted to give us a few spoilers about the upcoming Simpsons season. One thing he said that got people angry was that Bart is going to finally be killed by Sideshow Bob. It’s a Treehouse of horror episode so who cares. Then he said that Homer and Marge are going to separate and Homer will date a character voiced by Lena Dunham. People freaked out that Homer and Marge were getting a divorce (they’re not). Yet no one freaked out the 40 other times they separated, or the one time that they actually got a divorce, or the 80 times Homer/Marge had romantic feelings for someone else. Without this dumb spoiler I wouldn’t have to sit through two days of everyone on facebook bitching about nothing.
God damnit stop spoiling. Go forth and spoil.