And That’s How Talkeetna, Alaska Screwed Us All

Be afraid. Be very, very afraid.

There is a place in this brave, yet stupid nation where. A. Cat. Is. Mayor.

Cats are one step closer to being our overlords. Thanks a lot Alaska. Thanks for screwing over our lives forever and ever.

According to idiots in the small town of Talkeetna, Mayor Stubbs has more of a figurehead role because the town is a historical district.

I don’t know what that means, but I’m going to assume it entails something bad for the human mass as a whole.

That cat, under supervision of the Evil Cats Guild is going to crap all over this “honorary” power. And no one’s going to be around to scoop out the litter every day. Do you think honorary means anything to a cat? It really doesn’t. He’s going to make that position super real. Super duper real.

First he’ll raise taxes on dog food to extreme heights. Then he’ll insist all the women in the town cut off their hair as a toy for him. Finally, he’ll poop in everyone’s shower like my roommate’s ADORABLE cat does when she’s angry with us.

Next step…Cat Dictatorship.

This cat is supposed to look like Hitler. See it’s moustache?

United Cats of Kittymerica.

I hope the dust bunnies survive.